I don't want to recover from Anorexia. I don't know how to get past this mindset?

I understand this mindset completely. I was unhappy with my body for a very long time. In fact, I still am a bit. But with this assumption I realized I was beginning to value appearance more than how a person is on the inside. I know it sounds very cliche, but even so, I've found I value OTHER people more on who they are than how they look, so why shouldn't I feel that way about myself? I started to force myself into a habit of forcing myself to only analyze the good things in myself, or at least only the things I perceived as good. This helped me to learn to love myself, and I slowly got over my anorexia.

Think about what you really want. Do you want to be ill or healthy? Do you want to enjoy food or avoid it? Do you want to avoid social settings or become the bubbly and great personality that you are? Do you want to live your life or just survive?

You are strong enough to know that getting past this mindset is important so you have it in you to get through it.

Dear, I know what you're thinking. You think that it is impossible for you to stop thinking about the calories in the food you eat and that you can't get past how fat you look in the mirror. I know it's hard but you have to let go. You are not fat- you're beautiful . You may not want to recover but it will lead you to great personal and social loss. Just believe in yourself. I'm sure you can do it

Recovering is a process and like everything else(like alcoholics for example) you need to be willing to give it a try at least, otherwise it doesn't work. However, it is part of the process to be scared at first and to feel like divided: one part of you wants to recover(or at least considers it since it has seen all the consequences it has for you and the ones you love) and the other doesn't want to have anything to do with it. It is like an inner war, but at some point you learn to accept that part of you that is scared, denies it and which does not want to loose the "control"(even if it is not real) and benefits that anorexia seems to have... and by accepting yourself as a whole, by learning to forgive yourself and by just being present in every step, you get past that mindset. Just connecting to your inner being, which is not Anorexia or any other disease.

It sounds like you do want to overcome these thoughts, but don't know how. Think about the reasons you don't want to recover, and try to find alternate (less harmful) paths toward those goals. Think about how your body makes you feel, and why. Once you've been honest with yourself and understand the reasons behind your feelings, you may be able to better focus on one problem at a time.

If you want to get past that mindset, that's a start to wanting to recover from it. Keep pushing yourself and you'll get it :)

Think about all the people who are about you and how this is effecting them as well. Also how if it goes any further you can really injure yourself.