Open-Ended Questions: Example Member Scenario

Are you asking open-ended questions to understand the situation better?

Asking open-ended questions (questions that don't have a straight 'yes' or 'no' answer) is a great way to learn more about the situation and also understand the member's thought process better. It's also a great way to be more engaged in the conversation, which will help the member feel more comfortable with opening up more. 

Example Member Scenario: I'm not looking forward to driving up to see my wife's parents this weekend. Her dad's never interested in anything I try to talk about, and we don't end up doing anything fun there anyway. 

Awful: Oh, sounds like a pain in the bum. 

This response doesn't give the member any opportunity to share any more information. 

Mediocre: So you don't like her dad? 

This response is a yes or no answer, but at least it gives the member some space to elaborate on his way of saying 'no' if he would like. 

Good: Is it a long drive? What do you guys usually do together when you are there? 

This response first gives the member an easier, more neutral question (is it a long drive) that is easy to talk about. Then it gives the member an opportunity to talk about what they do together as a group, so he can share more about what his family is like, and share more about his thoughts about it all. 

Exemplary: It sounds like visiting your in-laws makes you uncomfortable, which I can understand. What are some interests or hobbies that her dad has, that he enjoys in his own time? What do you guys usually end up doing to spend time together when you are at their place? 

This response is first of all empathetic, as it lets the member know that you are understanding his primary emotion of discomfort around his in-laws. It picks up on the father's disinterest in the member's conversations, and inquires about what the father might be interested in -- this could possibly help the member think of some ideas. And it also asks about how the family spends time as a group, so it gives the member an opportunity to go further and talk about the family dynamic as a whole. 

I hope that we can all help each other grow and strive towards the exemplary answers, so that we can best support our wonderful members. <3