Everyone in school thinks I am bitter. How can I change their minds?

If it’s a matter of changing their perspectives of you, try interacting with them in ways that will reflect positively on you such as being friendly in hallways or classrooms and smiling occasionally as you pass them. Essentially, try to instill a positive impression on them. You have the power to change people’s hearts and minds and if you make a genuine effort to do so, people will notice and subconsciously begin to view you otherwise. However, be aware that there are some people who will have unfair or untrue opinions and views of you that cannot be changed.

Psychotherapy, dialectic behavioural therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy, help a lot as you can reframe your mindset with it and you can become more optimistic and thus less prone to conflicts with your school mates or professors (teachers) and thus they can start liking you more, they can start to see that you are more positive, happy, joyous, that you enjoy being among them and if they Will see it, also they Will enjoy your company more. It is all interconnected. Yes, people like people, who are positive, happy, joyous and enjoy their life. They don't like being around grudgy, sad and angry people.

People who are considered ‘bitter’ typically give off a negative vibe and it may be that you talk more about the negative aspects of a situation or person, or just speak more passionately when there is something negative to say. When speaking with people at school, try and balance your conversation more with more emphasis on positivity rather than negativity or try to avoid or at least not to engage too much in conversations on subjects which you feel negatively passionate about. If you feel negative about certain things and you spot a pattern, it may be worth talking to someone here to gauge some honest feedback and explore why you feel this way.

Everybody has their own experiences in their heads. One might interpret a situation differently than you may interpret it. For example, sometimes people think I am shy because I am quiet, when really I'm not shy at all, in some situations I am just more reflective than outgoing. If somebody approaches you and states that you seem bitter, ask yourself, was a bitter or was I expressing something else? And if you were expressing something else, ask yourself, "okay now could that have been interpreted as bitter to somebody else?". Self awareness is the first step. Ultimately though, if you are a good person and like yourself, who cares what people think of you? don't give other people the power over how you feel.

Firstly, I don't think others' opinions of you should be something you stress over. But I totally understand how we all have our fair share of worries of how others perceive us and how we want to be perceived. I think you should just be true to yourself and show others your true authentic self. Often, people make judgments before they get to know someone, but change their minds once they get closer and understand them better. I think just being nice and trying to communicate with others can help you show who you truly are and be proud of yourself!

The beautiful aspect of this is that you don't have to change their minds. We all perceive things differently based off of our personal experiences and expectations formed by those experiences. You are incredible how you are. It is difficult to not focus our attention on what people think of us, as it is such a prominent part of our society; however, we are ultimately living for us and our well-being, as opposed to anyone else. Sometimes we aren't appreciated for who we are, which is frustrating, heart-breaking, and upsetting. I would encourage anyone to be who they are, their authentic selves, and surround themselves with support.

It can be hard to get through the school day when you are concerned with what other people might be thinking of you. While you cannot directly control what others think, or change anyone's mind for them, one idea that might help get your mind off of what they think of you, and might also help them to not think of you as bitter, is to focus on yourself and finding your own personal contentment. When you are truly enjoying yourself, you are less likely to notice or care about what others might be thinking. Additionally, truly enjoying yourself and finding contentment on your own terms will make it harder for others to construe your personality or actions as "bitter" because you will likely seem happier and warmer.

I can hear you feel incredibly hurt by how you believe others perceive you. As human beings we communicate what our thoughts and feelings about each other are through verbal and non-verbal communication. Whilst it is true that we cannot control what people think of us we can however control our own actions. Take this situation as a pointer and a sign to be more self aware. Try to see if you are showing any signs of bitterness towards people in your attitude. This may sound difficult but through some of your own introspection you can find ways to change your attitude about things and towards people and be more positive. You can unravel your thoughts and feelings through anonymous online communication from a listener or therapist on our site who specialise or have lived experience with what you are going through. Resources such as self-help guides and mindfulness exercises are be provided too on our site. You are not alone in the situation where you feel others misunderstand you as a bitter person. Misunderstandings can be cleared and what this comes from is self-acceptance, diplomacy and compassion.

First, it should not matter what other people think of you, as long as you know you are true to yourself. That is all that matters. However, if you really want to change peoples' minds, maybe you can really try and see how other people might view you. You can ask yourself questions like: Am I not smiling to people when I walk by? Do I look standoff-ish? Am I not giving off a friendly vibe? You must be honest with yourself and dig deep to do some internal inventory and work on what you think can be changed or altered.

Sometimes when people have an opinion of us even if it is not true, it can make us feel annoyed and that we want to stop it. Unfortunately we cannot always change how people think of us but we can try and be kind and show that you are not bitter. I think that kindness is something that can help to influence people to not be scared of us or hold a grudge. If it is something that is making you feel anxious or unsafe though, it is very important to talk to someone for support and advice. Listeners on here cannot give advice but we are happy to listen and support you. :)