Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how?

If this is greatly affecting your mental health and your relationship it is understandable that you wouldn't want them to talk anymore. I think firstly you should think about why this is bothering you - is the ex giving you reasons to believe they may want to cause problems in your relationship? Is your s/o someone who would keep in touch with an ex if they are on good terms or is this unusual? I've had the same issue with my boyfriend and I think the best thing to do is tell them exactly how you feel. If you trust that they wouldn't do anything unfaithful to you, explain that it the case but you cannot control the anxiety and negative feelings it brings you, and this is an issue you both must tackle rather than you just trying to get over it.

You can’t ask them or manipulate them or extort them into not talking with their ex. You can state that it makes you feel uncomfortable, and why, and also try to do some insight on why it makes you feel that way for real. For example, Hey I wanted to talk about something, I can’t ask you to stop seeing anyone I just want you to know whenever you see/talk with your ex I feel ____________________ because I think _________________. (And maybe something likely) I know it might be my insecurity and nothing bad might be happening I just wanted you to know how that makes me feel. But again, whoever you associate with Its your desicion and I respect that. That’s it don’t constantly repeat yourself, yes may be necessary to repeat it sometimes but not every day. Sometimes it’s hard to cut off someone even if you want to do if he’s trying just give him a bit of time. If he seems not to care about it then he’s not the one. Either you snap out of it or look for someone that thinks like you.

Simply stated, "yes". "Honesty" is crucial to the the success of any relationship. It is common for exes to remain friends, and if that portends to be detrimental, then it should be addressed; it would be unfair to all three of you if the issue is left to simmer. While the answer and logic behind it are easy, having a conversation about this issue, however necessary, will vary by partner. This issue is such that you took the time to reach out to someone who will listen ... have you listened to yourself? Yes, it is an issue, but what is your understanding of it and what about it bothers you? Ask yourself why is it imperative that he stop talking to his ex (i.e., is there too much contact, however innocuous?). Also, is timing an issue? And will there be any repercussions? You are the only who knows all of the variables, so framing the issue appropriately so that you are comfortable and relaxed going into the conversation may keep the conversation focused and lay the foundation for a productive conversation. You owe it to yourself and to him to tell the truth, and holding back only harms your relationship. Present your concern tactfully showing why it is an issue that needs to be addressed; he has a voice, too, remember, so listening is just important on your end.

Being assertive is your best choice, being assertive means there is a balance in power in the conversation while also making it go as well as possible. you can do some of this by letting your Significant other know how you are feeling about them talking to their ex. for example, 'I feel angry that you are talking to your ex because I am concerned this will affect our relationship'. by saying this you are being honest (not brutally) and telling your partner how you feel. They are likely to have empathy and are more likely to understand. Good luck!!

If it is something that is bothering you, you should tell him. The key for relationships is communication. Sit down with him and calmly express to him how him talking or associating you to his ex makes you feel. He should be able to understand and to take action about it. Tell him how and why it affects your feelings so he can understand the situation. Do not keep this to yourself, as it is going to still keep bothering you and both partners need to be able to feel comfortable in a relationship. Good luck and take care!

I think that is a fair boundary to set/ask of someone. I know some people don't mind it, but I think if my boyfriend was always hanging around with his ex, I would feel pretty uncomfortable. However, it can be a tricky subject, because it can imply some amount of distrust from you. I would try to express to your significant other that even though you trust him, you don't feel very comfortable that he talks to/associates with his ex. It's important that you each respect each other! Also keep in mind that if his ex is part of his friend group, it might be hard for him to stop associating with that person without ditching all of his friends, so maybe compromise and ask that they not hangout together one on one or not text each other one on one.

It is normal to not want to be compared with another person and especially when it concerns love stuff. You can express this to your partner by making him understand what this makes you feel (Maybe angry or jealous or insecure in your relationship) also you can show him that if you used to do the same he won't appreciate this neither and will probably ask you no to do so. I think that sometimes people act without thinking and without imagining their selfs in your position to know if their actions will hurt or bother. But don't get angry or mad without trying to crearly express your emotion to your partner

I don't believe this is the smartest move. You can ask directly to stop talking or interacting with his ex, but: a) if there's something still going on under the ashes of their previous relationship, stopping him won't prevent him to think about her and b) if there's nothing going on anymore, there's no reason to put limitations to his genuinely friendship relation. Only you can know the answer by listening to him and talking with him about what makes you feel deeply uncomfortable. Also work as much as you can on your self esteem to be even more powerful in a good way.

I guess it depends to what extent they have contact / communication and if there are children they co-parent? If not, I think its pretty reasonable to ask for your partner to not disrespect you or your relationship by continuing to be in contact with his/her ex. If he/she wants a committed trusting relationship they should understand that this can be disrespectful and even hurtful and ultimately undermines trust (which is a MUST in a relationship). Again it really depends on each individual relationship but if there is no ties there (other than they are now exes ) then yes i think it wise to say it to your partner.

It seems to me that the more important question here is "why?" Relationships are built on trust, and talking or hanging out with an ex is often seen as a breach of that trust. This is certainly so in committed and monogamous relationships. So the first question I would ask myself is, "Why does this bother me? Am I feeling a lack of trust? In my self? In my significant other?" Once I have an answer to that, I would bring that result to a conversation with them. This way it's presented not as a demand or even a request, but an opportunity to strengthen the relationship. By understanding why each of you is feeling and acting a certain way, you might find what you want to change, or you might find there is no need :)