Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
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Tania
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Brooke Bowen, LPC
Counselor
I am nonjudgmental, supportive, and encouraging. I use an eclectic approach in order to empower you so you can have a happy and fulfilling future :)
Top Rated Answers
Self Positive talk, Learning that what you think and say can harm others and also make you feel miserable about yourself in the long run and it can cause arguments that you really do not want to happen . Always remember that what others go through we do not see , we only see what we choose to see. Open your mind and clear the negative thoughts and words and replace them with positive kind, caring words and know that no one is perfect and that we are all Unique and Loved . Judge not lest Ye Be Judge, Put yourself in the other persons shoes that you are judging. It is easier to love people then judge and hate.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2018 4:25pm
Changing a behavior or belief is easier when one understands the purpose it serves. By understanding this, we can make sure that the framework of our world view is kept strong and healthy. Judgement is one kind of Discernment (which means 'seeing how things really are'). This is necessary for us to live in safety, which is a very high priority for our nervous system. The difference between Judgement and Discernment is very simple, and very powerful: the first has solidified values, and the second is flexible and investigative.
What tricks people into becoming judgmental is that it is quicker and easier to assign a set value to a situation or challenge, than if one remains aware and open minded. It take effort to be Mindful, and much less so, to be reflexive.
So, if you really want to become less judgmental, you must be willing to put out the energy to challenge your beliefs about the meaning of things, and their relative importance to you. Though this is not Easy , it is Possible. There are several well known methods of starting this process, CBT, DBT and Meditation. Each of these works in different ways to help the person challenge their beliefs, thought processes and reflexive responses. Eventually, people can re-invent themselves and become the kind of person they might have imagined themselves to be.
First you need to think that you are a human and everyone else is, we are not created equally and each and everyone of us has different flaws and uniqueness. Being judgemental isn't a sin, we are entitled of our own opinion about something or someone else but other people deserves to be observed first before can they are judged. Think of respect, the highest form of respect is respecting everything and not judging them, if you have to judge someone you need to ensure that you know this person well and you are no lesser than that person if you don't want to be judged as well.
Anonymous
December 16th, 2018 3:42pm
Remember that nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws including you and that is fine. Also, some people might have excuses to what they achieve or what they do.
Everyone has a different story to tell with different challenges. Are you judging people for superficial reasons? We can all judge people who are different than us but it doesn’t help anyone because we sometimes might assume things when we are judging and assuming doesn’t help, it just creates anger and confusion. We shouldn’t judge other people because we are all flawed human beings and that is normal, nobody is perfect.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2018 4:44pm
The best way to stop being judgemental is to catch your judgemental thoughts when they come, and challenge them. For example, if you saw someone who's shoes you thought were horrendous, catch yourself thinking that and then look at the situation from their point of view and challenge the thought. They could have spent ages choosing those shoes out and they might really like them.
And If that sounds too hard, try to just acknowledging the thoughts to start with, and then letting those thoughts just pass by. Gradually work your way up into challenging the thoughts to become less judgemental.
The best way is to seek the good in people instead of the bad as well as practicing the ability to focus on yourself. Not everyone will meld with you well, and that's okay. That's why it is so important to mainly focus on yourself rather than the negative qualities of others. Once you can do that, you won't feel the need to judge; rather, you'll be more confident and embrace positive qualities. Judging usually comes from our own insecurities so ask yourself the deep questions on why you are judgemental, and then take the necessary steps to focus on you. Everything else will follow through.
only when we are in the same situations as other, do we truly understand without judgment. when you know the facts, and its not what others think or assume. whenever you are aware of being judgmental just think about how it could be you being judged. I am very critical of most things worth looking at. this as a learned defence mechanism which I developed through mistrust of others and being cynical. many times being judgmental has worked in my favour, as it probably has for you. the downfall is that it can end up becoming a behaviour and over years is hard to unlearn.
Anonymous
January 30th, 2019 6:25am
Give the other person the benefit of the doubt and try to imagine what life might look like through their eyes. You never know what may be going on underneath the surface, and everyone has their own insecurities, doubts, and mannerisms that originated from some aspect of their lives. We are all people who were born under some set of circumstances and have since then, navigated the world based on our best judgments. Maybe the person sitting across from you had a rough week or did not grow up with people like you. These things do not necessarily give someone a pass for inconsiderate behavior, but we have all been there. Additionally, be aware of your biases and make an effort to counteract them. Many of us have inherent biases that we developed overtime, but it is important that we recognize them as to be sure we are not allowing them to cloud our view of someone.
Understand. Instead of judging someone for what he's/she's done or how he/she looks, try instead to understand the person. Put yourself in their shoes. If you can achieve this, you have just showed yourself that you are capable of showing not only empathy and love, but understanding of where another human being is coming from - which in return will help you improve yourself and understand where you are coming from. We are all humans and we all make mistakes whether we want it or not - that is part of being human. Knowing this will make it easier not to pass judgement where judgment is unjustified!
Open your heart and accept everyone as fellow earthling, who is sharing the same planet as yours. Regardless of whomever we are, at the end of the day we do everythung that is most human and natural as each other. We breath, we talk, eat and sleep like everyone else. If the nature never stop us from enjoying all these resources without judging, we, the fellow humans shouldn't too. We all feel pain, love, hunger and everything at the same level. If there is something that we should do apart from judging is caring, loving and accepting each other. :)
Just try to be open minded. There is no exact way to stop being judgemental all you can to is try to stop. Talke to the people, make yourself a own picture of them and try to be open minder for new ideas. Try to accept views and ideas that aren’t your own as long as no one gets hurt by it and don’t stuck yourself on one idea. You will be surprised how easyer life will be and who knows, maby you will even find new friends that way! I wish you much luck! You’re an amazing person! Keep going!
I think putting yourself in someone else's shoes can help you to be less judgmental with others around you because then you kinda can understand why they are the way that they are. You can get a little taste of what a day in their shoes is like. Showing empathy and being understanding is something that i think is super important in life because it helps you better to connect with others around you. Being judgmental is something that we just automatically do, so it will definitely take some hard work and dedication to keep yourself from wanting to automatically making judgments on people.
First, I would like you to know that it is absolutely normal to feel judgmental. Humans have evolved to be judgmental in order to maintain their safety and well-being, and feeling judgmental does not make you a bad person at all. You have every right to form opinions on others.
Where we overstep with judgment in modern society is allowing our personal opinions of others and their actions to affect the amount of respect and care we show for them.
One of the ways I have reduced acting judgmentally towards others is to recognize what actions and words set off an emotional reaction in me that makes me want to say hurtful or rude things.
When I hear or see one of these triggers, I take a moment to remind myself inwardly that this is another human being, and that it is up to me to treat others respectfully even when I do not think well of them.
Try to think about their situation from their perspective. Why do we judge others? Its when we feel we dont understand what they are doing and why are they behaving a certain way. Try to be more empathetic. Do this exercise and see for yourself. Observe people around you. What makes them think the way they think and the way they do things. Why is it so different from how you think? And when you think and see things from their perspective you will realise that its because their experiences with life are different, their upbringing, the environment in which they grew, the people they met are different and that is what shaped them. Doing this will make you realise that what you think may be 6 must be a 9 for them. Be more empathetic.
We are all judgmental. Every we walk about in life making all sorts of judgments. Whether it's about somebody's outfit to their character. When I am in a situation where I think I'm being judgmental I remind myself that the person I'm judging is not myself. This is a whole other person with a whole other view on life and style etc.. how would I know if these are only pair of shoes they had? Learning to look at someone instead of down at them only helps our self. We might be able to learn something new or make a new friend or maybe even help out in the smallest way as long as we are looking at someone and not down on them. Judgement is good but just like everything too much of it is not going to hurt anyone but ourselves. Because eventually if everybody were to dress like us and be like us.. wouldn't the world be boring?
A lot of people are judgemental, it is easy for us to look at someone and make an assumption about that person. Try putting your self in someone else's shoes. In reality, if you think about it making assumptions is making "an ass out of you and me". When someone is looking for help and right then and there you start judging you may be setting yourself off from someone who could very well be your next best friend or someone who may be able to help you with a problem you have. Don't judge a book by its cover.
Anonymous
August 1st, 2019 10:06pm
Try to think of a positive comment instead of or before a negative. By initially complimenting or sending positivity instead of just judging you will slowly become less judgemental. It is natural to judge people or things - even though most people try not to.
From personal experience, I used to be very judgemental, and I still am judgemental. However I tried to think of one compliment for everyone I saw. I never actually voiced these compliments because it made me nervous but just having these positive thoughts gave me a better headspace. I can still be judgemental but by adding this positivity, I feel a lot less judgemental then a couple of months ago
Think about a time when you went through something difficult. Something others close to you or even acquaintances couldn't understand. Now remember the responses from the people you reached out to, if you shared your struggle. The people who supported you or empathized with you probably lifted your spirits, or at least made you feel a little better. Now remember the responses from those who didn't understand you and made you feel like they were placing a label on you that made you feel sad, bad, or ashamed and embarrassed for sharing with them. Which response did you prefer? Most people are going to agree that the kind, supportive and empathetic people would be their preference when sharing a problem because judgmental people either didn't help or made them feel worse. If you stop and imagine yourself in someone else's shoes, it may help you to judge less. Just remember that even if you can't imagine or understand what another person is going through does not mean their struggle is not real for them, just as your recalled struggle was very real for you when you shared it with someone else who was unsympathetic.
To stop being judgmental when someone is talking to you about there problems just listen. Do not think about them in a certain way just because you have learnt that people with certain looks, ideas or behaviors are wrong or not appropriate. That is just an opinion and everyone has one. Just try and understand what they need from you when they are taking to you about their problems or issues. Through this method you will be lest liking to judge them and more likely to be able to have an open mind and be able to help and support them.
Anonymous
September 20th, 2019 5:07pm
To stop or be less judgemental, a good exercise is to always try to put yourself in the shoes of the person before judging them. It's also important to keep in mind that everyone is going through their own things, that we may not know about. Another exercise is to think about what you would like if that was you, would you like to be judged or supported? It's important to treat others like you would like to be treated, so as to set an example and hopefully inspire people to do the same, and be less judgemental of others.
Anonymous
October 12th, 2019 7:43pm
The best way to do this is by reminding yourself that no one is perfect on this earth. We all have flaws of our own because we all are humans. And to err is human. We all make blunders in our lives. Whenever we feel like judging someone we should think that how would we feel if someone judged us? No one likes to be criticized. Even though we make mistakes, we want people to forget about that, we want people to only remember good things about us. Some people don't even care but most of us want to be in good books of others. We should try our best not to be judgmental because if we did that today, tomorrow somebody else would do the same to us.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2019 3:17am
Whenever I find myself judging someone, I immediately think, "no that's not how you should think! There's nothing wrong in [judged behaviour]. It's okay. She's just being herself, there's nothing wrong about that " And if possible, I think of one (or more) compliments for that person, so that I don't feel negative about him or her. For example I'll think "at least she's honest and true about herself, and that's great! Not many people can do that." And I may even tell her the compliment too.
So to stop being judgemental in any situation, think the opposite, and more positive thought. Give others the benefit of the doubt, instead of accepting the first (negative) thought that comes to mind. Challenge that judgemental thought.
Anonymous
October 30th, 2019 10:09pm
A good first step to stop being judgemental is to put your self in that persons shoes. Step out side of yourself and imagine that you are them for a moment, would you want to be judge the way you are judging them? What would you say to a friend who was going through this? Some times it is easy to judge people simply by the way the look or how they dress, but we all have our own demons and our own things we are working through. Work on understanding other people and get to know them for who they are on the inside.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2019 1:37am
A way to stop being judgmental is to educate yourself on issues and differences that other people may have. Then you can try to accept that everyone is different, and while you don’t need to agree with their views, don’t judge them; everyone is different and you may have never walked a day in their shoes so you don’t know how they feel. Also, just talk to people. Learn about what they are going through and maybe talking to them will help you be more accepting and less judgmental. Don’t make comments or decide your opinion is right before actually understanding or talking to someone.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2019 10:31pm
It's not the first thought that counts, it's the second. If you see someone walk onto a room and your first thought criticises them in a way you don't really want to criticise them, but then your second thought is "hey, self, you shouldn't have thought that that wasn't nice" then that's the thought that really counts. Sometimes there is nothing we can do about that first thought but once we realise we could do better and should, then I believe we can. You can always try to be less judgemental by working on that second thought though, to train ourself to see those not so nice thoughts and learn to correct them
An easy way that I have found to help you not judge others is to ask yourself, what might be causing that person to act, react, feel this way? And try to put yourself in there shoes. A lot of time we have No Idea whats going on in other peoples lives or what their situation may be. Also I don't think that it is our place to judge anyone. Even though it is in our nature as humans to do so. I try to think about how it would make me feel if someone just immediately judged me about something they really had no clue about whatsoever. That doesn't even remotely sound fair.
Being judgemental is something that everyone is; there's no shame in it. There isn't a single person out there who hasn't once judged another person, no matter what they say! You aren't alone. Stopping so abruptly isn't easy, either: it takes time. What could be important to recognise is, everyone is different, everyone is unique, and nobody is perfect. I believe that this is the first stepping-stone in becoming a non-judgemental person; seeing that no one is the same, but different. This is just a simple fact; there is no single perfect person - equality, diversity and acceptance are all key in today's society.
I work on this problem for myself all the time, and I feel like there is no way to be non-judgmental because we will always have initial thoughts about something. Therefore, I interpret this as how to inhibit yourself from voicing these judgments. I think it's crucial to understand perspective about anything because your judgment will always be wrong. You will never fully understand someone enough to judge them and therefore you have no authority to voice your opinion on them based on the small glimpse of their complex life you have witnessed. By understanding this, it humbles yourself so that you aren't quick to judge others and also understand the importance of understanding others.
This is an incredible question, but it is quite hard to answer. Being judgemental is a part of our human nature, so we must accept that we may never be able to fully stop being judgemental. That is not a bad thing though, sometimes the ability to make a judgement is useful, for example risk assessments before crossing a road - we need to be able to make a judgement about when it is safe to cross the road so that we can stay safe. That said, we should strive to combat negative judgements. This is difficult, we can begin by telling ourselves the reasons that a person has acted in a certain way or why our current situation has ended up the way that it has. Bear in mind that making a judgement isn't harmful in itself, the way we share it or act up on it is. Remember, if a judgement could be harmful to others, it may be best to keep it to yourself.
I hope this answers your question, if not then feel free to reach out to me.
Have a lovely day,
emi
Anonymous
January 10th, 2020 9:02pm
Since you're asking this question, you've already taken the first step - you've noticed you're judgmental. Now comes the hard work of noticing when you're acting that way, when you are experiencing that pattern and working on changing your mindset. When you get better at observing you will find it easier to act upon this too, and by that I mean that you can take a moment to notice when you're about to be judgmental or harsh towards someone and just stop. Give yourself a little time and then either say nothing if you have nothing nice to say, or, when you become more in control, try to politely inquire about whatever brings out the judgmental feeling in you and to learn more about it. Sometimes we judge because we don't have adequate knowledge on a topic.
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