Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

I have very similar experiences with this. For me it has to do with safety, when I'm alone I'm not sure if I can protect myself in any potentially dangerous situations, even if that situation is just a stranger talking to me. This has more to do with anxiety but it may also apply to you. When I'm with one friend, it gives me a feeling of protection, like they are there and can support me if I need it. I could always look to them in times of distress or confusion, which addresses a lot of my fears of big crowds.

With a friend in real time, you know you're being listened to and understood, and, importantly, seen for who you are. In a crowd, it's much easier to see faces as anonymous, and easier for people to make assumptions because there's not the same personal connection. It can be scary to be in a crowd - you feel that all eyes are on you. Ironically, it can also be an isolating experience. Being nervous in a crowd is absolutely understandable, and it's a fear that's extremely universal. You don't know what to do, because there isn't a natural place to gravitate to. You're a person with so much to give, and people will be able to see the real you. You aren't alone in being nervous in a crowd. It's completely natural. Just do your best, and you wouldn't feel pressure to be perfect in a crowd. When the crowd dissipates, you are still you, and you still have that friend waiting.

It's because you're an introvert and it's totally fine to enjoy with people you're truly comfortable with because with them you can be who you are totally. Sometimes being in a crowd makes us feel separate, feels like we don't fit in and we need to be someone else to fit in but with that one friend with whom we share everything it's easy to be in your own skin, to be who you are. When we don't have to pretend who we are for anyone else because we are not scared of being judged by that one friend we know would understand

There can be different reasons why someone might feel more shy around big crowds than with one person. For example, many people who are more introverted by nature feel more comfortable focusing on one person at a time. For other people, a higher level of noise and movement can feel a bit overwhelming. For some, large crowds can cause anxiety that makes it harder to talk and interact. It is possible for us to work on feeling more comfortable in crowds if that is important to a person, but we are all different as far as how we best find connection with others and there is nothing wrong with feeling more comfortable with one instead of many.

Most people are like this because they haven't made a connection with most people in big crowds. You don't know what they are thinking about. With friends, you are able to read them better because you have known them longer, but in a crowd you have no way to tell what these people are actually thinking. And what makes that scary is you think they are thinking about you. Making fun of the way you dressed, how you look, the shoes you wore, etc. The biggest difference between the two groups is that you have a trust in your friend. You know they won't do or say anything that will hurt you, whereas in big crowds, anyone could say anything to you and it wouldn't negatively effect them.

Besides the information on the internet that you can find to answer your question, it has a lot to do with your self image and control dynamic. That is to say, we would usually assume that one behaving like that was simply an introvert and seek to place them into a category with all the other descriptions attached to the meaning of the word. However, in most cases the person is not a true introvert if a desire to belong and present themselves to the world exists. In other words, in most cases today the issue stems from a desire to accommodate the world to ourselves in order to feel accepted and validated, and when the realisation that that's impossible hits the consciousness the self starts to retreat and introspect, presenting to the mind all possible qualities that the society perceives as flawed. Therefore to feel more comfortable and at peace with large crowds of people, the foremost goal is to be at peace with oneself and accept yourself as you are. From that point of self acceptance, you will learn to act in either scenarios efficiently.

I find it very overwhelming and overstimulating with all of the noises and different people in crowds. I also do not like all of the conversations going on back and forth. I hear that people with social anxiety can have trouble in crowds, and also people who might have obsessive compulsive disorder who are afraid of being touched and bumped into with crowds. Also people on the autism spectrum might not know what to say around other people in crowds and be unable to pick up on social cues. It can be easier if you are only with one person because you can focus your attention on only one person and you can think and formulate your own thoughts and have responses to conversations. You will have time to reflect back what the other person said, and form your own opinions and have things to share. The environment might make a difference and it can help if the other person is a good listener. I find that being a shy person that it is the quality of the friendship that is more important, rather than how many friends that you have. As you get to know one person, you will open up more and not be so shy.

I think it's just a matter of trust! When you're with that one person, you feel good because you can flourish -- you're not worrying about all the other things that might cause you anxiety. In a big crowd, there's lots of stimulus that can distract you or make you worried. I feel the same way a lot of the time, and knowing that I can rely on that one friend is a really good thing to know. I get nervous when I'm in school sometimes, just because I don't know all the people. Having a support group or circle of close friends helps because I always have something to fall back on!

It is actually very common to feel uneasy when you are dealing with big crowds, so you should not be hard on yourself about that. If you feel comfortable around your friends, that is very positive and you can keep that in mind. To overcome this problem, you could try doing small steps. For instance, you can try to have a conversation with three other persons, the next week with four or five and gradually try to expose yourself to larger groups of people. As long as you try to expose yourself in situations that include social interaction, you will notice difference in the way you handle things!

I believe it is because you are experiencing social anxiety, you are more comfortable with the one friend because you are familiar with him/her/them and are uncomfortable with people that you have not been friends with yet. It is okay to feel this way, people build up their social tolerance and social battery over time so just keep socializing and eventually you will feel more comfortable in crowds and be more comfortable with yourself in social environments. You are doing great and it will take time. Keep up the great work, we are cheering for you.