Why do we feel the fear of rejection?

Acceptance of our fellows can be an important topic. Feeling like we are not received or understood can be a harsh ego blow.

Rejection is something that is built into humans. When we get rejected, it is superficially said as "We should stay friends." But what is really going on is that we are afraid of an insult that gets us on an extremely fundamental level. It means that you are worried that they are not interested in you as a suitable partner, and wish to wait for another partner. It also means they are not interested in procreation, and there is probably some factor(Desirable Behavior or Genes) And this really hurts us. The need to Procreate is something that all humans need on a biological level. It may sound harsh, but that is what is happening to us in a neurophysiological level.

I do not know this for a fact, but I think that we might feel the fear of rejection because by being rejected, we are basically being told that we are not good enough or that we are not what someone or something wants or is looking for. It can be hard for us to accept this, especially if we really wanted the person or thing that turned us down. It is kind of like losing your chances with someone or somthing, or at least for the time being. So, that's just my opinion, which is that we just don't want to face being told that we aren't good enough for someone or something.

If a person is a cup of water. And when that cup is filled with water, we feel complete. We know who we are. We belong somewhere with some people. We understand our hopes and dreams. We feel comforted and able to manipulate our future or our experience. If you are "rejected" and some water is taken out, its not a huge deal, because you still have a lot of water left. And if you know where to get "filled" again, Its only a moment until you are. But lets imagine a person whose glass is less than half full. They aren't sure who they are, they have little belonging in the world, maybe they feel rejected by themselves as well. So then rejection on that would destroy the glass even. Or empty it. So we fear it because we don't want even less of the stuff we have little of. Like spiders. I grew up in a country that is know for its terrifying spiders. I have only been bitten by one, but the narrative in that place is that spiders will hurt and kill. So I fear putting my hands in places I am not 100 percent sure are spider free. So if we are full of water, and wearing "spider' gloves, OR change the narrative of spiders. We fear rejection because it both does hurt in reality, and also hurts because it highlights how much we may already be rejected.

For a lot of us, rejection is a loaded term. It can mean abandonment and loneliness, or something wrong with ourselves. I believe that we as humans don’t necessarily fear rejection so strongly, but the reasons for it, specifically things that might be wrong with us. In reality, there isn’t anything wrong with us. But rejection can lead to or amplify that sense of loneliness or low self esteem, and I think that is something that we all fear. A rejection can also just be a let down, a disappointment; and that is something that a lot of people are afraid of as well. A fear of rejection is very common and very normal, but it usually comes from a place of low self worth or fear of loneliness.

Fear of rejected is same as fear of failure. We never know until we try. Moreover, there are multiple factors on everything. Expressing your love for someone ? Afraid that the person will reject, and maybe slap as well. Applying for a job where many people applied ? Afraid that there are people better than you. Well, all these things keeps passing through our minds. But hey, you never know until you try. What’s the worst thing that’s gonna happen ? Think about the worst and don’t expect anything. Fear of is just in our mind, just like all other illusions.

Fear of rejection is deeply rooted inside our brain from ancient times. It awakens a feeling of displacement inside of us and reminds ourselves of the time when survival depended on our ability to fit into a group, into a tribe, into a society. Physical rejection also reminds our brain of the impossibility to guarantee a continuation to the species. Now you can think of those patterns and feel some relief: your life , biologically speaking, doesn't depend on these factors anymore: your dating pool has widened up, your chances of finding or creating your own tribe has increased.

From an evolutionary standpoint, humans being the social creatures that they are, it was important (sometimes crucial!) for individuals to form strong bonds with one another as this helped in their survival. In particular, being in a group allowed people to gather food more efficiently and learn from each other, helping increase one's chances of survival. Therefore, it is only natural for this propensity for relationships to be passed down along generations to continue making us the social beings we are today. Nowadays, though we are typically less concerned about imminent life-threatening dangers, this instinct nevertheless serves as a sort of social compass, telling us whether our actions are helping us form bonds or not. Indeed, building solid relationships, whether it be at work, at school, or any other place you might interact with people, requires specific (and often implicit) conditions to fulfill. Therefore, at the prospect of being rejected, part of this instinct kicks in to give us the feeling that there is something wrong: if others are not accepting me right now, there must be a problem with me or I must not be doing something right. Of course, this train of thought is purely instinctual, and may not necessarily be accurate. In addition, the uncertainty of how other people will react can accentuate the fear, as rejection can sometimes imply a strong negative reaction from others that end up making us feel guilty and unwanted. Perhaps you have experienced rejection in the past as well, which has since then instilled a fear of repeating a similar experience due to all the unpleasant feelings associated with it. All in all, fear of rejection is a perfectly normal thing to feel and a lot of it can be traced back to instincts. The important thing is to not let this prevent you from forming what can potentially be one-of-a-kind relationships with others.

The fear of rejection can be caused in so many ways. Often, it's instilled in us as children- either by our peers when we are young or by our parents (intentionally or unintentionally). Therefore, it could be a problem of confidence rather than rejection. Perhaps having a look at the emotions behind rejection could help you figure out why you have the fear. Like, when a situation comes up where there's the possibility of some kind of rejection, take a minute to question the thoughts in your head. Actively try and understand what's going through your mind at that time. Understanding our fears means questioning them- trying to see what is real and what has been created in our minds, but feels real.

The fear of getting detached from your loved ones makes us to behave and act differently and sometimes makes us to hide our inner feelings. We feel the fear of rejection because we don't want to lose someone close to our heart. Sometimes we don't confess what we feel inside because we don't want to face shame and disagreement from others. Sometimes confessing leads to break life long bonds in seconds leaving a everlasting grief and pain with us. Hence sometimes we don't do things according to our own will just to avoid rejection or more like running away from it.