Why do I always think my husband is cheating on me?
194 Answers
Last Updated: 05/19/2022 at 2:13pm
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Brooke Bowen, LPC
Counselor
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Top Rated Answers
A lot of our concerns regarding an unfaithful spouse, if there are no real indications or clear red flags that they could be cheating, stem from our insecurities. I cannot speak for everyone, but from my own experience, I created my own demons in my relationships; I felt poorly about myself, pushed those insecurities onto my significant other, and almost convinced them that they were too good for me and bound to find someone better, if they hadn't already. I couldn't see the beauty and amazing traits about myself that he was attracted to, so I had nothing in my brain to convince me that I was worthy of a faithful spouse. What I did, and I don't know if this would work for everyone, is that I forced myself to write down all of the amazing things that I offer to the people I love; this made me realize and accept all of these amazing traits! I then asked my spouse to make a list of the great things I offer, then I compared his list to mine, and I realized that we listed a lot of the same things, but I also relished in the fact that he listed other things that I never would have thought!
Anonymous
April 8th, 2016 2:09am
Maybe you've been hurt before in the past by a significant other being disloyal. Talk to your husband.
well worrying about it is pointless because he's the one you have to spend all your life with . Why be negative in thoughts when you have a lovely husband to hold on ? The thinking might be a result of your own negativities and doubts on him due to insecurities . you can definitely change your thinking and lead a happy , calmer and peaceful life if you stop OVER THINKING.
Has he behaved in a way that's caused you to think that, or are you insecure about something? Can you talk to him about this? If he hasn't done anything to suggest that he is cheating, you may want to look at yourself and examine your feelings a little more closely? Do you trust each other? Do you share things and communicate enough? Do you accuse him of cheating? Has he ever cheated? Have you ever cheated? Do you think of cheating? Sometimes we project our own feelings onto others.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 9:31am
Maybe beucase you've had bad experience of someone breaking your trust and tiny little happenings are triggerin something in your mind that makes your brain match whatever is happening right now what you have experience with.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2016 1:56am
There are many reasons why you would think your husband is cheating. It could be from past experiences with either him or a past relationship. You guys are lacking communication. You feel that he isn't showing you as much attention as he used to. I could go on, but the key would be to talk to him.
Anonymous
August 29th, 2017 10:29pm
Might be your instincts telling you something. I always thought my last partner was cheating me but convinced myself it was my own insecurity and inability to trust. Someone actually told me that when I asked for advice. But sure enough, he was cheating on me.
Attachment issues and fear of being abandoned are very common fears, especially if one has been hurt in such ways in the past. Although one logically knows that they are wrong (unless evidence says otherwise), the nagging feeling often persists, and causes the individual distress. It's essentially what I would call a "conflict bewteen your mind and your heart". The bothersome feelings can often however, be alleviated by means of therapeutic techniques such as CBT, and behavioural techniques such as meditation. If one believes their issue to be pathological, then it is best to go see a psychologist or physician, as only health care practitioners are qualified to issue diagnoses and offer treatments.
It may be because you do not trust him and love him. Love and trust go together and when feel doubts and insecurities and you don't have any solid to prove your doubts then you need to look at yourself and see why you are thinking or feeling this way.
When you have something really great, it's easy to get caught up in your head imagining it not being there anymore.
Anonymous
April 29th, 2016 5:08pm
It's pretty normal. You're just afraid of losing your favourite person or getting hurt by him, but think about it too: The relationship doesn't make any sense when it's not based on trust.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2016 2:56pm
Your probably insecure, have you had previous relationships that your partner had cheated on you? Part of being in a marriage is have trust towards one another. Don't try installing software to track him, instead confront him, but don't accuse him of anything it will make him defensive. Start of by saying "I haven't seen you that much at home, is everything alright" "Is there something you need to tell me"
Due to some incident which has occupied in the subconscious mind may lead to think my husband is cheating on me
Because you love him so much that you are scared of losing him somehow, you need to ask him if he cheats on you so you will know the truth, if he lies only you know your husband.
The brain is a strange part of our body. It is always thinking harder than it actually should and can come up with some very far fetched situations.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 5:14am
Why do you think your husband is cheating on you? Are you feeling secure with yourself, in your own life? Sometimes we look for problems in other people when we ourselves are feeling lost.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 5:16pm
They're isn't enough trust in you marriage, I'd say. Trust is very important in a marriage if you can't trust your partner, how can you live comfortable with them? If there's always doubt and suspicion.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2016 2:06am
I think that you are the only person that could truly answer that question. Perhaps, it has something to do with past relationships or experiences. It could even be the result of a lack of security in your current relationship. Either way, you are not alone. You're even being realistic acknowledging the possibility that it could happen but that could be exhausting as a constant thought.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 7:01am
Maybe you are insecure of you have good reason, you can only answer this question as usually if we have the feeling it is because of signs. If there is no signals or evidence then be careful as insecurities can destroy relationships and state of mind.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2016 12:20am
Is there something that is making you have a lack of trust in him? Is it what he does or has done that makes you worried?
It is natural in a long term relationship to have the odd doubt, but unless you have full proof or a long conversation about whether or not they have cheated then it's hard to say why you necessarily feel like this.
Were you in relationships in the past which made you feel like this? Or have you yourself been in a position like this before?
Find more information within yourself as to why you feel this way about your husband, and your worries will wash away if you have full trust in eachother and can speak about these feelings openly.
Maybe it's because of something which has happened in the past and which made you doubt about him. Or maybe it's just because you're really stressed out and everything seems to turn against you even within your love life.
I'm not married but when I think about marriage, I feel like this will be a constant fear. I don't have any boyfriend or a romantic partner, but when I do have a crush and they like me back (which is very rare), I always have that feeling that they'll bump into someone better than me and forget about me. I guess it's because I feel less than and also my anxiety makes me fear everything.
Sounds like you have trust issues. Try discussing it with him, tell him your concerns and see how he reacts. Did you feel abandoned by your parents growing up? Not enough loved? Have you ever been cheated on?
Anonymous
May 20th, 2018 6:26pm
Maybe something similar has happened in a previous relationship and this is an insecurity that has stuck with you over time. Or maybe you love him so much that you can't bear to think how your life without him might be, so you're constantly worrying that something is going to go wrong and ruin the perfect fairytale you have panned out in your mind? It's natural, but if he's making an effort to be loyal, make sure you recognize it as this will help put your fears to rest as well. Give it a thought :)
Because you are afraid of losing him. Maybe because you have been cheated on and think he will do the same. Not everyone is the same. There is a reason he chose you to be his wife.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:56pm
Good question. Why do you? What evidence have you seen? Is it absolute concrete evidence? What has he said or done specifically that people who cheat do?
It all depends on 2 important things... One is trust and the other is mutual understanding.
To clear out this issue.. you need to talk to your husband and clear it out. This might get awkward for a moment... But does help for great relationship.
Maybe your over thinking or he is busy or not around that much but that doesnt mean he is cheating .
If you have a history of trauma from cheating in past relationships, it can be very difficult to overcome. Does your husband show signs of cheating or do you feel this impulse may be unwarranted? If you would like to talk with him about your fears, please try to remain open and optimistic about his answers. Explain that this is a fear and not an accusation. Good luck!
Anonymous
April 1st, 2016 1:16am
He maybe jealous or is starting to be bored. He may just be unhappy or something like that! It depends
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