Enduring Misogyny in the Workplace
I have been with my current company since 2018 and when I was first hired I was the only developer. I was a 1-woman team. For a long time I was involved in almost every hiring decision made by the company for expanding the team I work on. I did all the invisible labor for managing a team.
In 2020 I asked for a title and compensation bump to reflect the work and effort I was contributing above and beyond what I was originally hired to do. I got half of the compensation bump I asked for and I didn't know it at the time but the pay raise put me in-line with the men on the team I was managing. They were already making more than me.
I found out when Performance Reviews came along and I was in charge in giving them. I was also the person put in charge of deciding who got a bonus and a raise. That's when I found out that I was making so much less than others. I was told it was because of the Cost of Living in those areas but it just never sat well with me. I brought it up to HR about pay discrepancies because HR is run by a woman but I was dismissed.
After my question posed casually I noticed that I started to get excluded from meetings and my boss stopped having 1-on-1 meetings with me and started to get really close to a peer of mine. A really talented gentleman who shares some hobby interests with my boss.
Fast forward to a few months ago and the new project has been given to this guy. I'm not saying he's not capable--on the contrary he's a very capable engineer and as a person I like him. He and I get along just fine.
What I'm noticing though is I'm being iced out and when I brought up my concerns with my boss I was told that "You're being defensive". At the start of this year in January I was officially re-titled and demoted to answering to my male co-worker that the boss is now buddy-buddy with.
When there are important meetings, I'm often excluded... as the only female engineer.
But then when we have group assignments and work to be done people wait for me to be the leader.
Folks wait for me to set the example or look to me to create the template that people will work off of. I'm still being seen as the leader in the group even though I no longer have the title and recognition from outside of the team.
It hurts, it's frustrating.
@darkiya
It sounds like you have been putting in a lot of effort and contributing significantly to the team. I would also be upset if after putting in so much hard work, my efforts were not recognized/valued in the same way. It’s sooo upsetting to hear to about the “pay raise” they gave you. I’m so sorry that happened to you. It's more than understandable to feel hurt by how they treated you.💜
I'm in a very similar situation, and it is currently making my job more stressful that it should.
I have been denied a promotion twice, while already doing the job of the position I was denied.
Never again.
@darkiya
You're not alone.
That "cost of living" excuse is 🐂💩. In that case, we should be paying single people more since they have to live on a single income which is more difficult than living on two incomes, but that doesn't happen.
I would look for a job with a new company or internal transfer if I were you. I did the same myself, I do not have the patience for that kind of stupidity and it is not going to change. I found it insanely annoying, and I don't like to sound all "SJW", but some "smart men" coworkers of mine said "it's because you're a woman" so yeah, I can say it. I was treated like an idiot because I'm a woman when I have more experience/education than someone I was originally hired to replace/help out (I got baited into "helping" with another task when I started which I did... And I was successful, but it's as though nobody except the main person I work with understood that's the work I do. They would talk to anyone and everyone, but not me, the person who was actually doing the work, because I'm just a dumb woman. Meanwhile the person I work with is crestfallen that I was being pulled away-- and potentially baited into a stupid situation which I told my manager "lol absolutely not doing that-- and moving to a new department.
