Why am I so shy around big crowds, but when I'm with one friend than I'm fine?

When you're with one friend, that person is someone you know very well and someone whose behaviour you're familiar with/can predict. However, when you're surrounded by people in big crowds, it can get overwhelming because so many people are listening to what you have to say and so many people may judge you. Their behaviour is not as easy to predict as your friend's is because you probably do not know them well. I understand how you feel, I also get really shy around crowds with lots of people. I believe it does get easier with more practice, though. Good luck!

- Social anxiety can affect the individuals self-esteem and has emotional and behavioural traits associated with it. These traits involve negative perception of self, avoiding social situations, over-sensitivity to critique as well as increased fear over embarrassment, humiliation and teasing. Some of the physical symptoms of social anxiety involve avoidance of eye contact, stuttering when taking, blushing. To improve comfort on socially anxious friend a very careful communication style must be taken into account to make sure the individual is at ease: 1. Avoidance of certain phrases (“calm down”, “you don’t need to be afraid”, there is nothing to be anxious about”); but do acknowledge how they truly feel and that you are there for emotional support (“I know you are uncomfortable but I will be there to help you get through this”) and that it’s ok to make mistakes in social situations (“I know you are I uncomfortable but don’t worry about what you say; take your time and see any error as just a learning process”), 2. Knowing that your questions or suggestions may come across as judgemental (e.g. Do not ask or recommend therapy to them as that may make the individual feel like they are being labelled or may magnify that what they experience is extreme and hence may feel worse about themselves). What you ask should not highlight your friends own self-frustrations (e.g. what coping mechanisms do you use for your anxiety?). 3. Do not give the person too much space as an anxious person can interpreting this as abandoning them or they may think they come across as not worth your time. Read the tone, renascence, pitch of their voice when they talk. Even though your friend want to be alone how they say that may suggest otherwise (tone of voice, body language, facial expressions). 4. Do not stigmatise their anxiety but have range in the topics you discuss with them (have light-heartened conversations and ones that don’t always revolve around anxiety as the friendship needs to be a genuine one). Ask your friend in what way they would like you to help them. Talk about common interests and have humourous conversations with them. 5. If you are someone who also experiences anxiety share your experiences with your anxious friend to show they are not alone or join support groups together as it may feel a better connection and relatability to you. Agoraphobia most common in late teens and adults can exist with a combination of other anxiety disorders such as panic attack disorder (A condition which involves serve physical symptoms such as fear of dying, dizziness, sweating). Risk factors such as experience of trauma, abuse are common in acrophobia. Typical agoraphobia symptoms include fear of large crowds, waiting in lines, enclosed spaces (movie theatres, stores), public transportation (bus, trains), leaving home alone. These symptoms can attribute to extreme distress in work situations and misjudgement of the danger of situations. Coping mechanisms in how to help a friend with agoraphobia and panic attacks involve: 1. Educate oneself on the symptoms of agoraphobia and panic attacks ( read what the diagnosis is for agrophobia), 2. Give the friend opportunity to leave at any time of the are pushing themselves out of their comfort zone and still feel uncomfortable. 3. Help friend find a support group. 4. Do not put your friend on the spot as they may feel uneasy about this and further their anxiety.

I find that comfortability lends to me feeling "fine" when I'm in small groups or one-on-one. A big crowd can make feel uneasy because I get worried about being evaluated negatively. However, this feeling is lessened when speaking with just one person. I'm able to gauge their reactions personally instead of imagining the reactions of a large crowd (virtually impossible to accurately gauge). Reminding myself that I'm human, mistakes are ok, and that other people are mostly kind helps me to get out of my head when speaking to a large group. I totally get feeling shy but speaking with people personally helps to build my confidence.

Your friend should feel super lucky because that means that you are totally comfortable with them! It's incredibly important that we surround ourselves with people that allow us to be our true selves all the time. Being in big crowds can be really daunting, because you might feel uncomfortable sharing a part of yourself and being vulnerable with your true identity with someone who you don't know too well. That is totally normal and something that many people experience. I think that building confidence in yourself by continuing to spend time with those people that do make you comfortable is the best way to overcome this shyness, if in fact you want to do so.

It is very normal. You might just not need several people to make you content. One genuine person around you is enough for you. You may value quality over quantity. You may also be a bit introvert which is fine . You may find people judge you easily but someone you trust has patience to understand you. Do not feel bad. It should be that what makes you happy rather than what people think about you. If you feel comfortable with one person that is fine, you do not have to be around crowd much. If you feel shy it is okay, you do not feel bad because it is not something harmful in nature. I hope the answer helped. Take care.

Maybe your interoversion level is high. I say this because that is the case with me too: When I was in high school i got into this tutoring class which have like 5-15 students in it. And my high school class have, like, 36 students in one class alone. I was a shy and more on the reserved side when I am at school but when I’m at this tutoring class I turned into some kind of class clown/ extrovert/friendly person. Totally different. I noticed I always do best in small groups, and after a long session of contemplating and analyzing, I guess it’s because I distribute a lot of energy to be around with a big group of people. What I meant is, when we are communicating or interacting with people as an introvert, we are spending our energy to that person, so the bigger the group, the more energy we employ. On the other perspective; the more people around, the more expectation there are. And sometimes the tought of a consuming amount of expectation around us is making us feel awkward and in my case, clumsier. So I restrain myself from doing things because I know it heightened the chance of embarassing myself. So I became reserved. Whatever is the reason, if you’re still on the “shy” spectrum then I guess you’re completely fine. No one wants to embarass themselves. But if you feel like that “shyness” have interfered your life significantly, I highly suggest you seek a therapy or any sort of help.

Maybe because it's difficult to meet new people but you know how you can deal with people that you already know for example your friends. A lot of people feel this way so I personally wouldn't mind too much. If you really feel like your shyness is bothering in those kind of situations you can reach out to a professional or talk to someone on 7cups. Maybe another way to feel more comfortable in situations like that you can start by meeting new people in hobby clubs or something. When you already have the same interest as other people that might ease the communication between you. And you will feel better more easily

Things can be detailed when there are only 2 persons. Around big crowds, there are a lot to take care of. The influence is big. Sometimes we do not feel ready or even have not ever thought of how we would like to present us to a big crowd. What is the occasion? Who are they? What will they think? What will they talk? How should I do? It could be very different from the way that we get along with friends. When we are with friends, it is about building relationship. When we are around big crowds, the objective could be very different and vague.

Sometimes being in big crowds can provoke anxiety in people. It can be intimidating having many people stand near or around you. You may feel like you don't have control of the situation or the things happening around you. Having a friend with you in big crowds might provide you with the support and comfort that you are missing. Simply knowing that someone is looking out for you can be reassuring in a stressful situation. Now more than ever, being in crowds can increase levels of stress and anxiety. Having someone in your corner helps to relieve some of that stress.

It is possible that you have social anxiety, but it is also possible that you're just plainly scared of being with too many people because you might say something wrong or embarrass yourself. You're probably just more comfortable with one friend because there aren't so many people looking at you, so there are more people who could notice things you don't want them to notice about you. Of course, you know yourself the best, so I can't give you the best advice, although I'd recommend you to look up "social anxiety" on the internet and maybe connect with a therapist so you can get a proper diagnosis.