What is Toxic Positivity?

As we continue on this growth path, it's important to address alternative aspects of positivity. Recently, the term "toxic positivity" was coined, which describes the action of dismissing negative emotions in order to keep up a false apperance of happiness. The article "What is Toxic Positivity?" by McKenna Princing (written for UW medicine) touches on this issue.

Article Excerpt:

"According to Tabitha Kirkland, a psychologist and associate teaching professor at the University of Washington’s Department of Psychology, it’s important to recognize that positivity is two different but related things: Our internal emotions and the emotions we project to others.  

“Toxic positivity is a way of responding to your own or someone else’s suffering that comes across as a lack of empathy. It dismisses emotions instead of affirming them and could come from a place of discomfort,” she explains."

The Impact of Toxic Positivity:

By resorting to phrases like "just think positive" or "there's light at the end of the tunnel," it dismisses the other person's feelings. No matter how well intentioned you are, this can make the person seeking support shut down and not want to open up to you. In the moment, the best thing to do is assure them that their feelings are valid and it's okay to take a moment to feel sad or upset!

As for yourself, sometimes it feels easier to put on a fake smile rather than to feel sad in front of others. However, according to Kirkland, "Research suggests that people who avoid their own negative emotions just feel worse later on." True happiness does not stem from supressing all negative emotions but instead accepting all of your authentic emotions. As expressed in the article, "We all have a full emotional life. There’s more to happiness than feeling good all the time."

Alternatives to Toxic Positivity:

- Practice mindfulness (if you notice negative emotions/thoughts, just acknowledge them and move on instead of judging yourself for it)

- Recognize that emotions are tools (Anger and fear can warn us of threats or things that are draining our energy in life)

- Admit your mistakes (Recognize and apologize if you cut someone off when they were expressing their negative emotions)

- Let yourself feel your feelings (Take a moment to close your eyes and feel your emotions. You can also journal or talk to a trusted friend of 7 Cups listener)

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Check out Sophia's Daily Steps For Positive Focus HERE.