How to stop overthinking things in a relationship?

Most of us are guilty of over-thinking, especially when it comes to relationships. We wonder if we are attractive enough, funny enough, smart enough. We want to impress the other person so that they will want to be with us, which in turn makes us feel good about ourselves. The key to a happy balanced relationship is to love oneself first. When we love ourselves we are not seeking validation or fulfillment from another person. We are already feeling happy and secure within ourselves. When we love ourselves we can then give to others. We can feel confident that we have something to offer someone else. When we over-think, we risk sabotaging the relationship. We cannot possibly predict what the other person is thinking or how they are feeling. We need to communicate and ask questions if we are truly going to understand the other person's perspectives. We need to learn to live in the moment and not within our heads. When we can be fully present with the other person, we can be engaged into their world and prevent ourselves from over-thinking.

tricky one, it depends on you and the other person and what's making you over think. Sometimes it helps to write down what bothers you so much and read it back and see if it's still worth worrying about? I am here to always listen and specialise in relationship issues.

The trick is to live in the moment. Thinking too far into the past and too far into the future causes anxiety. You need to tell yourself that you are already in that relationship for a reason - and no matter what you think about won't change the outcome of things. If the relationship is meant to end it will end regardless of how much you think about it; and actually, over thinking can damage the relationship because you are not living in the moment and putting your effort in at that exact moment.

One of the question to ask is "Is this true?" or "How do I know this true?" and if one can't find any evidence to back it up, then we should leave the thought as it is.

“Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way, you are right.” So true. Overthinking is unhealthy and destructive. It is a waste of time, energy, and our emotions. Women, are much more likely than men to ruminate on stress and disappointments and engage in overthinking a relationship. In a relationship if we make someone our center of universe , we go off our center. Instead of enjoying what is there in the moment we fret over our future. We suffocate our relationship by expecting too much out of it. Overthinking and over analyzing creates a pessimistic view of any situation. So how do we stop ourselves from over thinking in a relationship : Let go of your “what ifs” : we will never know all the answers , so let it go and let the mystery unfold. Distract yourselves : if a thought arises acknowledge it and let it go. Stop talking about it : once you have vented your feelings to someone just stop talking about it. Find some purpose : living a purposeful life connect to who you are and give you much joy and fulfillment. “chill out” and “live in the moment”.

Take one day, one moment at a time. The fact that you're overthinking things in your relationship, any time of relationship, might suggest that you're worried about something else in your life. Try and figure out if there's anything in your life that's making you nervous or stressed and take it from there.

It's important that you trust yourself and your partner. Don't be afraid to openly discuss things with them - this can make you feel more at ease, and explain to them your worries. One good tip for immediate relief is to write your future self a note every once in a while, so that you can read it when you're getting worked up. It could be as simple as "Breathe" or "You don't need to Question it" or a sweet quote to keep you calm.

Learn to trust your love for your partner and your partner's love for you. If you trust someone enough, you will not overthink things. If you find yourself overthinking over things, try to calm yourself and remind yourself all the good qualities and all good things about your relationship with your partner. And if something is bothering you and you are overthinking so much, try to communicate and talk to your partner. It will build trust, communication and transparency that so on may lead to healthy relationship.

Sometimes our past experiences make us question whether or not something bad will happen in our current relationship. Relationships can make us feel vulnerable, so it's natural to worry about what might happen. Try to recognize what you are overthinking about and whether this though is helping or harming your relationship. Try to talk to your partner about your concerns instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself, or talk to someone else you care about to help you stop ruminating.

I think it's best to start by being secure with yourself. That way, you can avoid being insecure in a relationship.