I broke up with him even though I do love him and he loves me. I had to! How can I move on from someone I can't find a reason to hate?

That's not so much how much you love or don't love somebody but you have to look at whether or not the chemistry between the two of you is something that becomes toxic to you and prevents you from either achieving happiness or from reaching goals that are important to you that you have set for yourself. If somebody is not giving you that which you need in order to continue to be happy and successful, then regardless of why you feel you may love or hate them, or any feeling within the gamut of that, you have to realize that distance or even disengagement from that person is the proper course of action. If you allow toxicity to change who you are and how you are just in order to hang on to them, then that is not a loving relationship... It is merely codependency and codependency will never provide you with any measure of security or happiness.

If your needs to break up with him is more reasonable than you loving him than i would support your decision.i’ve been in a similar position and from my experience as long as this decision doesn’t affect your future then there’s no need to be afraid of feeling regret. It’s normal to feel despair/loneliness and it’s okay! We just need to learn how to cope or even better deal with that kind of emotion, just don’t i repeat do not give in to any negative feeling that relates to your break up. You can talk to me if you want to hear my advice since we’ve been in a similar situation after all.

Breaking up with a significant other does not mean that you do not love him. Or that he doesn’t love you. Sometimes you outgrow people and both are moving towards different life goals. You don’t have to hate him to move on. Keep yourself busy, confide in close people in your life. Get a hobby. Sometimes it’s best to leave a relationship especially if it’s something you feel you “have” to do. Just break up on good terms, you never know what the future has in store for the both of you. This could eventually be a good thing. When one door closes another opens.

It can be hard to break up with those we love. Love is a strong emotion and gives us many reasons to not want to see it die. We all seek connection to others in a meaningful way, you are not alone in this. I too have also left those i loved because it felt like the right thing to do at the time. It is painful and confusing, and can seem like you have made a mistake. Why did you feel you had to end the relationship, and Why do you find it so difficult to move on?

Ask yourself if the relationship you were in had a future. Go down the memory lane and revisit the times when you had fights with him. Ask yourself why you two came to the point of break up. You'll find your answer.

Getting over someone is never easy. I do not know exactly the circumstance of your break up (or your relationship), but there was a sentence I heard in a talk, that helped me a lot by putting things in a different perspective. The message was, ‘You don’t move on, you move forward.’ Which I think is a really important difference. This person will always be part of your life story and that is okay. Maybe there is no need to find a reason to hate him, it’s probably okay to allow yourself to keep the nice memory you have and move forward whenever you are ready. By acknowledging your feelings, reflecting on them, understanding them you will be ready to take the next step.

Of course you can't find any reason to hate him. You love him. Now you're trying to erase him because it's easier than resenting him. But you shouldn't. Embrace the fact the he was once there for you. Remember him as someone that helped you to grow. Accept the fact that probably, this is not the time for you to meet "the one". And if he is "the one", you'll meet him again in the future. For now, you can focus on what's on your plate. You can try to love yourself more to replace the love he gave you. Believe that you'll find a way to find happiness. And if you truly love him, his happiness shall be yours too. Vice versa.

I relate to this one a lot- I had a big and bad experience very similar to this just earlier this year and honestly all I had to do was get to know him! I soon learnt that he wasn't perfect at all, even if I don't hate him, and I figured out why we wouldn't work anyway. You don't need to hate him, just find some reasons why you wouldn't work out. And one thing that will help that is space away from the person. I took some time, from him and later another guy, and it helps a whole lot.

You don't have to hate someone in order to move on. You let time take its course to heal and calm your emotions. Take the time you used to spend together and try something new. Grab a book, listen to music, go for a run, or try a new recipe. I often find myself testing new baking methods after a breakup. I can put some real love and energy into my baking and sharing it with others and watching them enjoy something I create is such a great feeling. Spend more time with friends, family, and even just yourself.

I guess the only way you can move on from him is to remember why you broke up with him in the first place! I can see that you’re still in love with him and hence you’re conflicted. I can’t imagine how much hurt and pain one has to go through leaving someone who he or she still has feelings for. But since you had to leave him for a specific reason, I suppose that’s the only reason you can have to move on from him. If you’re comfortable, please engage a listener when you need someone to talk to! All the best.