Moderated by
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 5th, 2015 8:22pm
Wonderful question! First, I'm sorry your past has been an experience you wish to forget, but sadly, as human beings we know that this is all too common a desire for many of us. A lot of people here have spoken of engaging in new activities/adventures - excellent! What this translate to is moving forward. Those of us who have suffered abuse tend to stagnate, stay in one place, believe that our lives are only expressions of what happened to us in the past, so we wonder why even bother moving forward? The pain captivates us, literally keeps us captive from living our lives. Yes, taking that first step to move away from the comfort of that painful place (comfortable because you are used to it) is daunting. The future is always new and risky. You are in good company here at 7 cups, though. Many of us listeners and members alike have taken that step... when you posed this question, you did too. Realize this! It is huge. In a way, you have already started the ball rolling in regards to letting the past become just a series of facts rather than a barrage of continuous wounds in your present. Keep coming here and talking to those you trust. You will stumble and right yourself with a little support. I wish the best for you.
At one point in my life I was trying to completely run away from my past, and forget every aspect of it. Then I learned that the past, the memories associated with it, and the impressions we are left with aren't something to forget because they will always be with us. Instead, I learned to embrace and accept the past, only then could I happily move on with my future. Do it at your own pace though, and healthily : )
The best way I've found is to build your future and really concentrate on your future. Start making long term plans, try meeting a lot with people and making new friends, maybe move or change school/job (if they are connected in any way to what you're trying to forget), try and think of a few goals you'd like to achieve in your life and then start working on them little steps at a time.
The past it's gone. That's all you need to remember, ok? So, every time this "flashbacks" come or anything that can make you fell sad because of what happen' in the past, you need to smile. Because, if it's in the past, that means already happen. Now you need to make a better future, and the only way you can do this is if you forget your past.
You don't. You learn to accept that it is a piece of who you are, a piece of what makes you as a person, and move forward with the rest of your life.
It's kind of hard to forget your past, but you can build off of it. I always try to look at what I've done yesterday, last month or last year and come up with ways to achieve more than what I have already achieved.
The past is something that you never truly can forget, it's always going to be a part of you, but if you choose it can become what it is: just another memory. You have the choice to dwell on the past, or to move forward with your life. It's difficult, but if you're determined enough then you can do it.
Anonymous
October 8th, 2015 3:13am
I try to talk about it with friends and family but I have also tried to forget. Unfortunately that attempt has led me to promiscuous behavior.
in my earlier years i just thought of what happened always.. then I went to playing games.. then after games , now i go on socialising with people.. I joined an organization where my interests goes along with them.. step by step but worked for me.. just some mild emotions come to me
Anonymous
October 26th, 2015 7:34pm
Without our past we wouldn't be who we are today. We would be repeating our mistakes over and over again. Therefore, it may be a better idea if we can take a positive approach about our past, especially the negative part, to develop a mentally stronger, smarter and more mature personality. We can also use our experiences from our past to help others handle their situations better than we did, or if possible, help them avoid similar mistakes.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2016 11:10pm
Well, if you want to forget about the past then you just fill your mind with different memories, but i see the past as something that shouldnt be forgotten because the past is full of lessons.
I write down every negative emotion I had, situations or people that have had impact on those things in past. I needed to make myself grow trough the past and leave it all behind.
You can't forget your past. Your past created you, made you the person you are today. You can accept what happened and move on; put your focus on what is and what will be.
If you're dealing with extremely traumatic experiences, (hypno)therapy might help.
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2018 5:42pm
It sounds simple to some people but for others it is very hard for them to understand this but just focus on the future.
Instead of thinking how to forget the past, thinking about how to overcome the past helps. Coz memories are not in our hands to control them. It simply get registered in our brains. So the only way to deal with any negative past is to wisely manipulate them. In that process our "will" takes a crucial role to make the negativity weak enough. If we are WILLING to make it happen, half the work Already done. The main issue arises when one keeps their past as "badge of honour" unknowingly. Most of the people who got suffered in the past won't be enough to ready to let it go. This very attitude simply makes the past more sticky. This is where strong will power needs. Also having enough maturity to understand that, We are not responsible for someone else's immaturity or evilness. we are not some gods to block every negativity all we can do is learn from our past and getting a better version, that acceptance helps to reduce the impact of past to negligible extent. And yes it's possible!!
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