How do I approach someone that frequently ignores my questions via text messages and then texts me back without acknowledging my question as if I never asked?
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Last Updated: 08/28/2024 at 4:37pm
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Anonymous - Expert in Social Anxiety
July 12th, 2021 11:49am
It seems like they are avoiding those questions and do not want to answer them due to their reasons. When someone is ignoring replying to some specific text messages it is a sign that they are not interested in discussing it. Some people ignore it simply because they don't want to sound rude or they are not aware of how to politely say no to a certain thing asked to them. I can say that from my own experience as either I tend to ignore subjects that I am not interested in or let the speaker know about it. So, if being ignored is bothering you, the best way to approach such a person is to confront them by being straightforward. You could text them back asking if they overlooked those messages purposefully or it was unintentional. Another way is to phone/meet them and then seek answers to the questions that you thought they were ignoring. This way you would not only get answers to your questions but you would also get to know if they ignored you intentionally or not. In my opinion, phone calls and personal meet-ups should be given more preferences than texting as it could save us from frustration and save our relationship with people. I have seen a lot of confusion brewing between people over text messages that ruin the friendship and could have been avoided if people preferred phone calls over texting each other. Being an active user of messaging apps myself, I am not against texting at all but there are instances in life where text could create more chaos. Chances are more of being easily misunderstood over text. Thus, a face-to-face meeting/video call or a phone call should be preferred especially during a fight or when there is a lack of understanding.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2019 1:55pm
You could ask them if they have seen your question and if they have, let them know you have been wondering why they haven't answered. They might've missed it, something might be going on for them or they've felt uncomfortable answering that question. Either way, getting an answer will help you take it from there. You have mentioned it happens frequently and I'm sorry about that. Having questions or messages ignored can be hurtful and confusing, you can let them know how you feel. A person ignoring your question shouldn't necessarily mean they dont care. I hope you get a good answer. :)
Ask the person if you can have some time with them as there is something bothering you and you would like to talk about with them. This will help open the channel of communication in a positive way and also advise the other person that what you have to say is important to you. If you feel like your request is not being taken seriously ask the person for their full attention and ask again. They may not be in a position to talk straight away so understand that it is okay to another time suitable for you both at a later time/date.
Be straight forward. If you see them in person you need to be like "Hey, we really need to talk." Sit them down and be straight forward. Ask them why they keep ignoring the question you're asking. Tell them how it makes you feel. Make sure they hear you and don't change the subject and make sure that they answer. If they tell you they don't want to or the question makes them uncomfortable then maybe rethink the question you are asking them. Rethink it and wonder if knowing the answer is really that important to you that you absolutely need to push forward or if the question is something that really could be making them uncomfortable.
Oh noes, having your messages/ questions get ignored is a sad experience, and when people act all normal post ignoring us, it's even more strange to witness.
I'd feel so confused too, about what to think of it and how to approach them.
There could be different reasons to why someone is ignoring a question, though, perhaps it's something they don't wish to talk or share about? Other times just people not really caring enough to see our texts and simply getting across what they want to talk about.
If I were in your position, I'd likely politely approach them and mention that I observed they ignored my question(s), and would ask them if it's a particular topic they don't want to discuss/ talk about or what made them ignore that message, as despite how difficult it may seem to communicate and confront at times, it's the only way to actually know what the other person is really thinking/ feeling, and when we talk it out, we know better on how to deal with the same.
What do you think?
It can feel confusing and frustrating when someone doesn't respond to your questions in text messages and then reaches out as if you never asked. There might be different reasons for this behavior, such as feeling overwhelmed, not noticing the questions or maybe even avoiding certain topics altogether. Its important to remember that communication styles can vary greatly from person to person. You might consider expressing how this makes you feel and asking for clarification when you talk next time. Remember you're not alone in facing these kinds of challenges and many others experience similar situations in their relationships
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