Step 6B: Monique’s Story

“For the life of me,” Monique lamented, “I cannot resist the sweets.” And no wonder: she had given into the temptations for a lifetime and had never developed the skills to resist. What’s more, she found that sweets led to a glass of wine and a smoke—a cascade of urges that seemed to flow seamlessly together.

Monique started using the grab-bag of 10 proven methods to resist the initial urge, and they worked about 90 percent of the time (“the best I’ve ever done in my life”). She was understandably pleased. And she was “amazed” by the effectiveness of surfing the urge. She discovered her capacity to stand back, observe what was happening, and think about what she was doing rather than being on automatic pilot. She learned to watch it pass. Her cravings did not need to dictate what she did.

Monique was particularly taken by one of Dr. Marlatt’s urge-surfing methods of seeing through the “PIG.” The pig is a greedy, impulsive animal with a ravenous appetite; it stands for the “Problem of Immediate Gratification.”

The pig shows up, grunting, “I’m starving. I’m craving. Feed me now.” If you respond by giving the pig what it demands, then the pig gets bigger and stronger. It begins to control you. When your pig is saying, “Give me, give me, give me now,” talk to the pig. Relax, observe, become mindful, and share a moment of contact. 

In the box below, describe what you can say to your PIG next time it surfaces?

Identifying and surfing the PIG can prove a powerful method. Those of you having difficulty with the more abstract image of surfing the urge might prefer visualizing a loud, disgusting PIG demanding to be fed. See it rummaging; hear it grunting; smell its stench. That concrete image can help you experience the urge as something external and alien, something that you can curiously observe rather than fight.

Surfing the urge did not come easily or naturally to Monique at first; it is for most of us a new skill to be acquired. She began practicing the exercise twice a day for a week. Until she mastered surfing and could resist temptations closer to 99 percent of the time, Monique would rely on a slip plan, to which we now turn.

Like other adaptive humans, Monique added her own touches to urge surfing, individualizing her relapse prevention methods. When breathing deeply and beginning to surf the cresting urge, she would begin to pray or say a rosary. Others add a bit of formal meditation or body stretching to let go of the tension. Be flexible in applying it to you and your unique circumstances.