Your Internal Critical or Harsh Voice

Aaron Beck was the psychologist that created a form of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. He noticed that his clients were often talking to themselves in very harsh and critical ways and that these thoughts were automatic. He called them automatic thoughts. The clients were not trying to think them.

Further, the thoughts happened below the surface, like the volume was turned way down. Here is a common example:

Part I :You say "hello" to a person and they don't greet you back.
Part II: (automatic thought)
Part III: feeling sad

The automatic / critical though in between part I and II causes the person to feel sad. The person might be thinking: that person doesn't like me, I'm worthless, or what did I do wrong?

Cognitive therapy would help the person learn to a) become aware of the automatic thought; and then b) learn to challenge it with a reasonable or more likely explanation.

This is what it might look like for me:

Part I: Hello Joe!
Part II: What did I do wrong? Did I offend Joe?
Part III: Worry or anxiety about potentially offending Joe.

Once I became aware of my anxiety or worry then I could challenge my thinking with a new thought like: maybe Joe is busy, having a bad day, or simply didn't hear me. When I challenge my thought, my worry goes way down.