I'm a man and I feel comfortable in relationships with women, but I love to watch all male porn. I also love to wear women's lingerie. Does that mean I'm gay, bisexual or straight?
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Last Updated: 01/11/2022 at 7:24am
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There are different components here :
- gender (being a man = identifying as one),
- sexual orientation/attraction (being comfortable in relationship with women),
- gender expression (how you like to present yourself to others, according to cultural notions of what's masculine, feminine or neutral : clothes, accessories, make up, maners and behaviour, intonations of speech etc.. here : loving to wear "women's lingerie")
- subject of sexual arousal (loving to watch all male porn)
Those different notions are separate, even if they can sometimes interact.
So one can be a straight cisgender man and like to crossdress (most of crossdresser are straight cis men by the way) and be excited to male porn. I doesn't necessarily mean being gay or bisexual. Porn is about acts and imagination, not necessarily an attraction toward the actors you watch.
It's of course also possible to dissociate sexual attraction and romantic one : one can then be attracted sexually by both men and women (and non-binary people) but romantically attracted only by women. All combinations are possible.
Only you can know if you're potentially bi, straight or gay. You don't have to "try" to know, (most straight people won't think they "have to try to be in a gay relationship, just to be sure they're not gay" ^_~), but if you need to experiment, then feel free to do so.
About the crossdressing : you can ask yourself what it makes you feel to dress so. Is it linked to sexual arousal ? Or in a way of expressing your femininity ? Or because you identify as a woman / not a man ? Or for any other reason ?
If it's sexual, it's possibly a fetish, and that's totally ok :) If it's not, you can try to analyze if it's a permanent thing (you wear it or would like to wear it permanently to express who you are) or a if it's more like a disguise to break the gender norms (while still identifying as a man)...
About the porn : you can try to find out what different you're feeling when you watch it. But keep in mind that fantasms are just fantasms : it doesn't mean anything about your sexual orientation. What's right is what you feel right for you :)
Your sexuality depends on who you find sexually attractive and who you would enjoy having sexual activities with. Wearing women lingerie isn't related with physical attraction to men, it's just a personal taste in clothes, the fact that it is considered feminine is something cultural, it doesn't say anything about your orientation. And the kind of porn you watch doesn't necessarily mean you are interested in being engaged in that sort of activities. The real question is if you are interested in having sex with a man in first person. If the answer is no, you only like women so you are straight. If the answer is yes, liking both men and women would make you bisexual.
Anonymous
February 27th, 2018 3:02am
You are who you are, If your fine being with a female and have feelings for them then: ok, its your life and only yours to live. If you like the feel of wearing lingerie that's you, but there are a lot of different sexuality that like wearing them to. And the same goes for watching porn. As long as your partner and you are both ok with it them do it.
I am sorry I cannot tell you that. However, if you are in such a confusion, I would recommend you to take the Sexual Orientation Test.
Anonymous
February 22nd, 2018 3:02am
Bisexual.
Love,
Getrude
Not necessarily any of these- it can mean whatever you'd like it to mean! You get to choose what label you're comfortable with. There's no right or wrong answer: many people associate a sexual interest in both or all genders to mean bisexual, but the beauty in gender identity and sexual orientation is that it's about you and what you're comfortable with identifying as and with. I would encourage you to continue exploring this part of yourself and maybe try out different labels with people that you trust to see what fits you most comfortably! Best of luck with it!
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