I broke up with him even though I do love him and he loves me. I had to! How can I move on from someone I can't find a reason to hate?
Anonymous
on
Jul 28, 2016
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I understand you had to break up with him despite loving him. Can you please help me understand the reason you initiated this break up?
Breakups can be hard
introvertedandlonely96
on
May 2, 2018
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I had to do the same thing recently. We both loved each other, but there were signs it was unhealthy because of fighting. We were best friends and I miss him terribly, but if something in your gut tells you that you need to end it, you have to listen to your gut. There is a reason you broke up, and in time you will be glad you followed your instincts.
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charmingDreamer61
on
Aug 7, 2016
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I know how you feel, sometimes we have to move on as the situation demands it and we don't get one valid to do so because we love the person so much and we don't want to leave them. But we have to focus on what's coming and where we want to go. look at the facts and what happens if we don't move on. It doesn't mean we don't the love the person It's just that we have to be away for sometime. That's it, with time everything seems to fall in the right place.
I think this should help, let me know your thoughts about it.Thank you
Anonymous
on
Jul 27, 2016
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You don't have to hate someone to move on. Sometimes, relationships end because both people aren't compatible, no matter how much you love each other. With time and supportive people around you, you'll move on.
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PhilosophicalSailes
on
Feb 9, 2018
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Not all breakups have to end in a battle of epic proportions. Sometimes they just come to an end and this is ok, we are all different with UNIQUE situations that no online forum, chat, article, and/or video can sooth completely.
I think the best thing to do is ask yourself “Why do I need negative in order to be positive? Why can't we just be who we are, aware of each other, and still live life peacefully?â€, Nowhere is it written that in order for you to move on to the next thing in life, you must first feel negativity toward it. If that were true, every song we listen to on the radio, every text we read or every milestone in life would be so upsetting that we will never look forward to a future. What a sad life that must be.
I say stay positive and keep looking forward. Its ok to still love what you had, but it's important to keep looking forward and not burning bridges. If you stay positive and they did as well, imagine a future where you two meet again, it would be a beautiful reconnection without fear, anger or resentment.
And who knows, maybe the second time around will be better than the first. Because you were positive, you gave your self the opportunity to have the choice and that is a better outcome then the latter, isn’t it?
Anonymous
on
Jul 30, 2016
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Well you have to ask yourself, did you only break up with him because, in your eyes, he was too good to be in reality with?
Anonymous
on
Nov 19, 2017
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Very carefully. You have to look at it like that game we all played as a kid, what was it? Janga. That's it. Don't remove the blocks too fast, or it'll crash and the slightest move will land you right back in each other's arms. It'l feel great in the moment, but afterwards, all the reasons you had to break up will still be there.
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BIllyKaplan
on
Sep 23, 2016
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Sometimes we feel very strong feelings for someone who we are just not compatible with in a relationship. It is a tough process to go through but with the right support system (friends and family) one can overcome these challenges. No one is the same , we all work in a different way and we all connect with people in a different way. Sometimes when we have strong feelings for someone we automatically assume that that person was made to be our boyfriend or girlfriend without realising that sometimes that person is in our life to teach us something different or to be a friend. The fact you love him just shows how caring you are even though you had to break up with him. It just shows how genuinely caring you are to still be thinking of not only your feeling but his too.
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Ariana1214
on
Aug 7, 2016
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You have to find closure within yourself for that relationship. You don't have to hate him to realize you guys aren't right for each other. Mourn the loss of the relationship, unfriend him on everything and start to live your life again. Pick up activities you haven't in awhile. Focus on work/friends/self care/school.
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Omar
on
Jul 10, 2016
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i had to breakup with gf because our families didnt accept our relationships, the way i got closure isnt by hating her, because i dont hate her, its just accepting it. I guess you have to accept that sometimes there are things that are out of your hand, and this is for the better. Just gotta wish that one day even though it will hurt you, they find someone who will love them like you did. So my answer is dont try to find a reason to hate them,because that will ruin the image you have of them in your head, just accept that it happened and even thought its hard to imagine, but one day you will move on and find someone who is also great for you :).
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RayannA
on
Feb 4, 2018
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You don't have to hate your ex to move on. You can still love them and want the best for them, but sometimes we just aren't good for each other. take your time in being sad over the loss, but always remember you left for a reason. whatever it is, hold on to that reason and find a way to make peace with your decision.
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ErinEnders
on
Feb 21, 2018
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Try to reconsider the reasons of the break up. Are they logical and realistic enough? What would you think about this in a couple of years? Would these reasons still be valid after, let's say, 5 years, if you look back?
Make sure that you will not regret the decision in the future, because true, mutual love is hard to find, and you can find yourself yearning for things you had in the past but took for granted.
In case your reasons are realistic and you really had to break up, set up your mind to think that this is the best for both of you, and try to concentrate on things you are passionate about, on improving yourself and on planning ahead, rather than dwelling in the past. It will be hard for a while, and this is why you need a strong motivation to break up. Take care!
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uniquecreature41
on
Jul 2, 2016
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It's not true that time is a healer, it's how you feel that time that counts. Sitting in your room, pining for your ex for 6 months after your break up won't go too much towards helping you get over that person. Forcing yourself out into the world will, specially if you make the best effort you can to occupy your time. You also need to remember that some relationships aren't meant to be, even if the person seems right. It might be that you need to accept this and make a concerted effort to find someone you don't have to move on from.
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Spiced52
on
Jun 23, 2016
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This is what I am going through at this time in my life. The only advise I can offer you is to take it one day at a time. Although you may love each other you can still be toxic to each other. If you really love them and care for them you must find a way to let them go.
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Darcee
on
Jul 9, 2016
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Hate is a poor motivator for almost any life altering decisions. It's implies an emotional attachment that clouds intelligent decision-making. Move on with love in your heart. Your steps will be surer.
Anonymous
on
Jan 15, 2020
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You move on by just moving on...
It's a straightforward & simple act. What's not simple is the pain involved.
But really, truth is, pain is just part of the process.
You can't have the results without the struggle. You can't have the progress without the process. You can't have the victory without the fight.
If you don't play don't expect to win.
Adopt pain as a self-improvement tool. This is very assistive in a lot of life's aspects.
When you get good at feeling bad, in other words you master how to bear pain, you'll be unstoppable.
Desiring negative experiences in the hope of prospering as a human will always serve you good
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Lylelistener123
on
Aug 4, 2016
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You don't have to hate someone to break up with them, you just don't need to love them anymore, try becoming friends again just by messaging them and talk in things through
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magicalLily72
on
Feb 22, 2018
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If you love him a lot and you didn't find any reason to break-up, Just cherish him.. Finding a lovable person is very difficult. Luckily You got that!
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violetPotion
on
Feb 16, 2017
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You broke with him for a reason which for sure you decided will be better for you. Now it's time to prove to yourself that you were right and go on with living your life to the max until you meet the right person for you
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positivebag1
on
Jul 20, 2016
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If you don't have a reason to hate him, then love the moments when you were together. If your story was all a fairytale, then you wouldn't be broken up. Make a list with all was wrong in this relationship and consider all points as lessons you have learnt. Everything is happening on purpose.