A Working Path for Self Harm Recovery

First Step
 

Taking the first step can be hard, confusing and even scary sometimes! 

But you already did it!

You are here! Looking for help and support and trying to recover from self harm and cope better! That’s a big step we are proud of you for taking! You should be too.

 

 

Tell Someone

 

It can be scary to talk about the very thing you have probably worked so hard to hide, and you are not sure of how people will react, especially if you have had a bad past experience, but it can also be a huge relief to finally let go of your secret and share what you’re going through.

Deciding whom you can trust with such personal information can be difficult. Ask yourself who in your life makes you feel accepted and supported. It could be a friend, teacher, religious leader, counselor, or relative, or even a listener in 7cups. But you don’t necessarily have to choose someone you are close to. Sometimes it’s easier to start by talking to someone a bit further who can be more objective, if it feels more comfortable to type and post, use 7cups forums.

 

 
Understanding Self Harm: Why do you desire to self-harm

 

Although self-injury may hurt the person physically, self-injury provides a temporary relief from emotional problems. However, self-injury does not provide a long-term solution to the underlying problems. As a result, people who self-harm keep coming back for more relief.

 

 

Identifying Triggers

 

Sometimes it is difficult to know when the desire to self-harm will come, and it can be difficult to change self-harming behaviors if you don’t know when to be on your guard.

You can get a better idea of why and when you self-harm by keeping track of times you self-harm and recording your thoughts around the time you self-harmed.

Triggers can be:

• Being with a particular person
• Being reminded of a time you were hurt
• Thinking about negative comments someone made about you
• Preparing for a big project or performance
• Feeling a sense of numbness or “unreality”

Identify situations that tend to make you feel worse, identify automatic thoughts that keep coming up, and find alternative thoughts that help you. Here are examples below:

 

 

Finding alternative coping behaviors

 
Alternative behaviors include any activity that makes it difficult or impossible to self-harm. They may also include activities that help you address the underlying emotions or thoughts that trigger your self-harming. The suggestions below come from a survey that asked people who self-harmed to list their most successful coping techniques.

 

 
Give yourself credit

 

Celebrate milestones, you deserve credit for every step you take, be it big or small!

Some milestones can be:

• first time identifying triggers and noticing an urge coming
• first time actively fighting an urge and stopping it
• 3 times actively fighting an urge and stopping it
• 24 hours, 3 days, one and two week self harm clean markers
• forgiving yourself and continuing recovery path after first relapse
• talking to a trusted person about self harm

 
 

Motivate Yourself

 

 

When things go well,

Give yourself prizes, make your favorite food, go out with a friend you missed, read that book or watch the movie you love but haven’t had the time for lately, stay home all day, take a bath, play with your pet--anything that makes the day more enjoyable for you.

Share your milestones with a friend and ask them to celebrate with you ~ seeing their joy and pride and hearing their encouragement can be a big motivation, 7cups forums can be used the exact same way.

Write that you are proud of yourself and what exactly for, read it aloud to yourself three times.

When things get tough,

Treat yourself like a friend you care for. Be kind to yourself. If a friend or loved one, even a stranger was going through the exact same situation and was being as hard as you to themselves, would you guilt them and be down on them?

Remind yourself that you have made it through a worst time of your life before.

Give yourself time: do self care, vent to someone either in real life or in cups, and remember, it’s okay not to be okay.

 

5 minute rule!

 

As a way to help you cope with the urge of self harm when other ways don’t seem to help, you may use the 5 minute rule, if you feel like self-harming, you wait 5 minutes before you do. Once 5 minutes are up, you see if you can go another 5 minutes. In some cases, the urge will eventually pass.

 

 
Just slow down here!

 

Breathe with the gif for two minutes. Life can be too fast sometimes; so give yourself some calm time. Life will wait for you until the end of this two minutes. Right now you and your breath are the only things that matter.

 

 

What to do when you relapse

 

Relapses are a very normal and completely acceptable part of every clean streak, be it on self-harm, substance abuse and all kinds of addiction or even people pleasing behaviors.

If you ever face a relapse, hold on a second, remind yourself of few things:

Firstly, relapses are normal, so very common and acceptable, not only for you but for thousands of people facing them daily.

Secondly, to break a clean streak, you first need to have it and you managing to have that streak is a big achievement you deserve credit on, by itself! A bad day won’t change the fact you’ve been progressing well.

Thirdly, if you have done it once, you can do it again too. It won’t be starting all over again though, this time you know by experience that you can do it, you are more of an expert on yourself, your triggers and coping skills that work for you.

After remembering that, take care of yourself, annd give yourself time for selfcare. If you feel it’s hard to get through the overwhelming pressure of the experience, talk to someone and when you are ready think of it as if the relapse never happened, keep trying and progressing on your journey!

Gratitude in Recovery 

 

Gratitude is one of the most important and empowering coping skills you can have. As you work through your struggles, remember others who are struggling. Remember who supports you, remember what makes you feel good, and be grateful.

Why is it important for you to maintain a grateful attitude in your recovery?

 

 

 

You are encouraged to walk the complete growth path here