What comes in the bully's mind when he bullies me? Is this really making him feel better?
21 Answers
Moderated by Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Updated: Dec 29, 2020
calmLove29
on
Dec 28, 2015
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he's just trying to put you down so he can stand in your place, he's jealous so it is making it feel better. but remember there is probably a reason why he wants to feel better
Sunrisecatcher7
on
May 9, 2016
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Temporarily, yes. Bullies need to feed their ego so they can feel superior above all people. Okay?..
Anonymous
on
May 9, 2016
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yes obviously,it makes the bully feel more powerful and sys that you cant stand up for yourself and he can do anything to you
RoxyBoo
on
Sep 20, 2016
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Bullying is just another coping mechanism like cutting. Although rather then inflicting pain on himself. It's at you. So I'd imagine they'd think similar things that a person who's being abused or mistreated in some way by higher ups and like all coping mechanisms. Yes it does make them feel better
mikethedj4
on
Sep 20, 2016
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I went from being bullied to becoming a bully. Some people simply push others around to make them feel more superior to mask their own insecurities or depression in life. It's nothing personally as usually they just need someone to talk to and don't have anyone. Sometimes people do it to just fit in and end up being hurt in the process because of peer pressure. Don't take it personally!
It's also a fair assessment to say that later it's possible the bully may feel sad, guilt, and/or even remorse based upon what he/she did to someone else. Some believe it's a sign of weakness to show feelings and hold all these things in. Which can also mean expressing these feelings in aberrant ways.
Even if they're a Symphorophiliac or get aroused by the misfortune of others ( Schadenfreude ). This feeling one has on feeling better is only temporary and ultimately causes more harm than good not just for the bully but to others.
Kitty5oh
on
Mar 28, 2017
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In the moment, the bully will feel powerful, which triggers a release of adrenaline and dopamine in his/her brain. This rush can feel good to a person. Once the euphoric rush wears off, the bully will no longer have that feeling of power and control. This is why they will likely continue to be a bully.
Anonymous
on
Jun 4, 2018
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As a listener, I am not able to enter a bullies mind. You never know what others are going through.
Anonymous
on
Dec 29, 2020
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Hurt people, hurt people. Your bully picks on you because you have something they don't and it kills them. Think about it. Why else would this person go out of their way to knock you down a peg?. They see you as better as them in some way and they want to even the playing field. It's called leveling. When people are threaten they either puff themselves up or they knock you down. Don't let this bully get to you. If anything take pity on them that they don't have the emotional tools to better for themselves.
AJmacklam
on
Nov 15, 2016
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Different people would feel different things. Some bullies do it because they get bullied, some do it because they don't like someone and don't know that violence isnt the way to deal with things, then some do it because they are jealous. Keep your chin up, we're here if you need anything :)
peacefulSpring84
on
Mar 7, 2017
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A couple different things could be happening; the "Bully" may be tormented at home and this leads him to believe this is the only way to either protect himself or make friends. They could be trying to impress a group a people they thrive to be friends with and that hurting and intimidating others is the only option. The bully would eventually feel isolated because of this, they can see the effect their words/actions have on people and could feel shame or sadness towards themselves. The bully on a different case could feel pride and may not understand the impact they have, assuming that the victims know they were "joking" or just messing around. Both these options will lead the bully into an unhappy life because they had no true friends and would eventually lead to depression if not already.
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