Rumors and Gossip: How to protect our community from such behavior
When we allow negative comments to float around our community we are polluting our home and making it less amazing. For the context, let us define what gossip and rumor mean:
Gossip→ idle talk especially about the personal or private affairs of others.
Rumor→ a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth.
How are Rumors and Gossip hurtful to us as a community?
Rumors and gossip are hurtful because they are biased information being spread around without the consent of those involved. They damage trust, bring negativity and cause many hurt feelings. This is not what our community stands for, and I (nor any of you) should tolerate these interactions in a place where support, empathy and compassion is the focus.
In any large community, news and information travels fast. It is an invisible river that runs through the entire 7 Cups ecosystem. Knowing this, we must also acknowledge our role in it. There are two types of information that run through this river:
------> Helpful information - learning, links to threads with more information on a particular topic, peer support, getting to know others and supporting one another
------> Unhelpful information - information about specific people or groups, information about leaders, language that is competitive, language that attempts to isolate others or push them down
Unfortunately, in a large community like ours, it is impossible to keep all of #2 out. However, in discussing it openly, we can proactively prevent and minimize it. But it's up to all of us (not just the community management admin). We each need to take a stand against the spread of unhelpful and hurtful information.
We must all be part of the solution, not the problem. We must all be part of strengthening the connections in our community, not weakening them. If you see something, you must say something. And here are four ways we ask you to do that:
1) If you believe someone is sharing gossip with you, we ask you to stop this individual by saying the following: "Hi XX, I know you may mean well, but I do not feel feel comfortable hearing this information. I encourage you to stop sharing this information with other members of our community as it could be hurtful. I would like to change our conversation topic right now. Thank you!"
If you have any reason to believe someone is sharing gossip with you, stop them in their tracks. Be part of the solution.
2) Gossip & Community Guidelines: As you know, gossip is listed as a violation of our community guidelines. You can be reported and receive behavior points for gossiping. If someone is gossiping, you may report them using the block reports, written text reviews or the L-L report form. If you see something (especially a consistent behavior), say something.
3) Stop Triangulation! Triangulation is very similar to gossip but instead of happening between 2 people, it is between 3 or more. It involves sharing information and avoiding conflict resolution. Take some time to educate yourself on healthy conflict-resolution and avoiding triangulation by reading this post.
4) Lastly, part of this solution is self-reflection. Take a look at your own behavior to ensure you are not sharing gossip and acting in the best interest of yourself and our community. We are all responsible for our own actions. Remember why you are part of this community, do some self-evaluation if needed and adjust your guidelines accordingly.
Watch this video:
Gossip Dump Form!
If you become aware of a juicy piece of gossip and you are bursting at the seams to tell someone (we have all been there)… Don't! Instead, you can anonymously dump your gossip in this form! Nothing you say in this form will be considered a report and honestly, we likely will not read the contents. Consider this a safe space for you to vent and release your gossip!
When you want to handle gossip and rumors in a healthy way..
✔Stay calmed and take a step back before reacting.
✔Confront the source and use conflict resolution skills.
✔Use the reporting tools (learn more about those here).
✔Be willing to clean the air and move forward after it has been addressed.