I have so many friends, and family members, but I still feel so alone. Like there is this hollow feeling inside, what do I do??
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Last Updated: 03/22/2022 at 10:57am
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Anonymous
April 26th, 2019 7:24pm
I know exactly how you feel, I felt so around some months ago when I was struggling with the exact same thing. What I didn't realize was that there was something that wasn't going well for me. I was in a relationship which at that time I was very happy with the person but after I broke up, that is when I realized that that was the problem. It felt to me like at that point I was happy but I realized much later that I didn't realize the adverse effects of the relationship. In hindsight I realized that when I was in the relationship I lost my appetite, I started to sadder than happy.
All I can say is that it might seem like this now but as things go on everything will become better. I am not telling you to break up with your partner or anything but I am just saying that often there are things that are right in front of us but we fail see them. I hope you feel better and I know you will!
Sometimes when we feel alone, despite being surrounded by others, it can reflect that there are parts of ourselves that we want to be seen, understood and accepted by others (as well as by ourselves).
Our role in closing that gap with others in our lives, is a willingness to trust and be vulnerable. This can be daunting because it comes at the risk of being rejected, criticised, humiliated, judged and misunderstood.
At the same time, others may feel the same way about their relationship with us, desiring more closeness but afraid of what we might think if they showed more of their real selves.
With those who are already in our lives, with whom we want to build closeness, we can start by developing empathy, compassion, and curiosity about their experiences of life, and learning to notice and withhold our own judgements of them.
For those that we want to bring into our lives, this can involve proactive efforts to find our 'tribe' - people who already have interests and qualities you'd like to be more a part of your life. The starting point might be finding social settings in which to participate in activities that we already enjoy, such a group settings such as teams or classes, for sports, walking, volunteering, intellectual or creative pursuits.
Maybe you're not letting anyone know what's going inside your head or maybe you're surrounded by people with different interests than yours. So, often time you find yourself feeling lonely even when you're with a lot of people around you. Because they don't know you exactly or understand you. It's okay to feel like that. You can start by talking about what you think. Eventually people will understand you or you will find someone who is interested in the things as you're. First, you need to find some ground for you to be yourself and feel comfortable. Wish you luck!
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