Why do I always feel like people are laughing at me when I don't hear it?

Social anxiety is a disorder that can make us feel, hear, and see things that aren't there. Though someone may just be laughing at a joke, or something that happened earlier in their day, we assume as we walk past that they are laughing at us. We question how we look, or the way we act, and wonder what makes us stand out to be made fun of. What we need to recognize is that this is an irrational idea that causes insecurity and unhappiness within ourselves. People laugh, people stare, people whisper to the people with them, and we need to know that unless it's a hateful person with nothing better to do with their life but that, 9 times out of 10, it's our own mind playing tricks on us to think they're directing it towards us.

The Spotlight Effect. Look it up, it is a psychological phenomenon that shows people think others notice them more than they actually do. Science proves that people aren't laughing at you!

You're not alone in how you feel! We were all brought up in society where bullying is common, self esteem isn't nurtured, more people are tuned out and disconnected to our issues, and people are more cynical than generations before us. Perhaps we've had our trust broken, and it's really hard to repair those hurts. These situations can have an impact on our trust or self esteem and make us feel like we're being talked about when we likely aren't; or that people are laughing at us when they are laughing about something completely unrelated. The feelings you feel are normal though and most people share them with you. It's an awful feeling to feel like you are being ridiculed by your peers! But that can change; taking little steps towards building your confidence is key. Confidence changes your paradigm, or outlook, completely! I think one step in building confidence is sharing your concerns of the past so that you can heal. Whether you would like to discuss past hurts or how to rebuild a more confident you with purpose, I am here to chat! Send me a message and we can arrange a time to talk.

You said you 'feel' like people are laughing at you but you said you don't actually hear it. Can you tell me more about how you feel when you are with people?

In many social situations I can't escape the feeling that people are laughing at me when I don't hear it. I don't know why but I don't feel like I'm good enough - I always think that I'm doing something wrong or look wrong. I want to feel comfortable and at some level I know no one is laughing but I can't escape that feeling.

It appears that you have social anxiety; for example you care what people think, and are stressed out about what people think of you.

I have always felt that the people laughing near me, whether they are behind me or across the room, are laughing at me. Anxiety is a like a person sitting on your shoulders, making you ignore logic, convincing you that people are talking about you, that they don't like you, that they are laughing at you. It is a very hard and painful thought process to cope with.

It can be attributed to a variety of causal factors. I feel at times everyone is staring at me when I go outside. Anyone who looks at me and near me is a confirmation that I'm being stared at. These confirmations fuel my paranoia. In reality, people are staring at me about as much as I am staring at them. Which isn't much. Which I think is the same for people laughing at you. Every single giggle or laugh you hear from those around you confirms your fear that you are being laughed at. However, it ignores the fact that most people are moving through their days independently of yours. They have their conversations, jokes, and activities already in progress before they see you. Having the self-confidence to ignore paranoia is hard, it takes a lot of effort on my part, and I'm not always successful. While I'm not always successful, I still keep trying my best as I think I owe to myself to be able to walk around my own community without feelings of paranoia and feeling like I'm a complete outsider. You too owe it to yourself to grow that self-confidence you need to be able to freely go about your days feeling good and happy to be there.

Sometimes when people feel like they're generally unliked by many people around them their brains make up things to justify their feelings. But if you flip it around and tell yourself that people actually do like you, you don't be hearing laughing anymore.

Often times, people feel like others are laughing at them because of a cognitive distortion called "mind reading". Mind reading is when you assume you know what others are thinking about you and is influenced by your emotional state. Feeling like people are laughing at you is an element of feeling anxious socially and a symptom of low self esteem. When we feel low about ourselves we put up filters that tells us the world is going to see us low, therefore we assume others are laughing at us.