Why do we turn to the things that destroy us to make ourselves feel better?

We turn to things that destroy us because we have not learned the correct coping skills. We are relying on old, bad habits to comfort us when that is what brought us misery in the first place.

Actually we need to know how our minds works. Whenever we are in a bad mental state the minds cheats us and tells us that these bad activities will make us happy... during depressed times our body has the lowest power to defend ourselves against such traps. Sleeplessness and poor diet also leads us to such situations always avoid artificial foods and take organic natural foods as much as possible to have strong mind and mental state. So according to my limited knowledge if you any single constructive activity which you enjoy passionately will give you strength to avoid bad habits.

We turn to things that destroy us to make ourselves feel better because often times it is what we know. Self esteem often controls what we assume we deserve, so we go towards what we believe that we deserve, which in most cases is something negative. We don't realize we deserve so much MORE, then we give ourselves. So we get stuck in a habit of staying with a habit which is lesser then we should get. Example: Feeling low, instead of accepting help we let ourselves loath in the pain, instead of realizing we deserve help and actively seek help. So we suffer in silence because we view ourselves as "not worth the better".

Sometimes its escapism. We do not see a different way out and we act on the spur of the moment without thinking things through. But always remember the next morning in the cold light of day your still going to have to deal with the reality that was there before you decided to take something. It is best to think, take time out and deal with the actual problem rather than trying to mask it.

Hurting ourselves is a lot easier than finding solutions. When we can't find healthy coping skills we fall back to self-destruction. We express our negative emotions this way.

People often value themselves less than they should so they accept negative treatment because they think it's the best that they deserve. I can personally relate because when I was in a difficult place, I talked to my ex and he was helpful and loving so I believed we would be able to get back together but he was doing the same thing with multiple girls.

I don't think that's it, really– I think it's that most of the things that help us feel instantly better, if even for a moment, are some of the things worst for our long-term wellbeing. And when you're not feeling well, you're almost certainly more focused on temporary relief than on long-term care.

A lot of people do this because they think that all they deserve is pain and hurt. Sometimes this is all people know in their lives before they learn to treat themselves with the love and respect they truly deserve

we always try to be in command. and we believe we can change the things in our own way. and we know the hard lesson very late that apart from us we cannot change much outside.

They're more familiar - and produce more familiar outcomes than aiming for newer, scarier but possibly more positive outcomes.