REACH 5.1 ❍ Role Play

• Write a hypothetical conversation between you and the person who wronged you. What do you say? What does the transgressor say?

Example: Me: You really hurt my feelings when you lost your temper and started insulting me. You didn’t even seem sorry.

Wrongdoer: I didn’t realize it still bothered you. That makes me feel bad.

Your turn.

• Did you consider the person’s history? The pressures on that person? The reasons that person acted as he or she did? Write some other things you did not consider that you think might help you understand the wrongdoer more
• Now—and this is important—place an empty chair across from you, and read your dialogue aloud. Sit in one chair for your lines, and then sit in the other chair for the other person’s lines. You will be moving back and forth every few seconds. This exercise will be more effective if you continue this imagined conversation for five to ten minutes. (Research supports that if you do this seriously, it can be the single most effective thing you can do to forgive the wrongdoer emotionally.)

Do you have any new insights now that you are putting yourself in the other person’s place? What are they?

What have you realized about the person’s motives and feelings? Do you better understand their feelings and reasoning?

Answer the following questions:

1. Are there any reasons to feel sorry for the person who offended you?
2. Does he or she need forgiveness? From himself or herself? What about from you?
3. Do you feel any sorrow on behalf of the person?