The Vicious Cycle of Self-Destructive Behavior

We all know that substances alter our brain chemistry and that’s what causes the experiences we have when under the influence of a substance.  Other self-destructive behaviors can also alter our body chemistry.  For example, when we self-harm we are releasing adrenaline and endorphins into our bloodstream.  The adrenaline gives us energy and the endorphins are feel-good chemicals that make us feel “happy” or at least temporarily reduce the negative feelings.  These chemicals also block pain in the body.  

When a person engages in restricting food intake, the body enters a state of ketosis which creates a numbing effect, but also provides a boost of energy.  Binging and overeating, on the other hand have numbing and relaxing effects.  

The problem with these temporary changes in the neurochemistry of the body is that just like with substances, our body can build a tolerance to the internal chemicals we create by engaging in our self-destructive behaviors.  When our body builds a tolerance to something it requires more and more of that thing to be able to have the same effect that we received at lower levels of the behavior, and eventually may even experience physical or emotional withdrawals if we do not use the substance or behavior.  

Oftentimes it’s not until our brains are more fully developed in our 20s that we can start to understand the negative consequences of our behaviors of choice and by then we have spiraled into such a habit of constant use of our survival behaviors that trying to quit using a substance or behavior feels so impossible.  We know that if we use the behavior we are not benefiting ourselves, but if we stop using the behavior then we have to deal with all of the physical and/or emotional pain we’ve been ignoring.  In order to function, we keep using the behaviors but then become ashamed of the behavior and beat ourselves up.  The internal bullying then activates the nervous system and increases the urges and impulses to use the behavior to make ourselves feel better.  It really is a vicious cycle. 

The first step to getting out of this cycle is to realize that these self-destructive and addictive behaviors were your ways of surviving and that there is no need to be ashamed.  In future steps we will look at how we can observe and begin to change self-destructive patterns to manage our nervous system in a way that is better suited for long-term success and healing.  

Reflection Question: 

In what ways do you try to regulate your nervous system when you outside of your window of tolerance?