Validation: Example Member Scenario

Are you patient, accepting, and assuring of the member's feelings and concerns? 

Validating the member's experiences and feelings is crucial because it helps them feel more accepted and more valued. Not only that, it also gives them the space to practice self-compassion towards their own feelings. This can go a long way towards healing. 

Example Member Scenario: I don't even know why I'm having all these feelings, I can't stop crying, it's just all so stupid. 

Awful: Yeah it's a waste of time, you should get on with your day. Actually do something, you know? 

This response diminishes the member's feelings and also the way they live their lives. We don't want to diminish or belittle anything the member is going through. Instead, we want to support them through what they are feeling. 

Mediocre: It's okay.

This response acknowledges that what the member has shared is okay, but on its own, it can sound a little like empty consolation. If we add more detail and specifics, we can help the member feel more supported. 

Good: Sometimes we need to just cry. It's not stupid that you feel like that. 

This response lets the member know that sometimes we will have difficult moments and that it is okay to cry or to experience whatever emotional release that they need to. It also lets the member know that an abundance of feelings or tears is nothing to feel stupid about. All of this is very important, and fundamental to convey. 

Exemplary: I understand, sometimes our emotions can feel overwhelming. Crying is entirely okay and can even sometimes help us feel better. I know it feels stupid to you, but you don't have to be so hard on yourself. It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling. 

This response is particularly empathetic -- it acknowledges the overarching idea that emotions can sometimes just feel like too much to bear. It not only encourages the member to accept their crying as something that is okay, but also to embrace it as a tool that can sometimes help us feel better in our lives. It reminds the member that we don't have to put so much pressure on ourselves to feel a certain way or to hold it all together. Most importantly, and overall, this response gently lets the the member know that all of our feelings are valid and we can view them as such.


I hope that we can all help each other grow and strive towards the exemplary answers, so that we can best support our wonderful members. <3