How can I deal with being blamed for things that aren't my fault?
94 Answers
Last Updated: 02/11/2024 at 2:24pm
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Top Rated Answers
Practice self-care. Unfortunately there will be times when you are unfairly blamed for situations but the important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself and love yourself - despite what is being thrown at you. Take time each day to do something for you and not let others negatively impact the wonderful person that you are (and you are!!). This is a fun website full of ideas and information on ways to be compassionate to yourself. http://theselfcompassionproject.com/2013/06/03/80-self-care-ideas/
Sometimes life isn't fair and you have to accept things you can't change, you know the truth and that's what matters the most, but sometimes you have to speak up and defend yourself
At some point in life you will be blamed for something that isn't your fault. I have experienced that sometimes you have just take a deep breath, plead your case, and if the person still does not believe you apologize that they feel that way and move on.
From personal experience, the best thing is to keep the knowledge of knowing that the things you're being blamed for aren't your fault. Have you tried talking to whoever is blaming you to try and see if you can get them to see your side of the story? I know this is hard or can be hard to deal with. All the best to you!
Anonymous
May 8th, 2015 3:23pm
I spent most of my childhood dealing with my older brother, who is a year older than me. Back then, everything he did got pushed onto me and I was getting the blame for EVERYTHING. I realised as the same thing kept happening every single time, I would just take it like a man and get over it, take my punishment. However, now we're adults, my parents have recently found out that it was my brother all along purely because of whats happening now (We've both moved out of mum and dads. My brother visits sometimes when I'm not there and the stuff that was happening as a child, is happening when he is home). So thats how they found out, they all apologised to me. The lesson is, if you can, just take it and hopefully it will work out for the best.
-Anonymous, Personal Experience.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2015 12:55pm
Tell the truth and explain your side with complete honesty. Let others know that you are innocent and talk openly
Evaluate the situation. Identify your actions and take responsibility for your actions. If it is possible, let the other person know that you empathize with their feelings and express to them your intentions. You can even apologize for the issue of miscommunication and that you are sorry they are feeling that way. If they are not willing or open to hearing you out, that is their decision. Just feel good in knowing that you did the best that you can do to rectify the situation. You can not make people trust you, they have to be willing to do that on their own. You should not take it upon yourself to consistently prove your innocence to someone.
Well, if it really isn't your fault, then you don't have to be bothered so much. You can tell the people blaming you the real story, and if they still wouldn't believe you, it's fine. At least you know that you are telling the truth. :)
I'm very sorry you have to experience this. If you can stand up against it and confront the person, that would be great! But if you have no intention for confrontation, try to find someone whom you can talk to. It is not an easy thing to be responsible of things you did not do.
If you know in your heart that those things aren't your fault, do the best thing for yourself (and the absolute hardest!) and walk away from whatever or whoever is blaming you. Truth is the one thing that survives after all time and recriminations are past. Trying to engage in a campaign of proving yourself can be fruitless but you can continue to do the right thing; people will always decide for themselves about a person, regardless of what they might be fed...stay true to yourself, don't play the same game as your accusers and keep your head high.
Sometimes I have to tell myself that I am emotionally stronger than my accusers. If they need to believe that it is my fault, I can live with that. Everytime I then come face to face with my accuser, I feel stronger and stronger knowing their faulty thinking is what they rely on,
When you're blamed for something that isn't your fault, at work for instance, it is important not to immediately point the blame on someone else. Chances are, the other person doesn't believe it was their fault either. At the same time, you don't want to accept the blame and stay quiet. The most respectful thing you can do for yourself and others is to say that you're willing and open to analyzing where things went wrong and to work together to fix it.
there is something called as self. He/she knows its not my fault. better not to go beyond others words. keep in mind that things dont get better worryingg over that.. so just leave. be happy :) its your right to be happy. dont allow others to spoil that.
Anonymous
February 29th, 2016 11:46pm
Learn to speak up for yourself when you feel like it's worth it. Evaluate each situation and see if you can accept the projected outcomes. If not, act accordingly,
The first thing you can do is to remind yourself that it wasn't your fault. It can be hurtful and make you feel confused when you are blamed for something that you didn't do. You can try talking to the person that blamed you in the first place and tell them how you feel. If they aren't willing to listen to you, the next step would be to take care of yourself. You can try and do things that will help you calm down, like maybe going on a short walk or painting.
Being blamed for something that wasn't your fault can be disheartening because it feels like you can't even convince the person that blamed you that it wasn't your fault. The best thing you can do would be to give them a little time to cool off and then talk to them when they are a little more receptive.
You have to stick up for what you believe in, don't change your morals or attitude and respond with kindness, don't try too hard to prove that it is not your fault. Time will eventually prove the person in front of you that you did not lie
Remind yourself that it isn't your fault. You have to constantly tell yourself you are better than this, what they say is false, you are a good person, you've done nothing wrong, their words are meaningless, etc. It will hurt to be blamed for things, all you need is that reminder that it isn't true and it's okay to let it go.
I realized that we are all only human, and that to be human is to make mistakes. Blaming someone for something they didn't do can happen to anyone, and the real goal to achieve in this situation is to be the bigger person, let the blame occur, and attempt to positively educate the individual afterwards on the reasons why you are not at fault.
Simply, you can allow it to pass over you. Realize that you are being blamed. Realize that yes, this was wrong.
And then let it go.
This does not mean try to forget, or try to take your mind off of it.
Just allow yourself to be upset if that's how it makes you feel, allow yourself to cry, and allow yourself to feel proud of yourself that you realize that it's wrong and you'd never do something like that to anybody.
And then, let it pass. And allow yourself to be at peace.
Anonymous
September 21st, 2016 10:16am
You can discuss openly about them. If it doesn't solve the problem, just let go and move forward. People's blame doesn't determine or change who you are.
Try to not overthink. Remain calm and stay true to yourself. You yourself know that you are not at fault, so try to not let the negative situation cause negativity in other areas of your life.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2017 4:03pm
First of all, it's important to believe in yourself and truly know that it wasn't your fault. If some one is blaming you, you should try to make the other person understand the truth, in a calm and low tone, so that there isn't any room for fights or arguements.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2017 7:47pm
Acknowledge that the people who blame you may have something going on too. You being blamed for something could be because that person doesn't want to take responsibility as something may have gone wrong in the past. You could talk to the person in a mannerly order and resolve it. 🙂
You can tell yourself that you shouldn't blame yourself or feel bad for something that you know wasn't your fault. It is up to you depending on how much respect you have for yourself :)
It’s important to know your own truth and not rely on others to define your experiences for you. Regardless if someone blames you or not, what matters is that you don’t blame yourself.
Through my experience, I feel the biggest thing you can do is not base your value or worth on the opinions of others. Remind yourself (constantly if need be) that whatever you're being blamed for is not your fault. Surround yourself with people who support you and hold you in positive regard.
Anonymous
October 20th, 2017 8:59pm
Believing in yourself and knowing you are 100% not in fault and explaining to the other person to believe what you are saying as you are being truthful. If they still disagree then walk away from negativity, surround yourself around positively!
Anonymous
February 10th, 2022 4:10am
Remind yourself that you are not in the wrong, take a few deep breathes, and calm down before you talk again. Explain exactly what happened as peacefully as you can, pointing out facts and flaws in the other's story. If the person (people) keep harassing you, don't be afraid to walk away and talk to a trusted adult. You cannot control others' thoughts, opinions, or feelings in a situation like this but you can control how you react. And even if you try as hard as you can, there is still a chance people will believe and hear what they want. However, you are not alone, the 7 Cups community always has your back.
What do you have control over in any part of your life or day to day activities, take a look and see
Anonymous
November 3rd, 2016 11:58am
Deep inhale. Deep exhale. Talk through it. Not every arguments to be replied by arguments. Act positively by saying "Maybe, I'm not 100% right, but you should rethink that I'm not 100% wrong either
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