Bullying Chats
Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions.
The bullied individual typically has trouble defending themselves and does nothing to 'cause' the bullying.
Some useful tips on these kinds of chats:
- Remember it is never the victim's fault that they are being bullied.
- While there is a common belief that bullies are 'just people taking out their problems on others', we want to be careful and not invalidate the victim's feelings by trying to excuse why the bully is abusing them.
- Bullying often impacts the self-esteem. You may want to check out the self-esteem guide.
Useful Questions:
- How do you feel when they do x?
- What helps you cope with this situation?
- Do you have anyone in your life that can support you through this?
- What happens after they do these things/what do you do?
- What is something that makes you feel good about yourself?
- Whom do you know that might have also experienced something similar?
- Have you told about the bullying to someone who'd care for you?
- Have you tried telling someone?
- Could it help if I share with you a resource on bullying?
Useful Phrases:
- You don't deserve that kind of treatment.
- I am sorry you are being bullied, you deserve kindness and respect.
- This is a safe place. I would be kind with you here.
- It's hard to talk about bullying, thank you for trusting me with this.
- Other people's actions are never your fault.
- You are dealing with this the best way for you.
- It's scary to stand up for yourself when people treat you that way.
- It's okay to feel that way (or suggest possible feelings to the member) when someone does that.
- Many times bullies bully others because they feel unloved themselves. When their words can no longer hurt you, you are winning.
- If you tell someone or report against them, that can help as well. Then it can get them in trouble and make them see how they are hurting others.
- You can tell a teacher, another friend, parents or any other adult authorities. (if the member is teen)
- You can make it to the other side, whatever the bully might say it is not true.
RESOURCES
http://www.pacerteensagainstbullying.org/ - A organization against bullying, also has great information.
http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Resource_Centers/Bullying_Resource_Center/Home.aspx - Information on bullying where to find help, based in America.