Why can't I learn to open up to people?

opening up is a process, and definitely not an easy one; it takes trust, patience and time; three things people seem to be running extremely low on these days. in a world of such high connectivity, ironically a lot of us have found ourselves feeling more alone emotionally than ever so take a deep breath and slow it down if you must; it's in all those baby steps that build up your self confidence strong enough to chip those walls down, bit by bit, brick by brick but let me remind you again; flowers can't bloom until they learn to open up - so give yourself all the time you need to blossom; beautifully, as you were destined to be 💛

Because we are scared, anxious. Afraid of their judgment and their inability of understanding others. Also one of the problems can be our fear of being left. We all have our own comfort zone built upon our own fears and we are so tightly connected to our own zone, I would say glued to it. But there is no "can't" option in life, you must learn how to open and to whom you should open as well to whom not to open. But everything is in our head so we need to clear things with ourselves before going out. Keep it up mate!

Opening up can be really difficult. A lot of times we open up to the people who we love or some people feel comfortable to open up with strangers but no matter what the situation is, sometimes it's just hard to trust the person whom we are talking to or maybe the fear of being judged or maybe it's about having a habit of bottling up your feelings or maybe you just don't like to make the conversation about you! Opening up could be really hard so it's okay to take your time to trust the person to who you are talking and making the conversation about yourself. It's pretty clear that this question was being asked because a need of opening up was felt and a lot of times acknowledging our own feelings is something that helps us to take the next steps!

Opening up to people can be really tough, especially if we have a history of trauma, distrust, manipulation, violation or dismissal. It can often be rooted in childhood wounds. For example, if you shared an uncomfortable feeling with a parent when you were a child, and they responded by dismissing your feelings and telling you that you’re being dramatic, or to get over yourself, etc. you could internalize that response and begin to believe that your feelings aren’t valid, thus you will suppress and not feel them. This can happen with any kind of relationship, but it often starts in early childhood and during your developmental years. I encourage you to identify the feeling(s) that come with trying to open up, and questioning what it is that makes you uncomfortable about doing so! Once you identify those unhealed wounds, it’s about healing them.

The fact that you are unable to open up to people has become a learned behavior that the brain has associated with something unpleasant experience It is a way of trying to protect yourself from an unsafe or vulnerable place. A means to protect your emotions from rejection or negative responses from others. It also is a handicap to us by locking us in from the world. and cutting off our ability to meet new people being because of fear of rejection and or being hurt. It takes practice to change this and a willingness to dive in and take the risk. You might be surprised at your results. We can not guard our emotions from others because we are in control of our own emotions. So working on changing the way we think or working through why we feel as we do will help us to come to a better understanding on why we are afraid to be vulnerable to others. Our guard comes down and we stand raw that is not easy it takes practice.

The first step towards opening up people is to listen actively them. There are three types of listening. First is passive listening in which you just give slight attention to verbal words. Second is active listening where you actively pay attention to the other side. And the third is global listening where while paying attention to the verbal communication of other side, you also notice the non verbal signs , like body language, expression etc. When you do global listening you get a better idea of what the other side actually want to convey and then revert accordingly. This way you connect with them

Thank you for reaching out! I can really hear you are interested in sharing more about yourself with other people and can understand that it takes a great deal of trust to do so. The reasons some find it difficult to open up can vary and may require you to ask yourself why it seems to hard to open to begin with. Ask yourself if it’s because of anxiety or a negative experience that has become an conditioned fear (e.g. parental, environmental influence) of letting someone enter into you circle of people. As human beings we have this intense desire to feel accepted and want to “fit in.” Ask yourself if you have a fear of being rejected. During the hunter/gathering period, when we are alone our odds of survival were greatly decreased. Simply being in a large group meant we had a chance of survival. Has any experience of bullying shaped your reluctance or difficulty to open up to people? You may want to explore what factors have helped you trust in the past and what factors have betrayed your trust? What really is getting in the way of you opening up to people? Which people are you finding difficult to develop that openness with (e.g. friends, family, boyfriend/girlfriend , partner, spouse, new friends, colleagues)? Once you know what stands in the way of you opening up to people you can grow and learn from your interactions and insecurities and fear of rejection you have. It’s important to finally ask yourself what openness is to you. How often do you share your vulnerabilities and expect others to do so in your life? You are welcome to communicate with any one of our listeners on our site to further explore your thoughts and feelings without any judgement. Know that being your true, authentic self can be scary due to fear of rejection but that way people will know the real you. Take small, tiny steps but don’t push yourself too much.

Sometimes it's hard to open up because we spent most of our lives without a person we find trustable and understanding enough to confide in. First impressions really do matter and if somebody has shut you down in the past, you are unlikely to ever confide in them again. Other times it's because we feel embarrassed or do not want to be judged. However, opening up is the first step towards relief. It is human nature to seek understanding and companionship in our struggles. Remember that it is okay to open up, even if it is to a stranger.

One of the reasons why you may struggle to open up to people is due to past experiences. Not being able to open up to people could be a trauma response. You fear that if you open up to someone, they will use that information to hurt you somehow, so you don't over share because it makes things easier. I have gone through deceit myself. I dated a guy for 5 months and turned out he had a long-term girlfriend the entire time. That wasn't the first time I have been cheated on or lied to, but what made this situation worse and built up trust issues is that many of my friends knew about it and no one told me. For a long time, I didn't want to open up to people or even talk to people. But, after a while, it was a very lonely feeling. I slowly started incorporating myself more socially and opening up myself and taking those chances of getting hurt, but I am stronger for it!

Because you think of so many things that are not really relevant. You feel that you can't trust the person or the person will judge you for an unknown reason. It's at the moment you let go of those scary thoughts, thoughts that the person will use it against you, thought that it's plain useless and wasting of your precious time. When you leave those thoughts, that's when you'll be truly free. Actively sharing your problems, releases the burden on your side. You be more happy and healthier. You learn to trust others more and those thoughts might eventually fade away.