I have a good life why am I not happy?

I think that this question is asked a lot. People think that you should automatically be fine because you have a good life. If you are unhappy, the common misconception is that it's your own fault, or that it's something you can control or maybe that you don't deserve to be feeling down at all. Mental health has a big impact on our happiness and it's a definite fact that it doesn't pick or choose who has a mental health issue and who doesn't. If feeling happy was a choice then everyone would choose it. It doesn't matter what kind of life you have, mental health is something that can impact us at anytime and take a massive toll on our happiness. It's nothing to be ashamed of, don't blame yourself for it. I listened to a TED talk recently about depression and anxiety, it really opened my eyes to realise that mental health is something people should deal with as a group- if one person is down, then everyone steps in to support them. It should be, what can WE do about this, not what YOU should do. I think that really sums up the point of 7 Cups to the fact that we make people feel like they aren't alone and that we care. To come back to the question 'I have a good life, why am I not happy?' I think that we should concentrate more on the 'not happy' part of this question- the quality of your life shouldn't make you feel bad for feeling anything other than okay. It's human to not be fine sometimes. Your mental health is so important and it's okay to want to concentrate on working on yourself. Everyone's experience of life is different, there is no wand to fix it all, but its really encouraged to talk about these things. Reaching out on 7 Cups, talk to a listener, explore the self help guides etc. There are so many resources out there to help you and support a person through a hard time that they may be experiencing. Sorry for the little ramble. Hope it helped someone out there. x

I have asked myself that question many times. Personally the conclusion I came to is that I need to live a fulfilling life in order to be happy; one with a higher purpose. For me, this means devoting my life to helping others in any way I can and finding the higher purpose in everything I do. Making other people happy makes me happy and helping to look after the environment makes me feel better about myself. I recently watched a film regarding this issue called ‘The way of a peaceful warrior’, which I can highly recommend (available on YouTube).

I'm married to a wonderful guy. Like seriously, he is calm, sticks by me, like a grounding force for me. After two years of looking, I finally have a job that I love! Like seriously love it. I work with kids as an occupational therapist and they never cease to make me laugh and smile. I live in "the happiest town in the USA", as some refer to it, Boulder CO. We're doing okay. Of course life is hard, but we are doing okay. I wish I could enjoy it, but I am constantly behind, overwhelmed, stressed out of my mind, and anxious. I have so little self confidence and I place so much of my value in what others think of me. It's impossible to be happy when you believe the worst about yourself. Everything could be great but if the mind is not at peace then you can't see it or experience it.

Many reasons can contribute to you feeling this way, and none of them have to do with you being crazy or with you feeling out of touch! Many people including myself, have have thoughts of this nature and more so been feeling as if we are blessed with a great life, yet aren't happy. I personally understand this great and totally get that you are struggling with this subject. I can't provide a direct answer, as much as I wish I could. This question has a different answer for everyone. But I can say is that there oftentimes is an underlying cause of other issues that we haven't brought up to the surface yet lie in our heads. These can be from things we feel but don't address, or other issues in our lives. No issues are too small! If you have these feelings that persists with thoughts of sadness and dark thoughts, I would suggest talking to your doctor for a referral for a psychiatrist or therapist. Have a great day!

What society depicts as a good life can often be a limiting factor in one's personal growth. Reflecting on your situation and the feelings connected to it are an important step to lead a happy and above all healthy life. Here are some examples of questions you could ask yourself: If there were no judgement, no 'but', what would you do? When are you the happiest? (around which people, activities, etc.) Where do your personal views on happiness divert from society's norm? Often one can believe that because one has a life others describe as good, one is obligated to feel happy. It can often help to think about mental illness with an analogy to physical illness. Even if you have a good life, you can get sick and you are allowed to be. Seeking help whether with professionals or the ones closest to you can help to reflect on your situation.

What do we mean by having a good life and how this is related with the feeling of happiness? Sometimes we link the sense of happiness to factor completely unrelated to the quality of our life. Often you can hear that people say they were happier when they were struggling with materialistic aspects of their life but they were full of hope, actions and purpose. When they were studying and trying to establish themselves. Reaching a materialistic comfort doesn't automatically provide happiness especially when there are some fundamental loss encountered or a lack of purpose that makes us feel unhappy or empty.

I have experience with this too. Some people have good lives but aren't content or are unhappy. This can make them guilty and confused as to why they aren't happy when their lives are so lucky compared to others. This guilty can lead to self-hate and other bad things, which would only serve to make you more guilty. And so the cycle repeats. This doesn't mean you are selfish or greedy, some people just aren't in their best place. If you feel happier in a less fortunate situation, or a more fortunate situation, this means nothing bad. You are merely more at ease in a different place than you are now.

Sometimes we believe that happiness is a thing or can be found in a person. When in all reality we are happy when we are doing stuff that energizes our hearts and fuel our passion. Think of happiness as seeing the positive in every given situation. Always try to remember that happiness is not something you can buy or receive from someone else. Happiness can only be found within you. It is possible to live a good/blessed life and still not feel happy. Why, because you may be receiving your happiness from something or someone. Try finding a hobby. If you don't know what kinds of things you're into start small. Let the domino effect lead the way. Most of the time one thing leads to another. Enjoy the journey!

I am currently reading the happiness trap by Russ Harris. In the first part he talks about the myths of happiness. On in particular that resonated with me was the idea that there are two meanings of happiness. One is the feeling of happiness, feeling good. The other is having a fulfilling life of things we love that has purpose. He goes on to talk about how as humans we experience a full range of emotions and really don't have as much control over them as we would like. He also describes how every emotion in our lives serves some sort of purpose and we need to accept them. So to answer your question, if you are not feeling happy maybe it is because you are feeling other emotions in your life that you have not yet accepted or figured out what they are trying to tell you.

Your life may look great to others and still frustrate you or lack something to fulfill you. The only one to judge the quality of your life are you and you should do that based on your feeling, not on social standards or by comparing your situation to others who got it worse than you. You have a right to be unhappy no matter how many people "got it worse"! When I feel like my life isn't neccesarily bad but also doesn't fulfill me, I - ask myself whether I have enough persons around me that I can trust and have a good time with - consider changing hobbies / trying something new - ask myself what I want my life to be like in some years, for example what I want to achieve in the next five years and whether what I am doing right now will lead to that or not However, you can also be unhappy without knowing why at all. If you feel bad for a while without being able to determine a reason or in a severe intensity, please consult someone who can help you! Stay safe!