What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Sometimes it's difficult to realise your self worth, as the negativity around you can sabotage your whole life. Others can not understand the emotions and more than the others it's your inner critic that keeps on giving you a negative self talk. And to top it all now a days even social media might force a perception about perfection into the mind making you feel at the bottom of everything. Human beings have a need of validation, this makes us believe we are not good enough if someone doesn't approve of us. The good news is that you are not alone because everyone goes through this phase. Right now you only need to focus on your emotions and take the first step to build your self confidence. The best way to do that is by surrounding yourself with you loved ones, parents, partner or children. They can see in you the amazing person that you can't see. So, the right thing to do now is to take a small break from all the chaos that is building up in your mind. These chaos can be resorted only through communication, and if communication with family doesn't help you, therapy can also work wonders. At the end of the day, if your mind is healthy and blooming then only you can create healthy relationships. Please remember you are a strong person and you are loved.

Human beings often have an internal voice (though some individuals only think in pictures) which can easily influence their whole life. Did you know that we modeled how we talk to ourselves on the way adults (parents, teachers…) used to address us when we were children? When we grow up loved and surrounded by healthy relationships, our brain has received the information needed to express self-love to ourselves. With encouragement (“You can do it, good luck!”) and comfort ( “You didn’t win, yet you still had a good time!”) during negative emotions such as fear or disappointment, our internal communication reminds us of our self-worth within the moments challenging our self-confidence. Alas, not everyone benefits from a healthy environment when growing up. Any form of abuse, neglect, or bullying... from family members or influential individuals from our childhood can set negative self-talk that plays our inner critic instead of helping us manage our emotions. It is the real reason some individuals may seem to you as if to them it was effortless to do the right thing and have success and happiness in their lives while you feel stuck sabotaging yourself with self-doubt. The good news is : it's possible to become this partner for yourself who tells you that you are good enough and reminds you of the great things you did or the amazing person you are. In therapy, developing this cheering voice isn’t just the best way to never feel like you are not good enough for someone. At the end of the day it also enables you to become a better person, more aware of your inner mechanisms, and more supportive of others’ successes. A first step to improving your self-esteem could be to reframe your thoughts the next time you see something on social media that makes you feel like you’re not good enough. For example, when I witness someone’s success I can feel sad as my internal voice reminds me immediately of my failures. So I close my eyes, relax my body by breathing slowly and allow myself to feel sad that no one was celebrating my successes with me when I was little, nor comforting me when I failed. I picture my adult self standing by my inner child and hugging her, giving her the emotional response I should have had as a child.

Remember, that you did your best, to help. Please do not worry, if you could not help them. Remember, you cannot help everyone. So keep that in mind. Remember, there will be other people you can help. Do not worry about helping everyone. If you only help, one person, it is worth it. Why? Because in this world of ours, we some times act like, we are the only ones who can help. Which is not true. Anyone on any day, can help each other. For some people, your going to be a good fit for. For others you will not be a good fit for. So please keep that in mind. I hope this answers your questions,

I know it's normal and it's ok. I'll try to calm myself down and try to accept myself. I can't fit in something that isn't for me but the world is big enough to have enough options for me. Sometimes it can be hard to accept me as I am. Fortunately, I can understand what I need to support my feelings. It can be hard when we compare ourselves to social media. We couldn't gain what our parents want, some people compare us face to face, the relationship failure and more. I can take care of myself and understand myself better than any human does. I know what is best for me.

Whether it is to our friends, partner, parents, children, or other family members, we sometimes may feel like we are not good enough. Many people can relate to this. The curated content in social media may also affect our self-esteem negatively. We are all human beings. Even the most amazing person can struggle with self-confidence and feeling inadequate if their inner voice says so. The good news is our negative feelings do not always reflect reality. We may feel inadequate, but perhaps the real reason is the loud inner critic inside us, not because we are inadequate. We do not have to feel this way our whole life. We can certainly work towards building a healthy relationship with ourselves so that we feel enough. The best way to do this is through cultivating self-love. Great things can happen when we love who we are. What matters the most is you love yourself and enjoy being who you are. Others' perceptions of us should not come before our love for ourselves. The first step is to recognise that our self-worth is not tied to anything. We are enough just as we are. We are much more than our thoughts and feelings. We are much better than what our self-doubt and negative self-talk say, so we should be confident in our own skin. Self-confidence means "knowing who I am, liking who I am, and wanting to lift others with me." It is helpful to remember there is no upper limit to being a good person; what matters is we keep striving to grow. Reflection is a tool to become a better and better version of ourselves. It is also important to remember that we want to be a better person for ourselves, first and foremost. We want to feel enough for ourselves, not to fulfil someone else’s expectations. If we want to be good enough for person A while person B wants something different, this can cause an identity crisis. If we have no stable sense of identity, will we be happy? Moreover, maintaining healthy communication with ourselves is essential. We should be careful with how we talk to ourselves; we do not want to give more power to the cognitive distortions that say we are not good enough. This is why positive self-affirmations can be a powerful tool for healthy self-esteem. Therapy is another option if we need professional help. Therapists can give us more useful information according to our specific situations. At the end of the day, though, therapy is not always available or accessible for everyone. I hope this helps you figure out the next right thing to do to feel good enough. Good luck, and I hope you have a good time through the process of accepting and loving yourself, whoever you are.

Its normal to feel like you are not good enough for someone- A question to ask yourself and be mindful about is whether or not you put that particular person on a pedestal (do you idolise them and think they can do no wrong?). The other side of the argument could be the viewpoint that when we partner with someone who lowers our self-esteem, we can develop negative self-worth towards ourselves be it appearance, status, education, relational skills. With the popularity of social media we can feel like we fall short of what society considers ideal (e.g. the ideal man, woman, car, house, college/university etc). If you have ever found yourself backing someone up and saying no to mistreatment of others then why not to yourself? Self care is important and once we neglect this we cannot give our all. Remembering that we are mere human beings and we feel emotions could unlock great things within us can send the message to others and to ourselves that we have something to offer. The good news is that we can always work on ourselves to become a better person if we are willing to make fair changes. At the end of the day do you choose to let others opinions (good or bad) impact you? Does your body language or way of speaking communicate to others you dont feel worthy? You are welcome to chat with one of our listeners to explore your confidence and what triggers that internal dialogue in your mind that you aren't good enough. The best way to overcome could be self-love; being kind to ourselves is the first step towards building healthy relationships. You deserve the chance to build healthy relationships with yourself and others. As the famous proverb says: "You cannot serve from an empty cup."

My thoughts on the first step on what to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone would be to speak to your parents and other family members, if possible. At the end of the day, they have known you your whole life and might be able to boost your self-confidence and tell you what an amazing person you are. It’s far too easy when looking at things like social media to fall prey to self-doubt and let your inner critic have a voice. Human beings have always had a way of being too critical and not using communication effectively, but the good news is that you can do great things without needing anyone’s approval. Believe in yourself and you will see that the real reason you were feeling that you weren't good enough is because you care! You will do the right thing. Smile and step forward - you got this! Good luck!

When you do not feel good enough for someone this could be because you have taken a moment to reflect and notice your values/beliefs and the other individuals values/beliefs are not aligned. Not feeling good enough can stem from trauma and can personally have nothing to do with you as a person. It can be very important to ask yourself the extent to which you put others on a pedestal and vice versa. Its easy to be shaped nowadays by societal ideals of perfection (e.g. the ideal look, occupation, goals, dreams, accolades) when in reality all human beings are imperfect and have trauma they are working on healing. Treat yourself as human and not invincible - please continue to be gracious with yourself because at the end of the day you are doing the very best that you can even though it does not seem like it. You are welcome to chat 1-1 with one of our listeners to receive emotional support in a safe space.

It is easy to doubt one's self-worth if you grew up exposed to negative feedback about who you are as a person. Negative feedback can blur the reality that everyone has strengths and weaknesses that help create their uniqueness as an individual. It can be hard not to label these attributes as good or bad, however practicing staying non-judgemental will help look at these attributes in a more objective way. Ask yourself, what are my strengths? What do my strengths bring to the table when it comes to relationships? How do my strengths compensate for any areas that might need work? You can use affirmations to help build self-esteem, they are simple daily reminders either placed in a journal or on post-its that identify positive characteristics about the self. You can ask people in your environment, whether they be co-workers, friends, family, church members, what they think your strengths are, so you get direct feedback from those you trust. Reversing negative internal dialog takes work, but it is possible. Surrounding yourself with positive reinforcers will help break down the built-up negative Identity into one that is more flexible, feels acceptable, and increases confidence. I hope your journey of self-discovery leads you to feeling more comfortable perceiving yourself as an asset in relationships.

A lot of people struggle with feeling like they are not good enough for someone. Although really common, this untrue feeling of inadequacy doesn’t come naturally. It generally stems from various factors such as low self-esteem, past trauma, childhood experiences, rejections, insecurities, and several other reasons. Sometimes, inaccurate information provided on the internet or social media can also cause you to question your self-worth and raise your self-doubt. The first step is to acknowledge your emotions; to understand that it’s absolutely okay to feel how you are feeling, and to sit with those emotions. Generally, this feeling of not being enough brings with it a lot of thoughts that clutter our minds, and the best way to deal with it is to take a step back and breathe for a moment. Once you’re ready, try to dive deep into the root cause by reflecting on your feelings and trying to take one thought at a time. Understanding the reason behind how you are feeling is a very significant step. Try to calm down your inner critic; the inner voice that criticizes you into feeling this way; and find your triggers. Every person has their own strengths and flaws, but sometimes, negative self-talk can cause you to focus only on the flaws, ultimately making you feel inadequate. It’s extremely important to challenge self-criticism while acknowledging your strengths and practicing self-love. Treat yourself with the same level of kindness that you give to any other amazing person; this could be a big step towards establishing self-confidence. Open communication is crucial in any relationship, whether it's with your parents, partner, children, or any other family member. Although it might be a little challenging at first, communicating clearly and trying to spend good time together can also contribute to building healthy relationships. Additionally, therapy can also be beneficial for one's own personal growth and development. At the end of the day, we are just human beings. Slow down; be a little more patient with yourself; taking a little more time is totally a right thing to do. Help yourself by setting small goals and taking small steps every day in order to improve yourself and become a better person.