Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
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Tania
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Kajsa Futrell, RTC
Counselor
I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2020 6:18pm
Getting over an ex is a difficult obstacle. However, no obstacle is too great to overcome. I went through a similar experience in middle school and high school and it was quite challenging for me to stop missing my ex when we were over. I found the best thing to do was join other communities. I joined other sports team and clubs around school which helped me meet new people and focus my energy into other collaborative efforts. Furthermore, it helped me avoid having spare time on my hands, where my mind might have wandered towards my ex. I really hope this helps!
Anonymous
October 25th, 2020 7:19pm
(My opinion) To stop missing your ex, you should block him in social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You should block him so that you will no longer updated on your ex. You should also avoid having communication with him/her and do not stalk. Also, do not ask someone like his friends about your ex. Delete all the memories that you have (pictures/videos). Throw/burn the gifts that your ex gave. But if you want to keep it, put it on the place that you cannot see those stuffs like storage room i think. Keep yourself busy. Another, start doing things that can improve yourself. If you want to learn how to paint then try to practice. If you want to improve on academics then go.
When the pain is feeling strong, take a deep breath and concentrate on your breathing . Ask your gut the honest question - 'Were they good enough for me?'
Reflect on why they have ended up being your ex?
Put a time limit on grieving your loss. 1 day? 1 week? Are they worthy of this time?
If you were told you had a month left to live would you spend time missing your ex or would you live in the present? With your family/friends who genuinely love you!
Be strong, move along your life path without resisting it any longer. This is your path, be grateful for the time you had, the love you felt and move on x x x
Anonymous
November 11th, 2020 8:39pm
Accepting that missing them is okay is the first step. Be mindful and accepting of the fact that you miss them. It is okay. Next step, would be to accept the good things about them - the memories you created, their positive traits. And then, you need to remember why they are your ex. What caused your relationship to end? Were they truly good for you? Do you really think you wont find anyone better? - Something that worked for me in the past, was distracting myself by focusing on me - i.e. creating good habits for myself (working out, creating a productive schedule, putting my mental health first).
I can tell you from personal experience that it is not easy, but it is possible. Focus on yourself, because yo only have yourself at the end of the day. Life is too short to worry about what your ex is doing, who they are with, or what they think of you. Often times, we as humans, look back on past experiences and wonder why it didn’t work out but we don’t have the answers to all the questions and we most likely never will. Just accept it for what it is because if your ex loved you, it wouldn’t have ended the way it did. Love yourself first because you are worth so much.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2020 6:04am
I have found that the best way for me to stop missing my ex is to redirect my thoughts when I find myself feeling like I miss them. It can be hard, but at the times when I feel myself thinking about them, I tell myself no and force my thoughts somewhere else. Giving into the thoughts can feel nice int he moment, but they can also allow you to condition yourself to continue to have them. Stopping yourself and changing your train of thought will slow down the incidence of the thoughts of missing them and eventually they will disappear and you will realize that you don't miss them anymore.
It's understandable to miss your ex but, you will have to learn to accept the present. Focus on your self and your journey of self love. Once you realize your worth, you will accept who comes in and out of your life. You can start this journey by creating a new routine that will be beneficial for you like exercising, journaling, reading a book, or whatever activity that helps you express yourself and feel good. I recommend to make new friends that can help you along your journey of finding self love. Friends can help you find new activities and try new positive experiences.
It is really hard to move forward once you attached to someone. Time to time you may worry about your decisions and you may missing your ex. First understand why he or she became an "ex". There may be a strong reason for you to take that decision. Ask yourself whether you are really ok without your ex. In other words ask yourself why you miss your ex now. Is it because memories trigger your emotions or else. Choose wisely. Your life is really important and you should love yourself first. Think whether why you loved him or her and what were the reasons you had to leave them. If you can justify your reasons it's better you focus more on you and do things that make you live and be busy on making yourself a strong person.
Anonymous
December 17th, 2020 11:07am
Delete contact, delete pictures, delete off of all social media accounts. Go out with a close one, love yourself & remember who's boss. Honestly better off without anyway, I always find new hobbies! I tend to go out to the club to take my mind off my ex, it only works for that moment. Having company around is the best thing ever though I may admit. But yes loving your self is one of the key things, give your self a make over, remember your worth queen trust me it works. Turn on the radio, blast the speakers in the shower & what not
Break ups are very difficult phases in life. You invest your time with a person, you love them, you might even have imagined a future with them. It's natural that you shall miss your ex, so first, do not belittle yourself or call yourself a wimp. To stop missing them, it's a good idea to not go over old pictures, avoid sad/romantic songs, and probably romantic movies and novels too if they're too strong a reminder. You could meet up with friends and family, as that's better than being alone. You could start something new, or start learning something new to give yourself a fresh start. Invest in hobbies. Engage in work. But, most of all, remember that it's okay to cry and feel sad, and it's also okay to not feel so.
That is really tough. It's never easy to move on from someone you loved at first. But if you keep yourself busy and find hobbies that will make you not think of him again. You will find yourself not missing him or her anymore eventually. 7 cups actually helped me with the process of forgetting and missing someone. I am glad I found this site as I felt I have no one to talk about what I am feeling before I found 7 cups. Eventually, I tried being a listener to keep me more busy and it does helped me a lot.
Anonymous
January 17th, 2021 5:13am
These are some possible ways to either avoid or to totally forget about him/her. No.1) Learn to move on. In the sense always be mentally prepared before getting into a relationship that somethings don't last forever. No.2) Talk to a family member or a trusted adult. If not comfortable enough to talk about what happenned between the 2 of you you can talk about something else. All I want to say is that, don't spend time alone. No.3) Plan campaining or sleepover with friends. You can play games talk a lot. No.4) Learn something new. You can practice some math problems and riddles and puzzles. No.5) Play with an animal. If you have a pet then spend your time with him. If you don't then you can either buy a new one or play with, your friends.
Letting go of someone you care about is quite challenging, in my experience. The best way I think to stop missing your ex is to start focusing on your own personal growth. If you have a specific friend you like to hang out with, then try doing that. Anything that allows you to focus on something other than your ex is a good thing. You may have to start out small and work your way up, but in time you will start to miss them a little less at a time. Eventually they will become a memory and you can make new memories.
Break-ups are hard. The aftermath is even harder. You can't just stop feeling what you're feeling, even it's difficult to bare. Negative or unwanted emotions have an important role in teaching us who we are. They cling to us like velcro and are just as loud when you try to get them off.
Getting to the root of clingy emotions, missing an ex in this case, is no easy task. First you need to want to. And to find out, asking yourself these questions might help:
What does this emotion/state do for me? Does it feel safe, familiar? Am I used to it? Am I afraid to let go? What would my life look like without feeling this way? You might get surprising answers, but I won't spoil it for you. I'm just here to listen. So, reach out to someone you trust and don't hesitate to contact a mental health professional if it gets too hard.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2021 3:29pm
At the beginning is hard but probably by trying to keep yourself busy, like socialising with friends, spend some time with your family, doing some sport and travel around. This will help you to not been thinking about you ex. However, if that person comes to your head try to think the facts that made you relationship to finish and what went bad so you can see why that relationship has ended and why you need to get over that person and carry on with your life. After a while, you will realise that you are not even thinking of your ex.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2021 9:14pm
it is difficult to move on from someone that you care about. It doesnt matter how long you've been with someone- the connection you have can be intense. or strong and feelings still linger after a break-up. The more you focus on you, the less you will focus on the past. Do things that you look forward to, do things that make you happy and you find joy in. Over time, things will be easier and one day, you will wake up and realize you haven't thought about the ex in a while. When that day comes, you acknowledge and continue to live life as you have.
Because the emotions surrounding breakup can be very raw as they happened unexpectedly it can be incredibly difficult to detach from that person you spent your time with regardless of how long or short the relationship was or especially if this was your first romantic relationship. You can find happiness and satisfaction with other things in life - please know this! You can focus your time on hobbies like knitting, drawing, singing, etc. It's also a good idea to surround yourself with people who love and care about you and who you return those feelings for. Giving yourself something else to think about will help you move on without doing anything you might regret. You could also talk to someone close to you like a friend you trust about their experiences with breakups and see if they have any suggestions that would be more personalized to you! If feeling uncomfortable disclosing your thoughts and feelings about your ex with friends there are listeners or online therapists you can communicate with on our site who have personally experienced breakups, relationship stress or have specialized in these areas. I can understand that communicating about a subject so heartbreaking for you can elicit the fear of being judged but sharing experiences can help you develop that inner acceptance of yourself. Relate is an example of a relationship organization to look out for on any support with what your experiencing. To be in a place where you are satisfied without your ex being a part of your life takes time, reassurance and self-compassion!
we all have these struggles, and it's about missing your ex. we are all human and as cliche as this sounds, time heals all. i think the most difficult part about an ex is replaying your memories with them over and over again. even if the relationship was mostly negative, our brain is wired to remember more of the positive memories when someone is out of our lives. i will say, you will be hurting for a bit and you will be in pain. but the best thing you can do for yourself is to work on you, focus on you, and focus on activities that can turn you into a better person.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2021 8:03pm
By learning to love myself, fully and wholly. Accepting my mistakes, acknowledging my strengths and weaknesses.
Spending time on my personal goals, self-development. Doing the things I love. Focusing on my career goals working on becoming the best version of myself. You will miss you ex, and it will take time to perhaps, eventually stop thinking about them and missing them. If you do feel emotional, do not try to avoid it, or try to discard it. It is best to feel the emotion at the present time, and let it pass. Burying feelings or avoiding them can lead to more complex emotional and mental health issues , that may prevent you from making peace with things.
I think that in order to stop missing you ex, you should start by accepting that feeling a bit of sadness and anger is normal. So stop beating yourself up for having emotions. Don't fall into power games such as "he's winning the break up." Then, write in a piece of paper all of the things that you are gaining by being separated from him or her. Realize that you might be idealizing the past relationship. Don't feel bad for having to tell the stories about what you miss about him/her, but either make sure that you are telling them to a very good friend, but its also better to come here talk to a virtual listener on 7cups.
Anonymous
April 18th, 2021 6:39pm
I know you can’t help it. It’s your emotions, it’s the memories, it’s everything rolled up together. But somehow you need to find a way to move on. Hang out with friends and meet people when you go out, it doesn’t have to be a romantic connection, maybe someone you could catch a movie or grab an ice cream with. You know… a friend... GYM Everyone says physical activity is a great way to get over someone, because it’s true. If you’re feeling stressed and anxious, the best thing you can do is to sweat. This not only slowly puts you into tip-top shape, but it helps release your hormones and reduce your stress and anxiety levels. So, get that playlist ready :)
Anonymous
June 24th, 2021 6:19pm
Accepting and coping with sudden changes in our life can be difficult for most of us. Once you meet someone who you think is the love of your life and your soul mate we can have a harder time letting them go. Engaging in activities that we enjoy and that keep us busy is one way of dealing with this. Learn to enjoy other things, activities, meet new friends, take a trip solo, re-discover yourself. You might not stop missing your ex instantly but at least you can learn to move on and to hold on what really matters: yourself
Anonymous
July 7th, 2021 12:36am
That's a very hard question to answer. It's not an easy task but you will get through this. The key to getting over or past a relationship is to keep busy. Whether it be friends and family or an outdoor activity by yourself. Keep yourself surrounded by positive influences you can speak to that will listen to you. It is good to talk to people about what is going through your mind. Try not to recluse or stay at home or in your room for days upon days. Do something productive with your free time. Hiking, running, walking, riding a bike, golfing. I meant there is a multitude of activities to do. Overall keep yourself busy and in the presence of friends or family. There's always AA meetings you can go to that will help out as well. Keep your head up. Take that next indicated step forward. This too shall pass. rf
Anonymous
July 17th, 2021 9:12pm
You accept that the relationship has ended, you acknowledge the good, bad and ugly times and you find peace in knowing that you have a good lift to live! It’s important that we don’t forget how amazing it feels to be alone and to be in love with ourselves before anyone else! There might be a million and one things that you loved about that person, but getting closure by having a last conversation, blocking them on all platforms and getting rid of any possessions that remind you of them might be a good place to start! What’s meant to be, will be.
Anonymous
July 22nd, 2021 11:40am
There's not a trick that would immediately make you 'stop' missing your ex. Obviously, you spent some time together and it's okay to miss them once they're gone. You'll yourself realize that with time, you'll think less about them and things would start to make sense again. It's not a straight path and there will definitely be many barriers in your journey but maybe you'll meet someone else who'd mean more to you than your ex ever did and maybe then, you'll not miss them as frequently and intensely as you do now. You can't do that overnight, that's for sure.
Ending a relationship inevitably creates a physical and emotional void. The best way to cope with that is to fill that emptyness with positive things.
You have more time and space in your life to dedicate to hobbies and spend time with friends - or to take up new hobbies and make new friends - so why not do that?
It's important to notice that this is a time for emotional fragility. This often leads to seeking someone to quickly replace the one we miss.
A more healthy approach is to give yourself time to heal. When the healing is done, you'll be able to think more clearly and make better choices for yourself.
It's also important to be gentle to yourself.
It is perfectly normal to miss someone who has been a part of your life, even if for a short while. It happens to almost everyone during their lifetime, and it's never easy.
When you feel it's too much, know that don't have to take it all alone. There's always someone on 7 Cups who will gladly listen to you.
Firstly, trying to avoid missing someone really doesn't work. Generally, people try to distract themselves so tehy done have to deal with the emotional turmoil of the separation and so in doing so it only amplifies how you feel about the separation. If you think about how its made you feel, why you feel this way, and dig deep into the emotions of the issue that's where the healing starts. Talking to others helps as well, and realizing that this isn't the end but the beginning of a new life for you. All breakups are emotional and can take time to heal from, so be kind to yourself and learn to be in the moment and relax .
The answer to this is very subjective and the only person who can truly answer this is you. Some people find distraction can be very helpful. For example, some people can find it valuable to throw themselves into a hobby or a club so they don't have the time to think about it. Some people like to form connections with other people, romantically, sexually or platonically. This gives you the opportunity to feel emotions and bonds with others, perhaps even in the way you felt with your ex. This can help some people to recover from missing previous partners as it reminds them they're able to feel this way with others too. Other people may find it helpful to feel the emotions full force and take the opportunity the cry or make themselves hurt more for set periods of time. This can help some people as they feel able to get over the pain if they have the ability to feel the grief of the relationship rather than ignoring their emotions. This method should come with a warning though as it often makes people feel worse as they allow themselves to dwell in the pain of the previous relationship.
First, it is important to acknowledge and valid all your emotions because what you are feeling is completely okay. It is hard to miss someone that you were super close too and one thing that really helped me was keeping busy and surrounding myself with my friends and family. Often times, it can feel like you lost this big part of your life when you break up but another way to look at it, is that you have lived and learned. In addition, you now have more time to focus on what makes yourself happy and work on achieving your own goals. It is definitely hard to keep on thinking about them but surrounding yourself with people who love you will remind you that you have still have so much support and love in your life.
This question seems to be one that is asked quite often. Your ex left an impression on your mind. Your brain has developed pathways and memories surrounding them and so those will be hard to shake. To stop missing an ex, you can take a couple of routes. The first is to acknowledge that you and this individual have broken up for a reason. Identify those reasons and try to remind yourself of why it might not be a good fit. This logical rationalization of your breakup can help you to gain a steady footing while sorting out all the emotional turmoil caused by losing someone. Another great advice that will help tremendously is to remove reminders of this person. This means deleting phone numbers, removing them off social media, getting rid of old photos, etc. These things serve as reminders to your brain and so those "healing" pathways will be reopened with each reminder. It is like picking at a cut and not letting it heal.
There is a lot more, but these two things seem to be a good starting place on the road to recovery. I will caution strongly against trying to remain friends with your ex at this time if you still have strong feelings for them- this will only complicate things in your mind and will likely lead to more pain than it will healing (when you spend time with them, it may feel great, but once you're not with them, it will likely feel emptier and more frustrating than before).
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