What's the best way to stop caring about someone who doesn't care about you ?
169 Answers
Last Updated: 05/17/2022 at 3:45pm
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Jill Kapil, PsyD
Psychologist
I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous - Expert in Breakups
June 17th, 2015 6:10am
First, you must recognize that you're attachment to another is amplified by the insecurities you harbor. You must accept this, and then you must forgive yourself. Instead of trying to gain the approval of another, approve of yourself, and practice loving yourself with positive affirmations and positive imagination. Once you fully accept and love yourself, the approval of another will have little to no effect on your peace of mind, and your deepest desires will attract to you magnetically
I've had the same issue before, and still kind of do. You can't force yourself to just stop caring/loving someone, it's just not normal or healthy to drop feelings that easily. Kudos to whoever can do that but I surely can't. But, to numb the feelings a little bit, I sometimes just constantly remind myself that the person doesn't share the same feelings and that they aren't good enough for me or don't appreciate my many, great qualities I have and that I shouldn't waste my time caring about someone who doesn't care about me. I'll be honest, it's a lot harder then how I explained it.
Is it really that you want to stop caring about them, or is it that you want to start caring about yourself? I think it's possible to love someone without exposing yourself to the feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, or just "not enough-ness" that you feel whenever you try to interact with them and find their response (or lack of response) uncaring. Sometimes this does involve not interacting with them as much, or not looking at social media or things that remind you of them, but it is not so easy to control your thoughts. So don't punish yourself whenever you find them entering your thoughts; you don't have to entertain the feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, sadness, depression that they bring up, at least not permanently. You do not have to intentionally dwell on them or check up on their Facebook to see what they're doing, if you realize these activities send you into a spiraling depression of doom each time you engage in them. Pay attention to how you feel when you take certain actions. You can realize that certain feelings are indeed there, even if you aren't intentionally dwelling on them, and also know that you had a life before this person, and so you can have a life after them too. You still have traits and interests that are uniquely yours. Engage in them, and talk to the people who do make you feel cared for, or just spend time with yourself. Self-compassion is one of the most helpful responses and best things you can do for yourself. Examples of self-compassion include: sleeping when you need to sleep, letting yourself have outlets for your distress, phrasing your self-talk in a gentler manner, staying away from people or situations that make you feel down on yourself (if possible to avoid them). If eventually this person falls out of your life and you don't care in the same way that you once did, that's OK. It can happen and it does happen. But don't make this your aim for right now. Perhaps it simply feels too destructive or too unkind to your nature to make yourself stop caring. Make it your aim to care about you; direct that loving energy toward yourself if the other person will not receive it. The rest will fall into place as it is meant to.
Out of sight out of mind, out of mind out of heart. Never lose yourself in trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you. Letting go is showing you have control of yourself, and the only one you can control is you! Take your mind of of it and engage in stuff you enjoy, hobbies/sports/friends, keep your mind busy and at times talk about it. It helps :)
Just leave them alone say you've had enough and if they truly care they'll come back but in time, you can not force them to care.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2016 8:54am
Move on. Life is too short to care about someone who does not care about you. Focus on the people who really care about you.
We cannot stop thinking about someone that easily, but time brings the change. Every human is unique and we cannot always expect the same thing from others in return as we do. Accept the reality that, those who doesn't care for you are not really worth for you. You deserve better in all possible ways. Say this to yourself everyday when you wake up from bed. Good things happen tho those who do good to others, and let you wait patiently till you find someone who cares you so much than you ever do. May god help to those who help themselves in getting out of this pain:)
Anonymous
March 30th, 2016 3:42pm
Move on! Don't waste your time on them! As soon as you start ignoring them, they will realise what they've lost.
Time is the only way to heal completely. It is impossible to automatically stop caring about someone; however distractions can help. Remember that every second you spend focusing on the person who doesn't care about you is letting them have control over your thoughts and feelings.
Remind yourself about how special you are. Do you really think you deserve someone who doesn't appreciate you? There are better people outside love :)
Anonymous
December 9th, 2015 12:12am
This can be something very hard to do! But when I was in a situation like that I just thought about it this way...Why should I keep putting my energy and love towards caring for someone who doesn't care about me. It was really hard to do but I had to realize that it was best for me. This quote also made me realize that it was best to let go "It hurts to let go but sometimes it hurts more to hold on."
Find whatever it was in them that made you care about them so much, and start looking for it in everyone you meet. You might find it's not as rare as you thought, and that there are other people that have those characteristics and will return your affection.
Believe them. And leave. Don't beat yourself up about it. If they don't care about you, and it seems like you're not even a bit important to them, leave them be. Just ignore them. That's probably the best way.
Dare to place yourself in his/her shoes for a moment. Consider yourself, from their perspective. Think of all that is wonderful about you, all that makes you you, all of which you are proud. Add to that the fact that this person has the privilege of being cared about by you. Now, still in the shoes of this person, let this all wash over you thoroughly, and in the end, say (as if you were them): "I don't care about him/her." Let the cold, brutal reality of that statement run down your spine.
Life is short. Don't pass up the chance to enjoy being cared for deeply by wasting energy on those who will not do so!
Anonymous
April 17th, 2015 4:02pm
You don't forget about them. You should just keep a mantra to yourself saying that you want to stop caring and tell yourself the reason why you want to stop. Based from experience.
Think about what makes you believe they do care about you. (ex. they get mad when you do something wrong like talking to someone else)
Ask yourself why they get mad (ex. because it hurts their pride)
now ask yourself if they're really getting mad because they care about you or because it effects their personal pride and ego.
get down to their true motives, not how there actions make you feel.
and you will view the situation differently once you know the true meaning behind their actions
Realize is not worth the heart ache and stress having to think about something that upsets you. Know that the most important person in your life that you need to care for is you.
It sounds like you are upset with someone as you do not feel that you are being cared about. Is that so ?
Don't talk to them temporarily. You need to not think of them. You can't get over them if you're still talking to them. Delete their number, pictures, EVERYTHING that reminds you of that person. You need to rid your life of them, and when you realize you don't care about them anymore you be their friend. And if they still don't care about you enough to atleast be your friend, don't ever waste your time on them again.
The best way to overcome a relationship that is not reciprocal is to recognize that healthy relationships are equal. The best relationships, whether with friends or romantic partners, are the ones where both people give and take equally. Those are the relationships that you should nurture and grow. Imbalanced relationships will only cause harm and negativity in the end, even without intent. However, it's important to also realize your capacity for Love. At some point most of us will experience a non-reciprocal relationship. During these times it is important to recognize that you are not doing anything wrong by having feelings for someone who may not feel the same way...you are only demonstrating your capacity and ability to Love. And that is a beautiful thing! Most people will appreciate that whether they feel the same or not.
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2016 1:33pm
The best way is to realise how important you are. You have a purpose. You exist, and therefore, you matter. When someone doesn't care about you, it's about their insecurities and limitations and has nothing to do with your worth. Because everyone is worthy and deserving of care and love.
It has been my personal experience that once I care about someone I will always care about them. With that said, it does not mean that person will be close to me in my life. I wish them well. For me, getting on with life and moving forward with what matters to me will usually put my caring in the right place .
sometimes its difficult to Accept this fact that the one we care about so very much, doesnt care for us at all. in that case , i believe we should accept this fact that the other person doesnt care about us and slowly and gradually move on, it may take some time, but yeah you'll Move on ;) :D
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 2:17pm
make yourself busy, and try not to greet them occasionally because the more that they know that you care about them they will try hard not to care about you.
The best way, is to deeply want to. Sometimes we force ourselves into certain attitude, and the heart just can"t be fooled. So we must be really deeply aware that caring for that person is of no use, that it's a weight we are carrying alone and we must let go of it. Then and only then can we let go.
I think the best way to stop caring about someone is to just let your emotions run their course. Fighting those feelings will only make it worse.
just love the person more and more. one day the person must be notice it.. don't think what other doing for you you just do for yourself.
I think you can't immediately stop caring about someone. You have to be patient. You should start spending more time with people who care about you and slowly observe the difference. Things will start changing automatically.
Anonymous
February 5th, 2016 7:37pm
You just have to indifferent with him/her and it will do the thing. But to be very honest one never stops caring about person they were once close with.
Try and take some time for yourself. Work on benefiting your life for you instead of negative people.
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