Listening Tips and Encouragement During your Chat with a Member

• Do not multitask. They are reaching out to you for help.

• Start by welcoming them and introducing yourself.

• Now say, "Want to start by telling me a little bit about what brought you to 7 Cups?"

• Relate to this member as you would a good friend and simply care for them. That is the most powerful thing you can do.

• Say things like "Oh okay" or "I understand" or "mhmm" to show that you are paying attention and listening. Avoid chatspeak or deliberate misspellings of words. Please use full words, not abbreviations.

• Reflect back to the member summarizing what the member is saying. It is okay to use their same or similar words. Summarize throughout the conversation.

• Listening is a skill. Your first few chats may be challenging. This is very normal when you are learning a new skill. Please be kind and patient with yourself as you learn. Give yourself some time to get the hang of it.

• When you show compassion to others, you also learn to show compassion to yourself. You will think to yourself, "Wait a second, I was just really loving to that person, I’m going to show myself that same level of love and compassion."

• Listening is a team sport. You can’t do it alone. The listener support room is filled with great and experienced listeners who are ready to help. You are part of a very big and very approachable compassion community!

• Blocking a guest is appropriate when they are being abusive, sexting, or insulting. It is not appropriate when you simply do not approve of the issue the person is struggling with. If you are triggered, let the member know that they need to connect with another listener because you are not the best fit to address this issue.

• Do NOT give advice. Advice is not helpful. If asked, say "Advice is easy to give, but it can be wrong or harmful. You are the expert on you. The best thing I can do is help you figure out the path that makes the most sense to you."

• Listening is a very real way that you make the world a better place. It is how we care and love others and, in turn, experience greater care and love for ourselves. It is a beautiful mystery.

• Use open-ended questions to help the member express themselves. "What would you like to see different in your life?" "How do you feel about that?" "Can you tell me more?"

• Imagine yourself as the member. What would you be thinking and feeling. Share that with them. "If I were in your shoes, I’d be feeling?"

• Label the emotion that the member is feeling. Example: "It sounds like you feel sad." "You sound frustrated." Label emotions throughout the conversation.

• Ask the member if you can follow up with them to check up on them. Let them know they can message you whenever they need support. A long-term relationship with you can really help!
  

Courtesy: Listener Tips that appear in your chat-window during your chat with a member.