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How do you deal with depression after a breakup?

Profile: fairmindedPal3763
fairmindedPal3763 on Sep 12, 2015
Depression Expert
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2 weeks ago i was in an amazing relationship, or i thought. I was planning our wedding, We just found out we are pregnant with.. 3 babies. And overnight he advised me that he didn't want to be together anymore and then systematically deleted me from his life. From social media, blocked my phone calls etc . Fast forward 2 weeks and i was informed he has gone back with his ex girlfriend. I NEED advice on how to get over this pain because the betrayal i feel is killing me.
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Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 12, 2015
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The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but its not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person-- without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
Profile: turquoiseBranch3489
turquoiseBranch3489 on May 29, 2018
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for how long I am going to be depressed after a breakup. It has already been 5 weeks and I do not feel better at all.
Profile: whimsicalStrawberry64
whimsicalStrawberry64 on Nov 18, 2014
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I go no contact for a period of about three months- removing them from social networking/phone and gradually i start to feel better :) I make sure I keep myself busy with activities and meeting up with friends. A good cry now and then also helps to let out emotion
Profile: coolgirl999
coolgirl999 on Jul 16, 2015
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Dealing with depression after a breakup can truly be a heart breaking time, and sadly, one that we'll all have to experience. After a breakup, its extremely important to realize that you don't need to pretend that it doesn't hurt. You can admit that you still have feelings for this person, and that your feelings are valid. Make sure that you take time to care for yourself and have an amazing support system. if you don't feel you have that, you can always find it here at 7 cups of tea. we're all here to help.
Profile: Ifeelthesameway
Ifeelthesameway on Jul 2, 2015
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In my experience I deal with it by keeping myself busy and do the things I love, surround myself with my friends. Although it was really hard for me since I really loved the person and that I'm really attached to him before, everything I do reminds me of him.
Profile: alfonsojon1997
alfonsojon1997 on Jun 21, 2015
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Well, I went through a very rough time with a relationship of mine - it all felt so real, so right, and I thought I'd probably marry her some day. Life had other plans, and I moved to Wisconsin; and she found someone else and left me for him. I was heartbroken for a very long time, and it ended up making me irrational. I'd say to stay true to yourself, and move forward, no matter how much pain there is. I was basically mourning over spilled milk for months, and it got me nothing but more pain. Sooner or later, someone who's a perfect match will come your way, and you have to keep your eyes open to see it, rather than staying blind and in the past.
Profile: Tomislav
Tomislav on Aug 15, 2015
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Dealing with depression after a break up is certainly hard. Lot of thoughts drive through your mind. Was it about me? Wasnt i good enough? What could i have done better? These thoughts lead to depression. Feeling of low self worth and often a desire of revenge (if it was a rough break up) accompany it. It is hard to comfort someone going through a break up. Person is reminiscing good memories they had with a feeling of loss. It is necessary to comfort the person in such a way that wont blacken their former partner in their eyes, as friends usually do. 'she was a bitch' 'he doesnt deserve you' and similar thoughts can only worsen the guilt and/or depression and prolong the time of mental recovery after a break up. Comfort them with kind and encouraging words and tell them they need to face the facts and move on, as it is the only way to deal with a break up. I hope this answer helps, my dear questioner. Do not try to take revenge over your former beloved ones as your feelings of anger and depression will pass. It takes time but you ARE a good person and you DO deserve someone to love you. You will find them! Remember your former beloved ones with respect and dignity. And let them go.
Profile: shorelife
shorelife on Nov 9, 2014
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You look after your basic needs. You rearrange your space and shared things in a way that works for you and is decisive, Use your physical environment to mark a change, to draw a line. Get a new and better haircut. Avoid tubs of ice cream. Be kind to yourself and you wait. Change will come to you imperceptibly, until one day you will realise the sun is shinnig ad the birds are singing.
Profile: TorturedHeart34
TorturedHeart34 on Aug 12, 2015
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Well, i had a fresh breakup. And i thought that it is the end of the world. I felt this way for almost two weeks. And that was the reason i'm contributing with other people on 7 Cups of Tea :) . First you need to sit down with yourself and think about what happened for one last time! And if you are sure that you won't get back... So delete everything that remembers you with your ex. Think about your future, dream about what you want to do and start achieving. Would you like to be in one-sided love!? That is not love! You are torturing yourself. The common thing after every breakup which aches you is you think deeply inside yourself saying : maybe that is just a joke or a prank.... Maybe one day we will get back..maybe i get a msg from my ex saying he/she was sorry and let's get over that. So after all just move one. You will find the right person in the right time You she be independent. Never link your happiness to someone or something as you know everything is transient. Never lose hope or faith. And enjoy your life with your family or friends. Do the things which make you happy! :)
Profile: Eylul
Eylul on Sep 23, 2014
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Firstly, I think it as an experience. An experience which I will never forget about. An experience which will change all my thoughts, treats and future. The lessons I learned will always help me in my future relationships (either with friends or another one). What happens, happens and time will never stop for me. I will cry, be sad, but think it as a part of my life and continue. One door closes, another one opens.
Profile: Blueindigogal
Blueindigogal on Jul 4, 2015
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In my personal experience, break-ups are hard whether it is a romantic relationship or friendship. To cope with the depression that follows after a break up: 1. Tell myself that these feelings will pass over time 2. Look at all of the good times I had in the past with this individual 3. Ask myself, what were the “red flags” in the relationship that I have could been ignoring? 4. What will I do differently the next time? 5. Self-care, looking at all of the positive aspects of myself 6. I do something positive for someone else, someone always needs love 7. Prayer and meditation, the mind needs a moment to be clear These are all the things that have helped me to move forward from a break-up.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 9, 2015
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personally? i make it a point to take care of myself. because, at the end of the day, guess who's most important? you are, lovely. so take care of yourself and keep your chin up, because you've plenty of time to find a yin to your yang.
Profile: Pandette
Pandette on Nov 10, 2014
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Everyone deals with depression in their own way. The best thing you can do is try to focus on your daily routine. Don't change what you used to do (for example, going to the gym or watching your favourite shows during a specific time of day). Try to keep in contact with those that love you the most (friends and family). Don't push anyone away because all they really want to do is help.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jun 24, 2015
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Make sure you understand WHY the other person broke up with you. Not knowing will always put a weight on you and you'll keep going back to that same question. Next, understand that you are not less of a person. Just because that relationship or another one didn't work out, doesn't mean they'll all be that way. Also, understand your worth. You shouldn't feel any less worth of yourself just because it didn't work out with that one person or how many people. Try your best to move on and understand that just because the relationship is over, doesn't mean your life is. Your beautiful and wonderful no matter what! :-)
Profile: MorganC
MorganC on Sep 29, 2014
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Staying occupied. Doing things you love with a strong group of friends, going out more. Being occupied and doing things that you enjoy gets your mind off a break up. Also, consider getting out there! Sometimes it feels a lot better to start talking to someone new.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 13, 2014
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The pain was way too much for me to even comprehend for a while.. Watching my favourite movies, and tv shows took me out of the real world for a little bit and made me feel happy again. Distracting yourself can sometimes be one of the best things, especially right at the start when you don't want to accept what happened.
Profile: Michael77
Michael77 on Aug 1, 2015
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Breakups are usually pretty tough. You're left questioning yourself, your values, you own value as well as all of the 'woulda, coulda and shoulda' things. For me, after a breakup, after that initial sting passes, I always realized the things I'd not miss about someone, and how I'd start to be able to be myself again. I think we all adjust who we are to fit who we are with. Sometimes those changes aren't healthy, and sometimes the habits we fall back into after a breakup aren't healthy either. So, it's during this time that some self-discovery is a good thing, and possibly trying to learn how to be alone and ok with it. It's usually when we're not actively seeking to fill that void that we stand a chance of finding something real, lest we go in filling in the blanks with someone who may or may not work out for us.
Profile: redwhispers
redwhispers on Oct 25, 2014
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First off, you have to assure yourself that it isn't the end of the world. Second, do fun things with your friends to get your mind off of him/her, and try to take up some new hobbies. Pets also help too. :)
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 20, 2014
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Honestly, time is just about the only thing that makes the pain go away. Breakups are tremendously difficult to deal with, but over time you will meet someone or take up a new hobby that makes you happy, even if you don't think you will.
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