How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.

Not having closure from your ex can be a daunting and lingering feeling, and from my experience I decided to not ask in order to keep good relations. But, I do believe that asking for closure is something you should listen to your gut for; if you think it is appropriate to ask, do so. If not, wait until you feel you can. You may even find that you don't need it after a while.

Personally, I find closure in just knowing that I am going to get through it and that this does not mean life is over. Burn a few pictures, read a book, and start working on the real you!

I don't know if closure exists. I think we all have our own idea of what closure means- Do you want to find out why? or who? or what? Ask yourself what closure actually means. If you feel like you found your answer and you need it, you should communicate that to your ex. Get to the bottom of it and ask for what you need. The most important thing here is to ask for what YOU need and what YOU want. Not the other person. Maybe look at it as "feedback" for your next relationship or where you think you can change and help yourself but you have to be prepared if it doesn't go your way, or the answer is not what you want to hear.

What I did was write a letter that I would never send. I wrote a letter to my ex stating everything I felt I wanted to say to him but couldn't. I forgave him for the awful treatment he gave me, and I learned to forgive and forget. I also deleted all photos and videos I had with him and I blocked his number and all accounts on social media - this way when I did have the urge to contact him there was no way I could. I put all of his clothes that he left at my house in a bag and I donated all of them. I got closure, not from my ex, but from myself.

Try asking yourself what are you trying to get from them. Will you be disappointed with what their answers are to your questions? I think it's really important to think about what we're trying to get from conversations and find positive people in our support systems that can help with that. From personal experience, I felt I needed closure from a 3 year long relationship. I did speak with the person, but they were not saying what I expected to here. It did not make me feel better at all. However, it is understood that every relationship is unique.

I understand your sentiment and I respect it. When a relationship ends, it causes us to feel and experience different kinds of emotions, a mix of both positive and negative ones. If the relationship ended on a confusing note, seeking closure might give us a sense of completeness. We seek closure because we derive meaning out of it. We have some questions and thoughts in our mind that we wish to address and we feel that they would be best answered that way, hence putting our mind at ease and allowing us to finally move forward. If you seek closure and the relationship did not end brutally or on a particularly negative note, it is alright to ask your ex for just a meet up or even a call, where you discuss what exactly happened and why they happened the way they did. It is called a "closure conversation". Before that though, it is important to think through what are your goals for this meeting, how you'd want to achieve them and also, embracing the possibility that the conversation might not exactly go according to plan. With this in mind, you can approach your ex and then, proceed. However, if the relationship was abusive or toxic, it might not be very helpful to have this conversation. It will only amplify the pain and confusion and I say this from personal experience. In this case, it is important for you to seek closure within your own self. If it is needed and you require support to recover from the ill effects of this relationship, please access all your support systems and go for therapy. It helps in processing of traumatic information and will help you rebuild yourself.

The reason you do not have closure with your ex, is because the fear you have which propelled you into the relationship in the first place has not been worked with yet. The fear still rules and thus you feel incomplete without your ex. We all were born whole and complete, only the conditioning from those who modeled for us in our youth have lasting effects if we do not work with them. Getting closure from your ex is working on yourself from within to discover why you are still searching for someone else to complete you. There is work left to be done. The uncomfortable feeling you have is pointing to inner work for you to do. What fear are you avoiding and wanting the presence of the ex to fix in you?

Closure starts with you. I feel the most successful road to closure is by first working on yourself. Do some deep introspective work and listen to your feelings. Let yourself process them by journaling and write a redemption narrative to show yourself how strong you are. Learn to love yourself first. Once you feel that you are ready, reach out to your ex. It's okay to have a conversation and ask for closure. You can ask why things ended the way they did and be comfortable with whatever feelings come up. Once you get those all out, end it amicably.

You get closure from within, never from another person. When u realize and accept that you are worthy of respect and loyality (nothing less than that) and you are complete in yourself, then you don't feel a need for any explanation, a final talk, or a closure. The hardest part of this process is that, it takes a long time to heal completely, to learn how to take time to intellectually check a person and then decide if the other person is worthy of your time and emotions as a partner. Seeking a closure from other person, seldom makes you feel healed or peaceful.

I'm a huge fan of writing letters you never send, or even those that you do. Depending on the terms that you ended things on, even getting those feelings out onto paper as opposed to keeping them inside can provide release. I know I have had experiences where both methods have worked for me. Also knowing that sometimes you may not get closure, as I have been on that end of the stick too, is important. It's a 2 party process, so you both have to agree it is in the cards, but you could maybe do a mock break up with a trusted friend?