Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

When should I come out of the closet?

45 Answers
Last Updated: 08/26/2019 at 11:37pm
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta Tania
5 star rating
Moderated by

Sarah Robb, LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker, Supervisor Designation) and LICDC (Licenced Chemical Dependency Counselor)

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Life poses many challenges. Learning to face, cope with, and resolve these challenges can increase our resilience.

Top Rated Answers
Profile: DapperRainbow
DapperRainbow
May 23rd, 2016 10:48am
I love this question. You should come out of the closet when you are dressed to be who you are. Come out on your own time. When you are comfortable. When you are confident. When you are ready. Coming out isn't necessary at any moment in time. Not until you feel like you want to. You can come out tomorrow or you can come out in 20 years. The time to come out is different for everyone and you'll know in your heart when the time is right because you'll find yourself inclined to scream it out at the top of your lungs.
Anonymous
April 10th, 2015 12:20am
When you feel that you are safe, and that you will be safe telling. It is not best to come out when there is risk, but drop small ideas on sexualities and genders and what-not to see how the ones you are asking react.
Profile: Kel4055
Kel4055
November 12th, 2014 6:51am
When you are finished getting dressed. No I am joking, if you feel comfortable revealing your sexuality with your family members or if you are just plain tired of hiding it. Either way, you pick when you're ready and maybe you might never be.
Profile: Gracey
Gracey
November 8th, 2014 3:20pm
Whenever you feel comfortable enough to do so, it can be a scary thought but it is okay but take your time.
Profile: melodyowl130
melodyowl130
April 3rd, 2015 4:05pm
You should judge your environment first. If it is safe to do so, then go right on ahead. If you ever have any doubts with anything, it is best not to come out until a later date.
Profile: Waterbear
Waterbear
July 27th, 2015 6:10pm
When it's physically, emotionally and financially safe for you. And when you feel ready. Don't let anyone pressure you to come out before you're ready, because they may not understand that there might be worse consequences for others than for themselves. However, the longer you wait, the greater the chances are that your family will find out on their own, which takes away your chance to control the setting and can leave you vulnerable to accusations of dishonesty. Most families suspect ahead of time and some family members will do some quiet snooping while others prefer to ignore the possibility.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2014 10:18pm
To be honest, when you come out of the closet should depend on you. You shouldn't come out until you feel comfortable with who you are and until you're sure you're ready to come out of the closet.
Profile: Scrivener
Scrivener
November 15th, 2014 3:47am
When you're ready. There's never a single thing that makes you ready. It's always taking a leap, and you have to be ready for the results, whatever they will be. It's one of the scariest things that I've ever done, and yet, I don't regret it for a second.
Profile: poeticjewel95
poeticjewel95
November 6th, 2014 7:29pm
Whenever you are ready and prepared to. You have to be comfortable enough to be able to fully confess and tell what and who you truly are.
Anonymous
July 16th, 2018 12:59pm
Whenever you want to. It’ll be hard and there really is no perfect time to do it. Never come out though if there is a chance of danger presented to you
Anonymous
November 6th, 2014 1:18am
When you feel ready. Nobody knows your times more than you. And for that I mean that you should do it only if you feel comfortable about it. And the most important thing is: not putting pressure on it.
Profile: softWingedgiraffe33
softWingedgiraffe33
November 5th, 2014 11:05pm
Whenever you feel ready. It's entirely up to you. I'm slowly coming out at the moment and you have to base it on how you feel so that you don't get rushed. Feel free to message me if anyone is struggling with this ☺.
Profile: toristatersla
toristatersla
November 7th, 2014 10:38am
you should come out of the closet when you feel the most comfortable letting the people around you know about your sexuality
Profile: HamRadio4Life
HamRadio4Life
August 10th, 2015 10:20pm
Ask yourself if you feel comfortable and strong enough to face any reaction you may receive. You are who you are! No one can change that, nor should they try. Your family will love you no matter what and your friends will love you no matter what. Just because you are gay/lesbian doesn't change you as a person. Your sexuality does not define you in the slightest!
Profile: blissfulRainfall14
blissfulRainfall14
August 31st, 2015 9:31pm
Come out the closet when you are most comfortable , never rush it. The right time to come out will come! :)
Profile: Dan528
Dan528
August 4th, 2015 11:27pm
Nobody can answer this question but you. The choice to come out is yours, and yours alone. There is never a perfect time for this.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2015 10:59pm
This is such a difficult question to answer. But I feel as if I should come out when I am 100% sure that it's the way I feel.
Profile: NYCInspired
NYCInspired
July 7th, 2015 4:35am
Whenever you are ready. There is nothing more liberating than knowing that you can be who you want to be. Don't be afraid to tell anyone, because they will love you just the way you are. You have to give people time to embrace it, it's not an easy subject to bring up or to accept. Be yourself, that's what you're good at.
Profile: OQuinn
OQuinn
April 30th, 2015 1:47pm
When you're ready and realise that you don't need their permission or denial but their acceptance, that's when.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2015 6:00am
Whenever you feel the time is right. It is easier to come out to one person at a time. Start with your closest friend, someone that you can tell anything to and you know will support you. Talk to them about ways to come out to other people. Come out to your parents and ask them for help on how to tell other friends or family members also.
Profile: SophieTheLime79
SophieTheLime79
November 18th, 2014 12:48am
That is very simple - when ever you feel ready. That is not something you can rush, you should come out whenever you feel the time is right. I wish you the best of luck x
Anonymous
November 16th, 2014 11:09pm
whenever you are comfortable to. i actually am still in the closet about my sexuality and that is okay. you need to make sure you are ready and comfortable to. do whatever is best for you!
Profile: VDellW12
VDellW12
November 11th, 2014 1:54am
When you feel is a right time, only you can decide when. But just know people love and accept you just the way you are!
Profile: PhoenixMozza
PhoenixMozza
May 8th, 2015 12:49pm
when you feel ready and comfortable, and only you can know when that is :)
Profile: Gardeviola
Gardeviola
November 7th, 2014 3:34pm
It depends. If you live in a conservative area, your family, friends, or community in general have shown homophobic tendencies, you may want to wait, especially if you live in a small town where news travels quickly. But, if you feel you will be accepted by the people that matter, go ahead. You might not want to come out to the whole world at the moment, but find someone you can trust to tell,
Profile: Caotn97
Caotn97
November 9th, 2014 4:58am
When you are ready to. It's not something you should force upon yourself but let it happen when it does.
Profile: Aayla
Aayla
- Expert in LGBTQ+ Issues
August 26th, 2019 11:37pm
Whenever you feel ready. Coming out is a very personal decision, there's no right or wrong time, one should only do that if and when they believe they're ready, when they feel like the uneasiness of opening up will be surpassed by the freedom of being able to express themselves openly. It's up to you to decide if, when and how and with whom to come out, you can take all the time you need.
Profile: KarisSolace
KarisSolace
October 30th, 2017 3:13pm
There's no fixed time or age when you should come out of the closet! When you should come out of the closet completely depends on whether you would like to come out, how safe you feel coming out, and on a host of different factors that only you can determine for yourself. So, the truth is that only you can determine when you should come out of the closet, and it is a choice that only you can make. Please don't let anyone force or pressure you into it if you don't feel ready! Good luck, and please do message me or another listener if you feel like chatting!
Profile: Brendoodlee
Brendoodlee
October 3rd, 2017 12:04am
Whenever you feel ready for it! You should come out when you think its the right time, when you want to tell people about it, its important for you to accept yourself for who you are before telling other people.
Profile: Xstitcher
Xstitcher
September 5th, 2017 1:15am
Whenever you are ready. Don't force yourself, don't feel pressure from friends, family or culture. It is a very personal decision that shouldn't be rushed. Your sexuality is a personal thing between you and your significant other, don't feel pressure to be in or out of the closet. If you do happen to be in the closet though say hello to Aslan.