How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.

Closure is something that many people search for and never find. You may never find closure from your ex but coming to terms that the relationship is over is the first step to closure with yourself.

One thing that I know has helped me in the past is actually getting together with my ex to discuss what happened. Make sure that this is in a public place so that there is little chance of verbal or physical abuse, even if this was not an issue during the relationship. Discuss calmly what happened, why it happened, and that you are not entirely over it.

Sit down with them and tell them that you need closure. It's best to be straight-forward and honest because if you are honest about wanting closure, he/she is going to feel comfortable with giving you closure

If you can talk to your ex then sit down and tell them what you need. If you cannot, if it would hurt too much or if they aren't interested in talking then sit down and write a letter to your ex and then one to yourself about what you'd like to say and what you'd like to know. You may or may not have your ex involved but you can purge yourself of all your feelings and emotions, write it out, read it and then put it away for another time when you feel you need to see it or burn it. Just get it all out.

Dealing with an closure from an ex is difficult and takes time but it's possible, accept the change and realize things are now different between the two of you as a first step and remember it's okay to cry and be upset about this. Then once you can accept this, try to either pick up a new hobby or continue on in one you already enjoy to fill the time or space that was put aside for the significant other who is no longer in your life. Next you should establish some new goals, like meeting someone new or starting a new job for a positive change in your life or simply a clean slate to begin again with.

It's something between the two of you and what had happened. Talk together if you both want or decide to maybe schedule a time to talk. Remember you can always be friends with an ex but of course its your choice in life what you decide to do. If you ex needs time, then respect that as well because some people need time. They say time heals and for some people it does while others it don't. Just don't demand anything from your ex.

Depending on what the situations is or was.. Is it safe to see them and get the needed closure? If it isn't write a letter. For me closure was something sometimes hard to get. I had a great boyfriend in 2011/2012. He talked to my dad about marriage and proposal. He was the ideal guy! He got physically abusive with me. Not even a week later he broke up with me on social media! (Days before my birthday and less than a week til our 1 year anniversary). I took it hard. Once I moved on and was engaged I knew I couldnt give my then fiance my whole heart til I had closure. So I go to visit. Probably the worst thing to do but it made me feel better knowing his family missed me. He wasn't there to talk to. But his mom helped me get the closure I needed. Then a few months afterwards my then fiance cheated and broke up with me. It hurt and I needed closure all over again. But didn't seek it with that relationship. Sometimes closure can do more damage. Just make sure you are safe and okay.

From personal experience, I'd say just talk to them about it. Be straightforward, but reassure them that you will not force them back into a relationship. If they agree, please allow them their space and avoid comments that might indicate you still need the relationship. I'd met with my ex a couple of times after the breakup. It was a hard, but with each meeting, his behavior made it easier for me to push myself away from him. I believe it isn't so much your ex that helps you get closure; it is your belief and perspective that changes and allows you to accept that relationship is over.

Sometimes we think we need closure from someone else to be able to move on. In reality, even if we say all the things we need to say, we will never get the response from that person that we think we need. Closure needs to come from us in the realisation that that person is not what we thought they were. The realisation that they will never make us feel better can be just what we need.

Try to talk to that person how you feel. Also, it is important to respect their space. Do think through what you are going to say and think about how you would feel if someone said that to you.