Vaginismus Support

Hi ladies,

I was diagnosed with vaginismus three years ago after getting married and attempting to be sexually active for the first time.  After a year and a half of pelvic floor therapy, I haven't made as much progress as I thought.  I have made some progress and my spouse and I are able to achieve pain-free intimacy much of the time but it just looks a bit different for us than "normal" folks.  Recently had an OB check-up and the vaginismus is still a huge issue and being able to have sex to achieve pregnancy is not possible at the moment.  Also, I should mention that I have a history of C-PTSD and my body tends to hold a lot of stress/trauma/tension.  I am planning to re-commit to gentle yoga, breathing, dilators, etc. but am still struggling a lot with (1) self-compassion and (2) feeling guilty or that I am "broken" and (3) dealing with other women's comments such as "when are you having kids?" or, as they survey my belly fat, "are you pregnant?"  (Can't make this stuff up!  I truly don't know how women still think it's okay to ask these questions in 2024, but nevertheless, it happens and even though intellectually I know that that is their own ignorance at best, rudeness at worst, I still feel shame and being "different."  Anyway, I'm hoping to connect with other women who have experienced or are currently experiencing vaginismus/pelvic floor issues/dyspareunia/vulvodynia, or other sexual + psychological related concerns so that we can all be a source of encouragement and empowerment for each other and thereby counteract the shame and sense of loneliness that often accompanies these conditions.  Sending lots of love!