What do I do when everyone keeps telling me it's all in my head. They say that if I think im feeling better I will start to be happier. I try to be happy so much, however it never works. I always end up feeling empty or even worse sad.
29 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Jul 6, 2020
Anonymous
on
Jan 18, 2015
...read more
They are telling you to lie to yourself and start believing that lie. That's the worst kind of "advice" someone can give to you. Hiding behind a happy face. Everything is in "our head". It doesn't mean, that it isn't real. First step is figuring out, what is causing you to feel this way, and not fooling yourself into believing, that everything is OK.
HelpfulNick95
on
Jan 13, 2015
...read more
Technically, it is all in your head, but that doesn't mean it doesn't affect you. People who think you are just making yourself feel depressed obviously do not know what depression truly is. Depression is something we all face from time to time, in short doses if it's not a clinical depression problem, but that doesn't mean you're making it up. Depression could be caused by past events, loss, grieving, and a whole lot of other negative things. The best thing to do is track your depression and make sure it doesn't get worse. Talking with someone here on 7 Cups helps a lot of people too with their depression. Relaxation methods like deep diaphragmatic breathing, imagery, and meditation also can help. To learn more, visit our Self Help Guide for Depression at http://www.7cups.com/depression-help-online/
HoneyStarling
on
May 21, 2015
...read more
Telling someone 'it's all in your head' is such an awful platitude! I'm so sorry you get told rubbish like that. Of course it's in your head - so is a headache (but it would be stupid to tell someone who is suffering a migraine 'just be happy, the pain will go away.') I do think trying to keep positive, being grateful and noticing the positive over the negative can really help you stay 'happy' - but if you're not in a place where you can be Pollyanna, that's okay. You're great just as you are. I like exercise, practising daily acts of self love and self care and journalling to help me fill the empty void and overcome depression. And stand up for yourself - you're trying hard, you should get credit for that. Reminding people that 'just because it's in my head doesn't make it easier to cope with' or straight out telling them "thanks for the not helpful insight." You should be proud of yourself, not put down by people who clearly have no idea what you're going through.
crispSky28
on
Mar 27, 2017
...read more
It is okay, most people won't understand what it is like to feel the way you do and they don't get that it isn't something you can just change by changing one thought. I would try explaining to them what it is like and how hard it is to change how you are feeling because you don't fully understand why yourself.
Anonymous
on
Feb 20, 2015
...read more
Know that it is not your fault and that it is wrong headed of people to start off telling you to be happier as if you are wrong or not "doing life right." Although I think that our thoughts do greatly influence our feelings, it is not as simple as thinking your way better by doing so on the surface any more than thinking your car is okay when the oil light is flashing will make your car better. I do think that we can use our thoughts to help us feel better but that is a more complex discussion and certainly not one that should ever begin with what amounts to a put down and blaming. :)
Anonymous
on
Apr 1, 2015
...read more
It's frustrating when you feel like your emotions are being invalidated. I've had dysthymia my entire life, and many people, including family, have told me that my symptoms "aren't real" and that I just had to change to be happier. Trying harder never worked. Coming to accept and explore my feelings and learning healthy ways to cope with them is what led me to happiness. You have to remember that whether anyone else believes what you are feeling is "real", it's real to YOU. You are experiencing it right now, and those feelings ARE valid.
enlightenedRiver18
on
May 31, 2015
...read more
Don't worry if everyone tells you it's all in your head- they're right, but that's kind of the point of mental illnesses. After all, your brain is in your head- so their point is invalid.
People who don't feel how you feel can't understand it, so don't let them make you feel weird, just because you can't miraculously feel good like they can. It will take time to come to terms with your feelings, so try not to worry about it too much.
You could try speaking to a therapist about how you feel, as they're trained to deal with people with feelings like these, and shouldn't shun you, or make you feel bad about your feelings
Anonymous
on
Jun 29, 2015
...read more
Some people don't understand feelings of emptiness or sadness until they really experience it themselves. I would encourage you to find someone who is more understand regarding your feelings and what you are going through. We are always here to help.
Anonymous
on
Jun 30, 2015
...read more
Depression is a very real thing, but most people that haven't been through it won't understand it. Try to explain that you can't be happy.
bluelotus99
on
Apr 11, 2016
...read more
don't listen to people like that. you don't just "shrug off" mental conditions or disorders. people are lazy and don't want to feel responsible enough to sit down and help you with it, so they just choose the easy way out and say it's all in your head. try to get help from a professional.
Talk to an expert therapist
After a stint at corporate finance, my lived experiences and interest in...
Talk to Serene Sarah NowCommunities