Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Why am I so nervous around my girlfriend?

203 Answers
Last Updated: 06/05/2022 at 10:59pm
Why am I so nervous around my girlfriend?
Take the first step toward feeling better
Begin your therapy journey today and receive $25 off (use code 25OFF7C)
Moderated by

Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.

Top Rated Answers
Profile: GenerousCreature
GenerousCreature
August 10th, 2019 5:08am
If you are so nervous it means that you probably have something inside that you need to clarify. You could surely start to self-analyze yourself, understand if you feel nervous around her always or in some specific situation. Do you feel nervous because you are uncomfortable, embarrassed or for another reason? it is important to be able to understand when, how and what triggers your feeling of nervousness when you are with her. This is the first step to better understand the situation, ask yourself questions. Furthermore, communication has a great role in relationships. So, at the right time and in the right way, it would be good to express your doubts and feelings to your girlfriend. She could understand your fears and help you, step by step, to resolve the situation.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2019 6:10pm
You like her and you want her to like you back! I'm sure you're subconsciously afraid that you'll slip up and she'll change her mind about you. But since she's already committed to being your girlfriend, I find that pretty unlikely. :) For some people, it can be really difficult not to be nervous around their significant others. It could take some time for you to get more comfortable around her. And it's okay to be nervous. Though it's never fun, no one should judge you for this regular human reaction, and it doesn't make you any less fun or interesting to be around.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2019 5:36pm
You're probably thinking about what she is thinking about you. Like if she's judging you or something. And also you might also think that you might or might not say something stupid. Some feeling insecure about yourself can lead to being nervous around your girlfriend. So I would like to say try relaxing when you are with her, might be kinda difficult but not impossible. I would also like to say that if she is really carefree and seems like talking to you, you shouldn't care about being judged by her and she isn't thinking about being judged by you. Hope this help.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2019 6:54pm
Sound like you have challenging time to be around your girlfriend Nervousness feeling cause too much pressure on behavior and emotions how do you feel about it ? It seems you care about her relationship can be hard to deal with sometimes in the beginning and people usually get over it What are the times when you don’t have this feeling ? What are the things make you worried or nervous ? What do you think could help you ease your feeling ? What do you do most of the times when you together ? Have you tried our wellness test and growth exercise
Anonymous
December 21st, 2019 7:29pm
Many people are nervous because they have underlying feelings about there girlfriends and they are holding back there true self, Also many people are nervous because they are nervous about something else but the subconscious does not want to let it out. One thing to do is think about every important event in your life and you should be able to narrow it down to a couple of things that can make you nervous. A important step is being your self because it will be better in the long run, this is true because if you tell lies and forget then you will have bigger problems.
Profile: FrostWire
FrostWire
January 3rd, 2020 8:30pm
Hi; thanks for speaking out, I'm Frost-Wire and welcome to Seven Cups. First; i want to start by asking: How long has the thought been lingering within you? If it's been present since you both have started dating, an you have not shared this thought; what's the best answer to the three more heart felt questions? "Is this love?, Does or will my inner axiety or nervousness be seen?, what can I do to confront my inner dwelling problem?". I understand that relashionships can be time consuming and with them comes alot of needed support. If you have anymore questions feel free to ask either me or the team for help; thanks for being part of the movement, and we hope you do well.
Anonymous
January 11th, 2020 3:23pm
Being nervous around your girlfriend is normal. Usually when you like someone, you get nervous. You're probably worried about what she'll think of you. You probably want her to think about you in a good way. You don't want to mess it up. In a relationship, you might even fear that you and your girlfriend will break up. You might feel nervous even during a phone conversation because you don't want to say the wrong thing. You might never stop being nervous around your girlfriend, but eventually you will feel more comfortable around her. I wish you the best of luck.
Profile: CalmCourage
CalmCourage
March 7th, 2020 12:14am
Hey there, that could be a few different things I guess... It could be you are scared of messing it up with her so that makes you nervous. It could be that she is amazingly beautiful and that's making you nervous... it could be you are scared of her shouting at you or being annoyed with you (only put this in because that's how I used to feel with my ex). But I guess you will have to have a deep look within to find the answer, I think you know the answer already but may find it hard to piece it together? Perhaps talking to someone on 7cups may be helpful for that :) Hope this helps!
Profile: freshSunshine8864
freshSunshine8864
April 12th, 2020 12:31pm
For me when I started a new relationship with my girlfriend who happens to live "literally" half-way around the world, I always felt nervous. On hindsight I found that being open and honest at all times was the best way to get over that nervous feeling. I think that the nervousness you experience is that you don't want to do something wrong in her eyes. So, if you want your relationship to grow past this nervousness, just be open and honest. Never hold back describing what you mean and how exactly you feel. Most people I believe will respect you more when you are open and honest. This helps develop the relationship and grow more meaningful.
Profile: optimisticSoul314
optimisticSoul314
April 24th, 2020 4:48am
Butterflies in the stomach are part of the fun of entering into a relationship! This is totally normal. After all, the acceptance from another person when it isn’t sure they will like you is a huge confidence and mood booster. The important question to ask is - how can you keep the nervous feeling in the healthy range? The positive parts of being in a relationship can be the adrenaline rush of acceptance and validation, and extra excuse to be our best selves, and really using the time to reflect on our actions - and with a new set of eyes review what we do and who we are to look for growth opportunities. Ie on second thought, maybe I won’t leave milk on the counter to spoil... It becomes unhealthy if it is too much stress or you stop feeling comfortable being you best self. Keep an eye out on how you are feeling, and you can fully enjoy the infatuation period Of a new relationship.
Profile: omar98
omar98
April 26th, 2020 10:27pm
Well, there are many reasons. Maybe you're overwhelmed by the fact that you're in an actual relationship. Maybe you're too concerned about impressing her. Maybe you're nervous because you want this to work out. Maybe you're not sure you're being a good partner. Maybe there's a ton of things you'd like to share with her but just don't know how to do it. Maybe your last relationship didn't end up well and you don't want this to end up the same way. Maybe you're scared of the possibility of this being something serious. Maybe you should tell her that you get nervous! It can take so much pressure off of you to be truly open to her.
Profile: BiMonk
BiMonk
April 29th, 2020 7:05am
This has happened to me once before. Without knowing your situation at all, I have two possibilities for you: You two have not both shown your vulnerable, embarrassing sides to each other. When two people are in a relationship, they generally let each other know about everything. That’s the great thing about being in a relationship! Two people can entrust each other with their most private thoughts and emotions without any judgment onto the other. You feel anxious likely because you and her have not done this yet. And if you both have done this, it’s likely there is still something you are hiding from her, or she is hiding from you. Also, you both may have not expressed your equal love for each other. 2. You two are just not compatible. I had a girlfriend once where we both “bared our souls” to each other. We both expressed our deepest vulnerabilities. But still I felt kinda anxious around her. I still didn’t feel 100% myself. And I chalk it up to the fact that we just aren’t super compatible. We didn’t mesh perfectly. It didn’t really have to do with specific interests, but more a general chemistry with each other. I think we enjoyed the idea of liking each other—but in reality we just didn’t really care for each other as much as we thought we did. I would talk to her about it. Tell her that for some reason you just still feel nervous around her and that you’d like to try figuring out why. Good luck
Anonymous
April 30th, 2020 3:47am
Maybe because you are insecure about hurting her through your behaviour or actions. The point is that some time we love someone so much that we can not stand watching them hurt. And we dont want to be the reason for doing that. So we over think about each of our action and words and how they might affect them. Maybe you are afraid that you might lose her doing so. Maybe because you are trying too hard to impress her with things that you feel are not good in you or the things that you feel she likes.
Profile: DylanletterR
DylanletterR
May 11th, 2020 5:33pm
There are many reasons to be nervous around a significant other. I am not exactly in your position or you but what I do know is that it could be because you don't want to embarrass yourself or upset her. I can relate to being anxious or nervous around my girlfriend because I am sometimes just really worried that I am not showing enough affection, caring and being kind enough. I would take a good look at your situation and try and find the root of the problem, and then go from there. I hope that this helps you out!
Anonymous
May 13th, 2020 9:37am
I was extremely nervous when I started dating my boyfriend. I did not know what to do, if he would think I was weird or start to not like me anymore. I started to realize that I was getting anxious around him. I was worried that I wasn’t good enough for him or that I would embarrass myself in front of him. I decided to talk to him about it. I broke down and told him all my fears and the reason why I get so awkward with him. He lovingly reassured me that the scenarios in my head were all fake and that he truly cared about me. I felt so relieved telling him how I felt. After that conversation I wasn’t as nervous around him anymore.
Profile: healingBlossom935
healingBlossom935
May 21st, 2020 4:23am
You probably like her a lot and always want to be your best self with her. This is good. But try not to put too much pressure on yourself. She's probably just as nervous as you are. So make sure that the both of you are communicating effectively and truly getting to know each other very well. Both your likes and dislikes, your values, how to approach certain situations. I think that once you are able to get past the basic stages, you won't be too nervous her anyone (and she won't be too). Take it easy. Discover your love. :D
Profile: Ran3707
Ran3707
June 6th, 2020 6:37am
Being nervous around a girlfriend is perhaps a sign of worry or feeling that this relationship might sour. This is a friend and a person with whom there may be a potential romantic interaction. Of course, we all know our shortcomings. But that is not usually important unless it is made the focus of the relationship. The relationship exists to build on the strengths that each person brings to the table. This is the purpose of the bonding. Where this relationship brings real happiness and confidence about the future, both parties may decide to marry. People want to know about the personality they are befriending. They want to see the motivations and the potential of the other party. Worrying too much about the problems does not solve this issue. But there is always the cautious need to know the other to determine what will be the outcome in the future of the relationship.
Profile: Asher
Asher
June 6th, 2020 7:24am
We are sometimes nerbous around the people we care about so much as we are worred that we might lose them. It's our brain telling us that we don't want to lose someone so important to us. Our brain is just trying to protect us, but that's a superfical answer. We are nervous as we use to the stigma of always being judged, but it takes time for us to feel that we aren't judged by our partner anymore. With time the nervous may go away as your true self with them. Things may get better with time, as they usually do at times.
Profile: enchantingMelon4692
enchantingMelon4692
June 6th, 2020 5:34pm
If you are in a new relationship with your girlfriend, then it is normal to feel nervous. This may be due to the fact that you do not know her very well yet or may be because you just need time to grow comfortable around each other. That is normal. You are just embarrassed, many people feel that way. Once you get more comfortable dating her, and more comfortable with other people knowing you're dating her, you will feel much better Are you desperate to keep her happy? In a relationship you want to keep each other happy and sometimes this pressure becomes a bit scary and overwhelming, maybe it's even some insecurity about not feeling your equal to her. Let me tell you, whatever you did to end up in this relationship you deserve to be in it and it's okay to relax a little. I'm positive she loves you back!
Profile: TheSacredSilence
TheSacredSilence
June 10th, 2020 11:29pm
sometimes new relationships can create new insecurities and challenges that we were previously unaware of. So to combat this the individual must open themselves to being open, in this sense, you must engage in being within an open relationship and be open to new experiences that may be new or fresh to oneself. You must engage the person with love and compassion and accept them for who they are. accept new roles and responsibilities and inspire each other. Education must be an option and allow for nurtursance and development of an unknown education. Fresh and new ideas must be a must
Profile: Misskhan01
Misskhan01
June 11th, 2020 10:21am
“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.” ~Anais Nin When a relationship causes anxiety, we are groomed to believe our relationship anxiety is the problem. After all, anxiety can strangle love, suffocate it, tear it apart, leaving most of us to believe that relationships and anxiety simply don’t mix. If we feel anxious, most of us believe we need to get ourselves under control lest we ruin our relationship. We don’t see anxiety as useful, we see it as a problem which adds pressure to the anxiety we are already feeling, and ultimately escalates it.
Profile: peacefulLight8704
peacefulLight8704
July 4th, 2020 10:46pm
This is pretty normal, especially if you’re in a new relationship or if you are young and haven’t had many other relationships in the past. It’s very common to feel nervous around people who we are interested in. Lots of relationships do go through a stage like this full of infatuation, called the honeymoon stage, where the relationship is new, fresh, alluring, and exciting. When you are infatuated, you may find yourself on edge when talking to the person who you are dating or who you are interested in. Remember that this nervousness won’t go on forever and try to get to know each other
Anonymous
September 17th, 2020 3:45pm
Sometimes when we admire or love people more than usual, we tend to be very nervous. We also think of how they will react to each of our behaviors, how we can impress them with our personality etc. Sometimes it also happens that we are at a loss of words in front of our favorite people. It's all because we care about their feelings and impressions towards us. It is undeniable that everyone wants to make the first impression remarkable and sweet. So, it's not a bad sign that we get nervous around our favorite people, we are just a bit too much concerned about their thoughts. :D
Profile: LeaNicole
LeaNicole
October 7th, 2020 11:05pm
When you have feelings for someone, it can make you feel all jittery and fluttery inside. This could be because being around this person just makes you feel so happy and loved. It can also be because you don't want to accidentally embarrass yourself in front of them. Since they're your girlfriend, you want to make the best impressions all the time. Being nervous around your girlfriend isn't a bad thing either. Many new relationships feel this way at the beginning. Many like to call it the "puppy love stage". It just means you guys are still getting used to each other!
Anonymous
November 6th, 2020 3:17am
You probably want to impress her and are scared that you will do something to ruin your relationship or her feelings towards you, so you feel nervous around her. Maybe it is your first time having a girlfriend or having one you really like. And you cope with that constant worry by holding yourself back and hiding your true self because you are so nervous to mess it up. Apart of it could be that you feel intimidated or feel like she is better then you. My advice would be to work on your confidence and maybe have a conversation with her about it.
Profile: DarkPiT23
DarkPiT23
November 14th, 2020 12:59pm
If you are in a new relationship with your girlfriend, then it is normal to feel nervous. This may be due to the fact that you do not know her very well yet or maybe because you just need time to grow comfortable around each other. In the majority, this feeling comes from the fear of maybe if they'll say something that'll ruin the whole situation. They may kinda get the feeling of being giddy(sometimes it really happens. I didn't believe this until I saw it myself). Sometimes it may happen because of insecurities they might have. The moment you realize how nervous that person makes you feel. Nervousness is the way our minds tell us someone means a lot to us. ... It's when we feel a need to protect and hold on to another that we have found someone worth keeping around -- someone we care about as much as we care about ourselves
Anonymous
November 26th, 2020 5:52pm
You can nervous for a ton of reasons, good or bad! You might be nervous because of the relationship is new and fresh. It's really nerve wrecking to be able to be with the one person that you truly enjoy being around. Once when you spend more time with her the more your nerves will calm down. Honestly being nervous for some times are just apart of the experience and after the fact when you are able to calm your nerves you will be able to look back on your experiences and truly be able to cherish and to understand them
Profile: aaang3l
aaang3l
December 11th, 2020 9:26am
Especially if the relationship is fairly new, a feeling of need to paint, or uphold a presentable picture of yourself to them is often what drives this feeling of nervousness! The adrenaline or rush of a significant other pushes us to want to be a better version of ourselves, and this can also cause anxiety! Often times, their presence is simply enough to push this feeling, but other times, big first steps, like a first kiss or even a first date can cause this as well. Nervousness will pass, and instead be replaced by a good sort of anxiety. Like butterflies or the rush of being around someone you love.
Anonymous
December 13th, 2020 3:04pm
There's no way to know for sure in such a general way, but it's good to think about it. There's lots of kinds of nervousness. Is it a good kind of nervousness, because you're excited to be around her — like butterflies in your stomach? If that's the case, it can be worth it to tell her that you like her a lot and it makes you nervous. Is it a bad kind of nervousness? Do you fear she might treat you poorly, and if so, has it happened before? If it hasn't and you are treated well by her, it could be an anxious fear, which is not fun but also not the end of the world. You can try and make yourself less nervous by remembering good moments with her and how she hasn't ever treated you poorly. If she has treated you poorly and it makes you nervous that she might again, that's not a very healthy relationship, and you might want to reconsider it. It's never worth it to be with someone who treats you badly.
Anonymous
January 29th, 2021 6:59am
Could it be from past experiences? Maybe even a first time experience? Are you afraid you'll do the wrong thing? There could be something you're nervous about that you haven't thought about in depth that much, and in the end it could even end up being something simple. I don't think you want to just go up to your girlfriend and say "I'm nervous around you". I think it's something you need to think about on your own, ask yourself questions. It could be many things, you know your relationship experience(s) better than anyone. Just know at the end of the day that you should feel comfortable around your significant other, and that obstacles are always going to be a part of a relationship.