Does cutting for only a few months and stopping make me any less of a self-harmer?

No. You are a self harmer, you have harmed yourself on purpose. Once or a thousand times. yet, you do not need to identify yourself as that. it's in your past.

Something that stands out in this question for me is that it's about being *a self-harmer* (as opposed to being about the action of self-harming). What does it mean to you to 'be a self-harmer'? How do you feel about the idea of 'being a self-harmer'? Is it something you want to be seen as or want not to be seen as? It may or may not be something you value - If it is, I'd try to think about other ways you could create an identity for yourself and express yourself. I used to self harm, and I have scars all over my left arm. I'm not ashamed or proud of these scars, but them being there does have a potential impact for the rest of my life. I cover them sometimes because I don't want to wear this part of my past on my sleeve when meeting new people; I am happy to open up about these things, but I don't want it to be the first thing people see of me as I don't want to talk about it all the time and I don't want people to misunderstand them. The reality is that this can be a real pain sometimes. For example, on a hot day when I want to wear short sleeves. Fortunately, since I have stopped they are becoming less visible over time and have got to a stage where most people do not notice them unless they look carefully. I hope this has been helpful in some way, and I wish you luck with the rest of your journey!

That's amazing that you stopped! You used to self-harm and now you do not. We are not the identity of our pasts, we are the identity of who we are now and of who we want to be.

Self harm is self harm but the fact that you were able to stop shows that you have grown and taken steps in the right direction.

There‘s no such thing as “more” of a self-harmer or “less” of a self harmer. Self harming is a delicate issue that needs to be handled carefully. And, i hope that you did stop self-harming. If Yes, then congratulations and if No, Keep fighting. We are all there for you.

I personally don't really like to call someone a "self-harmer". This is like you would blame him for this but most people do it out of deep despertation and because they don't know how to else help themselves. Though in my opinion you are only a self-harmer - if you really want to call it like that- as long as you actually do harm yourself. I did cut myself for serveral years but now for another few years I didn't do it anymore and I overcame it. And I don't feel like I will be a self-harmer for the rest of my life just because of the scars. I am rather proud that I managed to overcome this and that it is a thing of the past now.

Physically and biologically speaking - yes, but there may be other ways of self-harming such as undervaluing your self-worth, working to others advice or opinions which deep down inside you don't feel is right (you may be acting against your own morals or values which may hurt emotionally)

You are a self-harmer, but with enough strength to stop doing it. I congratulate any one of you for stopping.

I don't really think there is an agenda or specific time interval that accompanies being a self-harmer. There's not really way to be "more" of a self-harmer. If you self-harm, you self-harm, that's that, you know? And stopping is good, it's a good thing to stop, but it doesn't discount anything or invalidate what you were going through before you stopped. I think that thinking there is a certain way you have to be to be a self-harmer is dangerous because it can make people want to be more of one, or a "better" one, when it reality it's not something you want to do more of, it's something that you want to stop, which can take time, and when people feel like they weren't a good enough self-harmer, it makes stopping harder.

Not at all. It's very easy as someone who cuts to compare yourself to others: "oh I've just scratched myself a few times, that person has got deepwe or bigger scars than me". It can make you feel like a fraud. But its important to remember, self-harm is self-harm. And everyone is completely different. There are no comparisons. Even if you have only hurt yourself once or only thought about it, the negative thoughts are still there and getting advice and support is just as important.

No it doesn't. But it does make you incredibly strong. I have struggled with self harm for years and I know how hard it is to stop. The fact that you have managed to make such progress in only a few months is something to be proud of. It might help to think of yourself as someone who struggles with self harm rather than a 'self-harmer'. Doing so helps me to remember that there is so much more to me than my struggles with self harm. For many people, the struggle with self harm continues after they stop cutting. The urges to self harm may still be there, even if they aren't acted on any more. Recovery is a road rather than a destination and staying on the road can be really tough. Whether or not this is the case for you, remember how far you have come and how strong you are. There may be bumps in the road, sometimes you may leave it altogether, but it will be there for you when you are ready to start walking it again. I wish you the best with your recovery.

No, it doesn't. Because that's not possible. Cutting even once can become an addiction. The physical pain would dilute out the mental pain and then you would keep on seeking for the physical pain as a distraction. And no matter how many times it is, self harm is a self harm. It hurts the same and has the same effect. It leaves a scar for life, if not physical, then at least a mental scar. It would keep on reminding you of your weakness and your times of despair. It's definitely better to resort to different approach to distract the mental pain. It could be any way that doesn't harm your health or anyone else's. Music helps. But that's when nothing's gone too far. One should try to seek put for help when things seem like they're going too far.

No, of course not. If you have self-harmed, even just once, that makes you a self-harmer (if that is what you choose to identify with- some people stop considering themselves self-harmers during their recovery). Your experience is valid and real, and just because it didn't happen for years it doesn't negate the pain you went through and it doesn't make your recovery "easier". And it's so amazing that you managed to stop earlier than later! You should be proud of yourself. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, your journey and your experience is as real as anybody else's who has been there. I am so glad you stopped. You deserve to recover. I wish you all the happiness possible.

Everyone's experience is valid whether it happened for a few months or a few years. What you have been through and what you are currently going through make you stronger than you'll ever know. Self harming is never the answer to take away your pain. Yes you went through it for a short amount of time, but that experience was real. It was real to you. Sometimes we all feel overwhelmed with things in life and we look for ways out of it. There are so many people who would be proud of you to know that you only had to go through that pain for a few months. You are strong and you made it through.

Not at all. But then, being a part of the SI community doesn't make you any less of an anything. Any time anyone goes on a binge of food then purges it or drinking things like alcohol it is Self Injury as much as cutting or burning etc. Sometimes these acts are temporary, sometimes they are lifelong. The important thing is recognizing it as destructive and redirecting the energy into something CONstructive. You only have one you, so be kind to it.

From my experience, what makes someone a self-harmer is the fact that they repeatedly harm themselves no matter if it's only a matter of days, weeks, months, or even years. Anyone who self-harm needs to reach out and seek the help that they need. I personally went through it for months and thankfully I outgrew it (and took up other vices unfortunately). Self-care and self-love don't happen overnight and from my personal experience, discussing self-harm with the people i trust helped me overcome the urges. I was in a dark, dark place. From then on, i still get enveloped by darkness, but never the urge of self-harm any longer. I've grown quite fond of myself and wouldn't want me to be hurt in that way anymore.

I use to cut for almost two years, and i stopped for about one month. Self-harm is a serious addiction, i know how hard it can be to escape that cycle. But it depends on how you are feeling and if you want to continue cutting.

Cutting ourselves/ trying to self harm won't do any good. You are just hurting yourself. You should love yourself, you'll feel better

cutting for any amount of time can be addicting and if you continuously do it will always be an option for you, but if you find other ways to cope that are healthier for you and less addicting, you could stop sooner.

No,self-harm isn’t about for how long you do it.Maybe you do it for a day,but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t count.

Not at all. The fact that you get the urge to harm yourself and engage in self-harm behaviour at all would technically make you a "self-harmer". You don't need to label yourself as that though because that doesn't make you who you are.

Self harm is self harm. No matter how long, or how many times it is practiced, it doesn’t make it any worse or any better.

In my lived experience, self harm has taken many forms--cutting, starving, drinking, self-isolation, and more. For me, self harming is a wordless response to coping with trauma. The truth that I have accepted is that the urge to find some way to self harm as a coping mechanism will always be inside me somewhere. I am grateful that I am able to manage these urges by (1) using coping mechanisms learned in therapeutic intervention, and (2) with medication. Becoming aware of the underlying dynamics of why I was self harming has been very meaningful in my ongoing recovery. I have become more skilled in managing my metacognitive functions--mainly monitoring how I'm thinking about stressors and triggers. As they say, knowledge is power, and it has saved my life.

That will always be part of your identity, because it’s an obstacle you’ve faced and that has made you stronger.

it sounds like you are depressed and need to talk to sormone. it can lead to more if you get anymore depressed.

Cutting makes you a self-harmer but Im glad if you stopped and I want you to know that no matter how dark a situation could seem, you should not harm yourself. Take care of yourself and give yourself all the love in the world, because you deserve it.

It's complicated. If you self harm to cope with depression and pain, it may recur as a coping method or at least a desire thoughout all of your life, but that is no reason to feel defeated. On the contrary, if you can stop for a while, when you feel in control of your life, that is a good sign. It means, when the urges to harm are in your head, they are a clear sign you need to talk to someone about your problems. It can be turned into an advantage for taking care of yourself, if you are patient and determined. Don't let the stigma make you feel ashamed, it's actually very natural, but a symptom of a bigger problem.

Hi! I'm liainsalia, I couldn't help but notice the error you made in your question! It's never "only". No matter how long it was, even if it was once, it doesn't take away from the fact that you did it and the pain that led you to do so. It does not make you any less of a self-harmer and it doesn't mean that you aren't "going through as much" as someone who's done it longer than you. We aren't here to compare nor measure pain because it never was a contest to begin with. I, for starters, acknowledge that you're hurting regardless of the physical "proof" you may or may not have to show for it. You're hurting, regardless of doing it for a month or a year and I want you to know that there is someone out there who understands that. I'm here to chat if you ever want to.

No, if you have ever cut yourself then you have self harmed and therefore are a self harmer. I cut for years on and off and I never would say that I was a self harmer but I guess I was. You can’t be ‘less of a self harmer’ Because of the duration, if you felt the urge to cut and pursued that urge you have the same experience as someone who has been doing it for years. If you felt during those months that you needed to cut to release your pain then it is valid and no one can tell you it isn’t. It is not a competition as to who cuts the deepest or who’s been doing it the longest. It is always serious not matter how ‘bad’ or how ‘long’ it’s been going on for

The short answer is yes and no. Cutting happens in response to painful emotions, as a way to temper them, or keep them at bay altogether. If cutting is akin to being an addiction, then the only way to be cutter-free is do the same thing that an alcoholic or substance abuser must do: not do it at all, not even one time because, like the other two addictions, one "drink" may have you right back you were when you stopped. However, because cutting is a compulsion rather than a physiological addiction, the knowledge and past success at stopping can help someone successfully address the relapse.