How can I turn the internal voice of self-hate into one of caring and compassion?

It helps to separate the problem from myself as a whole person. To turn 'everybody hates me' to 'I should get better at small-talk, so people will feel more comfortable next to me' or 'I am failure' to 'let me try to improve such and such areas' An important thing to keep in mind, is that just one positive step forward, invites other positive things to come.

Always put yourself into their shoes. It helps to get to know that person yourself, and understand what they go through everyday.

You can use the Stop Technique and the Positive Affirmations technique together, the stop portion requires monitoring your thoughts and every time you notice your inner talking going negative, you say (out loud it's better but not mandatory) "Stop!" that will get you in control temporally and stop the flow, then you create a list of affirmations (short phrases that focuses either in positive characteristics of you, or you would like to have) and use it as a replacement. You could find examples of affirmations all over the web.

Just a few moments ago, I went through a similar story. On a personal note, I'm struggling financially lately, and for some reason, I learned to feel ashamed of it. While better coping with shame now, today I had a conversation with mom where I felt ashamed. She recently talked with some relatives about me and lied about my situation, telling a different made-up story. She would then tell me what she told them and I went berserker about her lying about my story. Somehow, I was under the impression that her lying meant she was ashamed of me. I kept telling myself this story of how "Mom is ashamed of me" and I felt like pure crap. I took me some painful crying and around half an hour and talking to my cousin before I awoke to this: She does love me. She lies not because she's ashamed of me: she lies because it's hard for her to deal with questions about the truth, and it's easier for her to keep things in secret & silence. So, my point here is: I chose to believe she loves me. So now when the voice in my head said "Mom is ashamed of me" I replied: Nope, she loves me, and she struggles to deal with confrontations, so she opts for lying". It's about what story you choose to tell yourself. And as much as I'd love to say that this is easy, sometimes it's just very challenging and before getting there I just need to cry some. We are in this together....

I'm going to be honest-- learning to love yourself is a long process, and I'm still working on it myself. It's all about faking it until you make it. Look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself that you look great. It'll feel silly and fake, but do it anyways. When you think something negative about yourself, correct yourself and compliment yourself instead. Focus on the things that you like about yourself, rather than the things you dislike. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, not those who only make you feel worse. It's a very slow and difficult process, but everyone can get there eventually

First things first, learning to understand yourself is key. Before you can love yourself you have to understand yourself.

Prayer or meditation does wonders. Try helping people, it will give you joy and a feeling of satisfaction. Make you a better a d compassionate person.

Don't calm this voice; let it hang. Start a new voice of compassion and caring slowly, and keep paying more heed to it; you will never know when the hateful voice be inaudible. And what I mean by start a new voice is keep doing more of compassionate task, helping others and caring for yourself, start small eventually hate will precede.

Sometimes when you self-loathe yourself,you have to get out and discover people.. People from different kinds and different walks and how the way they treasure their happiness.. Sometimes appreciating of happiness makes us to appreciate our little million things we should be grateful for and this will make you to extend hands for the needy.

The process requires a shift from the “narrative” inside your mind which defines your identity to a new way of looking at yourself. There are many things which need to be done but they won't happen in a day and effortlessly: no complete change, no big challenge has never been achieved without hard work. I am not here to frighten you, on the contrary, we need to be completely honest with ourselves when it comes to becoming who we truly are. You should need to forgive yourself, starting becoming kind and gentle towards yourself and in all the things you do, from the simplest to the most difficult because doing things with kindness slowly turns an aggressive behaviour into a more gentle attitude. Becoming more and come aware will also bring compassion and loving kindness in your heart and in your mind. So the first step should be to start meditating in order to calm your mind and help you investigate the source of self-hate, where and when that internal voice triggers hatred and other painful feelings. A simple question which requires not a single answer but several ones which also lead to other subjects. Such a question doesn’t require an easy answer like giving you a cooking recipe and the name of ingredients to use. Find a true spiritual teacher, online there are a few worth listening to from Ajahn Brahm to Eckhart Tolle. Their teachings can “easily” show you what you need to do to change the internal voice of self-hate into one of loving care and compassion towards yourself and then towards the others.