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Phrases and Questions to Keep the Chat Moving Forward

The following phrases and questions could help especially when you don't know what to say in a chat anymore, or when the member you are listening to is not talking anymore.

  • Hi, welcome to 7 cups! I'm _____ and I'm here to support you :) What would you like me to call you?
  • Hello (Username)! I am so glad you reached out and took this step. 
  • You can share what’s in your mind openly and comfortably. You can think of me as your good friend.
  • Through all of this I want you to feel supported and comfortable so please feel free to let me know what you need or want.
  • What would you like us to talk about? 
  • Would you like to share with me what bothers you?
  • What brings you here?

Checking on them again:

  • Hey, I was thinking about you, how are you doing?
  • How have you managed so far?
  • What have you done to stay above water?
  • What is working for you?

Feelings/Mirroring:

  • What makes you feel ____?
  • Is there anything in particular that has caused you to feel ____?
  • How did that make you feel?
  • How have you been dealing with that stress?
  • From what you've said, it seems that you feel/are___
  • If I hear you correctly__

Situation:

  • You have mentioned ____
  • How have you been coping with it?
  • How did that problem start?
  • What do you like about this situation?
  • What worst do you think can happen?
  • What best do you think can happen?
  • Have you ever had a similar situation in the past?
  • What has helped you before in the past?
  • That's not a fun situation to be in. Are you safe now and did you take care of yourself after? I'd just like to know that before we start talking.

Validation:

  • I would feel that way too/ would be concerned, too.
  • Something like that would really upset me.
  • ________ sounds hard, especially on top of everything else.
  • I can only imagine how this must make you feel.
  • It can be so difficult to ______

Learning from the past:

  • Since when has it been feeling this way?
  • Did it use to be better before?
  • What was different in those better days?
  • How did the better-days change?
  • Could you have dealt with any situation of the past differently? 
  • What lessons do you learn from your past?

Understanding Present:

  • How have you been spending your time?
  • What activities fill your cup (are healthy for you)?
  • What things/behavior drain your cup (are unhealthy for you)?

Towards Solution:

  • What have you done to deal with that problem?
  • Have you spoken to someone about it?
  • What are your options?
  • What do you plan to do?
  • Have you considered ______?
  • If you had a friend who was going through the same thing, what would you suggest them to do?
  • What would you say matters the most for you in your life?
  • What things can you do for your loved ones' happiness?
  • Do you have hopes/dreams/goals for the coming time?
  • What would the best-version-of-you say to the present-you?
  • Visualize how a 10/10 (perfect) life would be. Envision the steps that would be required to achieve it.
  • What can be a small step that you can take today towards your perfect life?

Asking about your listening:

  • How is this conversation going for you? 
  • How could I support you better?
  • Do you feel heard/understood through our chat?

Reflecting:

  • You are _____ (angry/sad...etc)
  • It sounds like _____
  • It seems like _____
  • What I'm hearing is ____
  • You seem to be saying that ____ 

-> Try to not interrupt

-> What makes you feel ___? AND NOT why do you feel ___(questions the feeling/invalidates a bit) 

Phrases showing you're interested and listening:

  • Tell me more
  • Would you like to tell me more about it?
  • Go ahead
  • That sounds interesting/terrible/really hard to deal with etc
  • I see
  • I hear you
  • I understand
  • I get that
  • That makes sense
  • That's understandable 

Encouraging Engagement Template:  

Step 1: Address what the Member has shared in their previous message 

Step 2: Relate back to their feelings and encourage to share  

Step 3: Always end each message with an open-ended question and repeat Step 1 - 3 continuously. 


Please remember to use those notes as a way to get unstuck, and not as a robotic way of going through every chat. 

Original post here by @Adelaide765, send them a thanks!