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Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?

Profile: Brettlstar
Brettlstar on Sep 28, 2014
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I wonder what you are feeling at the time when you see his pictures and stories? its not uncommon to want to know what the ex is doing but really it comes down to why. Are you still in love with them ? Do you want to try and get back together ? Are you jealous they might have found someone or are happy ? really I think right now its a good idea to focus on you rather than the ex and decide what you want in your life, and perhaps start making some plans for that direction
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Profile: emidee
emidee on Jan 1, 2016
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This is totally normal, but extremely harmful to your own mental health. The problem with social media is that we only put our best, happiest and brightest moments. We are particularly susceptible to harm of this effect when we ourselves are in a bad place because we get an extremely skewed perspective that everyone else is 'so much happier and more together'. Breakups are really tough for everyone, but they can also be the most perfect and beautiful excuse to be a little selfish and just focus on you and what makes you happy. Take advantage of this wonderful opportunity and you'll be surprised at how much you can love yourself when you learn how great you can be :)
Profile: saltywhale
saltywhale on Dec 30, 2015
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do it if you want to. do as much as you want and one day you'll get bored and realise this is so nonsense and that will be the same day his name doesn't effect you anymore.
Profile: SillyFrenchFemme
SillyFrenchFemme on Sep 16, 2014
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It will cause you stress, and you will keep your mind on your ex-partner and their behavior. In my experience, if you don't give yourself a break from this, it will be much harder to get over the break-up. The best thing you can do for you to heal is to go 'no-contact'. Ask your friends not to discuss your ex with you, remove/block any notifications from them, block yourself from being able to look at their online life. Do this for at least a month or so to give yourself the chance to heal some more. It will be very tempting to contact them, but isn't it more important that you can get past this? Good luck and take care! You can do it!
Profile: Blue1
Blue1 on Sep 16, 2014
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No, it just brings up old feelings and doesn't allow you to move on from the relationship. Seeing what they're up to every once and awhile is fine, especially if you are still friends. Otherwise, it just makes the breakup more difficult for you.
Profile: PippaCalisto
PippaCalisto on Mar 19, 2015
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It's normal to still want to feel connected to the person you spent so much time with. Many of us have resorted to spying on an ex significant other or friend in order to be close and keep lookout. Going from being the first to know something to the last is hard to adjust to. It hurts to think of them moving on, but it feels even worse when we witness it. Think about your emotional and mental health and reassess whether or not this is something you should keep doing. Although, by asking this question, it seems like you may already know the answer.
Profile: JulieDarling
JulieDarling on Oct 25, 2014
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Always keeping up with what they are doing will only cause you more pain. It's best to just try your best to let go even if it feels like you are going to die. Think about it, out of sight out of mind. If you don't keep up with them, then you won't know what they are doing, and therefore it will save you a lot of tears and pain.
Profile: Noel24
Noel24 on Oct 4, 2014
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After my last break up i did that as well but I learned that by doing that I wasn't moving on. I might have even seen some things I didn't want to see and wouldn't have seen if I wasn't spying.
Profile: Majoss
Majoss on Oct 4, 2014
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Do you think its helping you? To bring sadness to yourself its not a good idea, its bad for you, dont you think?
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You shouldn't be spying on your ex. If you want to speak to him or try and see how hes doing, why dont you take a chance and talk to him in person? It couldnt hurt to try and be friends with him :)
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