When will this grief pain stop?

I'm really sorry to know that you are hurting right now. I haven't had first-hand experience of deep grief, but it is something that I have read about in moderate depth in an effort to help my best friend who was facing the loss of a parent. It's a difficult and often overwhelming thing, without question. And then there is the question that feels very real - when will it stop hurting or even, will ever stop hurting. While I would like to assure you that you would feel better, the assurance might be difficult to be felt for real since it's true that I am a stranger and I don't know anything at all about your life other than the fact that you are experiencing grief. But I would like to share one thought about grief that has brought some relief to my friend and for myself in processing the loss of someone precious. It felt slightly better - the pain was slightly eased - when it was thought like "with me continuing my life with love and kindness, I am honoring this person that was so dear to me". "The person is no more, and I am not happy about that fact and I really really wish I still had them with me 'in real' and tangibly. But maybe with my continued living, my life becomes an act of honor towards the person and they get to be present in spirit." I apologize if anything or everything I said makes you feel uncomfortable. I hear your pain and I really strongly wish for you to feel ease.

Grief takes a very long time to fully heal. Grief comes in 5 stages denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are different for everyone, and it may take months maybe years to fully recover. Try to focus on all the positives and good memories you had with them, and just know everything is going to be okay. Be sure not to keep these feelings bottled up, do not be afraid to talk to others and tell them how your feeling. Grieving is human nature, some days are going to be better than others, but you will heal, continue to keep their memory alive, and allow them to live through you.

In my experience, the pain of loss does not really "stop." It just gets a bit softer with the passage of time. Even several years after the death, you will continually encounter milestones such as birthdays, holidays and special days that are connected to the one you lost, and the pain will return in some form: sadness, blues, lack of energy, crying, anger, regret, and for no apparent reason. And the time span is very individual and unique to the person, depending on the nature of the loss, your own resilience, and a lot of other factors. The 5 stages of grief that we hear about, as described by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, are actually intended for the dying person, but somehow have become connected to the experience felt by the person grieving the death.