Support Systems & Reaching Out

Support Systems

2020 was a particularly challenging year to stay connected to people, communities, and our support networks. Part of what we’ve learned this year has been to understand, appreciate, and creatively stay connected with family, friends, and community members, we had Zoom calls with friends and FaceTimed with family for the holidays. And while nothing can replace the experience of physically seeing our supports in person, staying connected to our loved ones is vital to our mental health and well-being. Here we’ll learn how connection can decrease our feelings of loneliness and isolation - two prominent feelings most of us have at some point or another. Let’s learn more about our support systems, who they are, and how they can help us.

Support systems

We have a hard-wired need as humans to be social and to feel a sense of belonging to a group. Research shows that feeling socially connected improves our longevity and strengthens our immune system. Conversely, a lack of social connectedness puts us at risk of developing mental and physical health issues. The 2020 pandemic has shown us we can stay connected to our support systems while social distancing. In fact, many people have preferred using the term physical distancing instead of social distancing as a reminder that we can absolutely stay socially connected even from afar. Although we haven’t been able to see many of our family members and friends recently, it’s important to remember that there’s a difference between feeling lonely and being socially isolated. Remembering you’re not alone - that you have a whole circle of people around you that you care about, and can count on - can be crucial to our healing. So if you’ve ever felt alone or lonely during the pandemic, today’s practice is for you.

Who do you count as part of your support system? Maybe it’s one confidant or an organization. It’s important to note that it’s normal and healthy to have different people in our lives that offer support in different ways.

How do we know our support system is healthy?

Ask yourself:

• Do I feel good after spending time with them?
• Do I feel trust, safety and security in their company and fellowship?
• For supports with shared interest; do I have a good time? Is there healthy competition rather than critical self comparison?
• When I’m with them, can I laugh easily and cry just as easily without feeling judged?
  

Support Systems — how do they help us?

We’re all part of so many systems - whether you interact with 7 Cups communities, colleagues, professional organizations, your kid’s school system, or your neighborhood. When we’re by ourselves — or at home with just our thoughts — it’s easy to lose that feeling of connection to all those places that bring us a sense of belonging. When we bring them into our conscious thought, they become accessible. It’s a reminder that you are, in fact, integrated into systems of people and purpose outside of yourself. The pandemic has left us without regular interactions, but your connection isn’t lost or gone forever. Rather, it’s lying dormant, ready to be revived when the time is right and it is safe for us to do so.

Today I’ll ask you to take a moment to reflect on who’s in your social support circle. To start today's practice, feel free to take a page in your journal and draw four circles, like the ones you see here. Mapping out all of the people and organizations around you helps to build resilience and increase feelings of gratitude. Expressing and feeling thankful for who we have in our lives has been shown to improve our mental and physical health by enhancing our sleep, and decreasing stress.

Home

Beginning with the inner most circle, representing what is closest to you, those in your home. Write the names of all the people, pets, and place(s) you live.‍

Family

In the next circle, write the names of everyone in your family.‍

Friends

In this next circle, write the names of all of your friends.‍

Community

In this last circle, write the names of all of the communities and people within those communities you are part of. Think of your groups that you are part of offline and online. Are you part of a sub-community at 7 Cups? You can include this!

When you have completed filling in your social support circle, take a look. Smile with gratitude that you have so many people and communities around you to support you.

Refer to this when feeling lonely, and see if you might feel comforted by reaching out to someone in your circle. Remembering that we have an entire community of people and supports around us helps boost our resiliency, which is key for getting through challenging times.