Step 7A: The Process of Relapse

It helps to understand relapse as a process, a systematic chain of psychological events that logically follow from one another.

A high-risk trigger occurs and at that point, “two roads diverge in a yellow wood,” as Robert Frost famously wrote. You can respond effectively with any of the 10 methods of resistance or the Surf the Urge of acceptance. On that road, you feel more confident about your ability to maintain your goal or resolution, you do not slip, and you are back on track. Actually, you are better than back since you feel the accomplishment and strength at overcoming the temptation.

The other road leads to danger. After the high-risk trigger, you respond ineffectively and, as a result, feel weak, unconfident, embarrassed, guilty, incompetent. Monique, for example, began thinking, “Maybe I can’t change these addictions. I don’t have the willpower.” A return to the old behavior began to look and feel more attractive. She temporarily expected positive outcomes from the old behavior. Monique rationalized “The cigarette would be relaxing” and “A drink or two would hit the spot with a smoke.” She selectively ignored the actual negative consequences of “This cigarette will make me want to smoke more” and “Drinking brings a host of more problems.”

Those two feelings—decreased self-confidence and old behaviors appearing attractive—conspire to instigate a slip. If not prepared, that slip can provoke a torrent of nasty thoughts about your incompetence and your inability to keep on track.

In the box below, summarize the process of relapse as you experience it.